Nog Robs Whitey, Takes Selfie With Stolen Phone, Syncs to the (((Cloud))), Gets Arrested

SHREVEPORT, La. (AP) — A robbery suspect used a stolen cellphone to snap a selfie and, in the process, gave authorities his identity.
That’s according to police in Shreveport, Louisiana.
The Shreveport Times reports the victim of a July 10 robbery told police he was held up at gunpoint as he exited his car. The victim said he surrendered cash and two cellphones, and the robber fled.
Three days later, the victim told police the suspect had taken photos of himself that automatically uploaded to the victim’s cloud. The victim retrieved the photos, which investigators then released to the public. Two days later, a tipster gave a suspect’s identity via Shreveport Caddo Crime Stoppers.
Police say 27-year-old Tommy Lee Beverly Jr. is now being sought on an armed robbery charge.

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Johnny Neptune Here

I've got a great story about a similar event that happened to me a few years ago….

I wasn't 'robbed', but one day I had my phone stolen out of my car. I had gone into a convenience store, and it was busy, so the only available parking space was around the side of the building.

when we came back out, my phone was no longer in my console. There was nobody standing around in the parking lot, and I'll be honest and confess that I actually questioned whether I had left my phone at home.

Went home and couldn't find the phone, so I was about to call my carrier and have the line suspended, when I decided that would prevent me from finding out if any numbers were being dialed from my phone.

I went online to my carriers website, opened my account, and saw that only two numbers had been called.

Using another phone, I tried calling both of them, and the first one didn't answer. When I called the second number, a black woman answered, and I explained to her that my phone had been stolen, and one of the two numbers call from my phone was hers. She said she didn't know anything about it, and didn't remember anybody calling her that day. I thought she might be lying, but there really wasn't a lot I could do at that point….

Then, I went to my 'cloud' and found three photographs of a nigger trying to figure out how to operate my phone's camera.
He WASN'T taking 'selfies', because you could tell from his expression and the weird angles of the pictures that he was confused and probably unaware he was even taking pictures right then.

I texted the black woman back, and sent her the photographs. She called me right back, saying "OH, THATS A GUY NAMED TYRONE!"

She said she didn't know Tyrone, but had only met him once just a day or two before, and he kept asking her for her phone number, and she told me she doesn't even know why she gave it to him, but she did. She said he must've tried calling her, but she didn't recognize the number so she didn't answer, and he didn't leave a message on her voicemail.

SO…. I had Tyrones name and photograph. I tried calling the other number that didn't answer the first time, and nobody answered it this time, either.

I thought about what the woman told me, how she didn't recognize the number, so she didn't answer.

That's when I TEXTED the number
"Tyrone?"

Within seconds, I got a response, a text saying "yea" (sic)

lol !!… I texted, "This is Randall Abernathy, and a friend of yours gave me your number. Please answer your phone. I'm about to call you"

Tyrone replied "k"

go on…

Actually, the comma goes inside the quote marks like this:
I wasn't 'robbed,'

tl:dr

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Did Johnny give the black woman or Tyrone any STDs when they hooked up?

I called Tyrone, and he immediately answered. I used a voice that sounded like a little old man, like some kind of 90 year old geezer, and I told Tyrone "my name is Randall Abernathy, and I I'm calling you from the Centenary Church on Ash Street. Every year we award Ten Outstanding Young Men for being pillars of their community, and you have been nominated as one of our ten selections."

He listened intently

"We host an event every year, with a formal dinner, and we present these ten young men with an award for their service to the community, and we give them prizes, like electronics, gift cards, and a check for $250 each"

He said, "oh that sounds good!"

I told him I would like to meet him to give him a package that contained all the information about the event, and I asked him where I could meet him. He asked if I could meet him at McDonald's.

I told him I would be sending my secretary Janet out to meet him, and that she was very nice, and I was looking forward to meeting him soon.

At McDonald's, my wife Wendy and I saw Tyrone sitting in a booth, so Wendy walked up alone, and took a seat next to him in the booth, where he was blocked in.

(The restaurant was packed, so if he tried to push her out of the booth, he would be seen by everybody)

That's when I walked up and sat in the booth too, facing him.

He was like "wtf?" and I introduced myself. "Tyrone, my name isn't Randall Abernathy. It's Johnny Neptune, and you stole my phone out of my car yesterday."

Tyrones face went blank.
"Oh… You're GOOOOD!" he said, in resignation that I had outsmarted him.

"Look, Tyrone.. I don't want you to go to jail, and you're not going to jail, because you're going to I've me my phone back."

He gave me a sly look and smiled, realizing how cool I was being.

"If you try running away from me, we are going to chase you and call the police, so you're going to handle this like a MAN."

by the way, this is
100% TRUE……….

nogs don't talk like that, whitey

...

