You could bet, oh, dollars to doughnuts that the harebrained scheme was never going to work. But it did involve doughnuts and, had it been successful, it would have netted its mastermind at least $1,000.
The caper, which has to be one of the most half-witted extortion efforts ever concocted in these parts, involved a homeless man known as “Johnny Neptune.”
His real name is Andrew Lawrence McGovern.
He was jailed earlier this week for allegedly trying to bilk a local Dunkin’ Donuts proprietor out of $1,000.
Authorities say McGovern was threatening to sue the doughnut man and two of his employees for $250,000 if the shop owner didn’t fork over a grand in real dough.
What’s more, the reason behind it all was a cracked cellphone. Or so McGovern claimed.
McGovern, 53, has been locked up at the Bibb County jail 11 times for charges that include harassing communications, trespassing and contempt of court, records show. He filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in 1996 and appears to have lived in Macon most of his life.
On Monday, a Bibb sheriff’s deputy was dispatched to the Dunkin’ Donuts on Forsyth Street near the hospital in downtown Macon.
There, Krishna Patel told the deputy that McGovern had been “harassing his employees and his business” at another Dunkin’ location on Tom Hill Sr. Boulevard since March 6, a sheriff’s report said.
McGovern’s outlandish claims revolved around him supposedly leaving a cellphone at that establishment, where, according to him, its screen was busted.
Patel, 41, told the deputy that McGovern had stalked him and “slandered his race,” and also enlisted a lawyer to sue Patel about the phone.
Patel, the deputy’s report said, “could not understand Mr. McGovern’s reasoning.”
While Patel was trying to explain it all to the deputy, McGovern apparently text-messaged Patel and upped his demand. Patel now had 15 minutes to pay or be sued.
McGovern, the sheriff’s report went on, claimed he was headed for the county courthouse to file suit.
That’s when the deputy, Cpl. Greg Thomas, hatched a plan of his own.
He told Patel to find out where McGovern was and to arrange a meeting.
Patel did and Thomas went to the appointed location: the courthouse.
The deputy cruised up and spotted McGovern sitting on a curb across the street.
Thomas arrested him on harassment and extortion charges and took him to jail, where McGovern was being held Wednesday in lieu of $5,370 bail.
