Philippines- (CNN)
Infamous imageboard Zig Forums users were caught off guard Tuesday morning by the announcement by the owner, Jim Watkins' announcement that he is now planning to shut down the website early next month.
"I have been trying to sell Zig Forums for a while now, but nobody seemed to want to purchase it from me." Watkins said during an unannounced Twitch Live stream. "Everyone I approached about selling Zig Forums actually asked me how much I was willing to pay them to take it off my hands."
Sources who prefer to remain anonymous have reported that being anonymous is a microcosm of the introverted fear of rejection and introversion that has led them to being lonely, overlooked and depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts.
"I'm a faggot!" announced Watkins as he began his Twitch Live stream, "and when I say 'faggot', I don't mean 'namefag' or 'tripfag' or 'thisfag' or 'thatfag', I mean I'm a flamboyant homosexual."
Watkins' adopted son Ron was reported to have agreed with Watkins, telling a reporter, "trust me, he's a faggot alright." Watkins also mentioned his penchant for children during the broadcast. "I like 'em young, and Ronnie can attest to that!"
There is no word on what Watkins plans are after he pulls the plug on Zig Forums, but he hinted that he might be pawning the actual servers. "It sucks that the servers are physically located in the United States, because if I set foot on American soil, I will be arrested on federal child pornography and tax evasion charges."
CNN anchorman Anderson Cooper was asked for his opinion on the situation, and he said, "Jim is so gay, that he makes me seem like George Clooney." Cooper was also quoted as saying, "His son Ron wasn't gay when Jim adopted him, but he sure as fuck is now, after being molested by his father all these years."
Specualtion abounds as to what the users of Zig Forums will do once the imageboard closes down. "They have plenty of options", said Watkins, as he french kissed his boyfriend named Major. "They can go to halfchan, go to Reddit or Facebook, or they can simply fuck themselves. I've never cared about them anyway."
cnn.com