Tyrone realized he was busted, and he THANKED ME….

he caught me off guard, because he was actually behaving like an accountable adult.

He told me "I knew I should've never taken it as soon as I did it."

I told him it was okay, that we all make bad decisions, and that we were all going to learn from this, and we aren't enemies.

I told him the phone wasn't the big thing, but the photographs of my children on the SD card were what mattered.

He gave me my phone back……

I got it back.

I was still smoking pot back then, so I asked him if he wanted to smoke a joint of some Kush with me, and he said "yes, thank you"

Like a gentleman…..

We all three went outside and got stoned, and laughed and told each other our life stories.

He apologized for the entire thing, and I put my hand on his shoulder, and looked him in the eyes and told him, "Tyrone, you're a good man."

epilogue: I'm trying to find the actual photographs of him that he accidentally took, but unfortunately I think I may have deleted them

yes, he did

that story is 100% true, and I actually omitted unnecessary details to save space and time

no, they be like, "sheeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, nigga"

Unironically cool story bro

Next I asked him if he wanted to go outside and we both had but tsex.

And we had buttsex all day.

In fact I had so much buttsex with tyrone that I forgot to get my phone back lul.

No, Tyrone wasn't a teenager, and you'd be surprised how fast they can behave civilly, especially when they think that they've just been chosen by a white church to receive an award

I've looked all through my Google photos cloud, and I can't find the photos Tyrone took…..

Dammit I thought I may have deleted them, and I was right….

But I did find a couple other good pics

Like this one of Wendy and Amy right before we all fucked one night

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Johnny why do you format your posts like a retard. Is it so people know you're a retard? I mean, you already make that pretty obvious, so don't worry about that freakish formatting. Also, your constant use of ellipses make you sound like a fat guy who gets winded just typing.

Ashley* not Amy. My bad

I always say Amy. I can never remember her name

Q: what makes you think
you're talking to JN?

If you can answer my question, then you have answered your question

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Wendy just told me that I'm not allowed to show the other pictures……..

Sorry

I don't know why I have a mental block, and I always say 'Amy' when I'm referring to Ashley

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Yeah, Wendy doesn't want me giving you guys pictures of her snatch, so sorry about that

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It's really a shame, because I totally forgot about these still shots of Wendy and Ashley.

I uploaded the video to pornhub, but I had completely forgotten that I had a bunch of still pics. We met Amy at McDonald's. She was in line ahead of us, and we all started talking, and went straight back to our apartment and we were all three fucking within 30 minutes of meeting her.

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Ashley*

GOD DAMMIT!!!!

ASHLEY !! ASHLEY!!
NOT AMY

stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu
stfu

Dementia, the thread.
Wew lad!

Stopped reading right there

Lemme guess: was it something I said?

Tyrone was a good man. He was good enough to realize he really didn't have a choice in the matter, and he pulled my phone out of his backpack and gave it to me without making excuses.

Strangely enough, he's involved in the Narcotics Anonymous meetings I go to, so he's obviously trying to get his life back together, and we've all made mistakes.

Making mistakes is part of life. It's how you handle the mistakes you have made which differentiate between a child and a man

Lemme guess: it's because my wife and I fuck other girls together?

….. Is that the part that pissed you off so badly?

Wendy just said apparently you got triggered when I mentioned that she and I fucked Ashley together, and I can't even remember Ashley's name….

Wendy says you're angry because you're incapable of figuring out how to get even ONE girl, and the fact that my she and I fuck girls together pisses you off so badly that you reacted like a little bitch…

Lemme guess: Wendy's right, isn't she?

Lemme guess: Wendy hit the nail right on the head, didn't she?

Yeah. That's right. True story.

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HINT: the idea is to NOT make it so obvious

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Aaahhhhh…. Look who's here!

…. It's the tiny penis white boy

The ubiquitous uneducated self delusional tiny penis white boy

The trick is to recognise bullshit when you see it. Being full of shit is easy. Recognizing when someone else is full of shit takes knowledge, experience and wisdom. It also takes finesse in knowing how to interact with them, if needs be, lest one gets shat upon.

Triggered by the reminder that Jews lie?

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Lol I'd be upset too, if I were you. Trust me… You have EVERY REASON to be upset….

GEODATA NIGGERS
HAVE YOU HEARD OF IT!?

Well, he's still on the run

I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the secret to your mastery of skank pussy is offering them drugs.

#BlackOpinionsMatter
No one asked you, cotton picker

No,(spaceaftercomma)that's Andy.
He has the equivalent of a roastie cock.

He's fucked more than 600 women,590 of them $20 whores.

His cock has crabs,syphilis,gonorrhea,warts,herpes,aids,Trichomoniasis,carcinoma and impacted shit in his urethra.

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