Roy Moore sets off Sacha Baron Cohen's ‘pedophile detector’

Playing off the Underage assault allegations against Moore, Cohen, dressed again as his “anti-terror” Israeli expert Erran Morad, presented Moore with a fake “pedophile detector test.”

“It turns out that sex offenders and particularly pedophiles secrete an enzyme for DDHT, which is actually detectable,” said Cohen (as Morad) to Moore. “It is three times the level of non-perverts, so the phrase ‘sweating like a rapist’ is actually based on science. In Israel, they’ve developed a machine that is used in schools and playgrounds to detect anyone coming in, and if they detect the pedophile, the wand alerts the law enforcement and schools within a hundred-mile radius.”

Cohen ran the gadget over himself and it was silent. When he ran it over Moore’s body, it began to beep.

“It’s malfunctioning,” Cohen said, before trying it out on another person. When it didn’t beep, he looked back at Moore.

“Is this your jacket?” Cohen asked. “Did you lend the jacket to somebody else, maybe?”

“No,” Moore said. “I’ve been married for 33 [years] and never had an accusation of such things.”

“I’m not accusing you at all,” Cohen replied.

Moore discredited the device and said, “certainly I’m not a pedophile.”

Offended, he cut off the interview.

“It’s been nice,” he said. “I support Israel. I don’t support this kind of stuff.” Moore then walked out.


globalnews.ca/news/4360269/sacha-baron-cohen-roy-moore-pedophile-detector-test-who-is-america-video/

at 2:24 of video

I read a book on Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease. One of the chapters talks about how when men are defensive and insecure about something sexual, they cover their crotch with their hands… subconsciously. As SOON as Sacha (General Erran Morad) talks about pedophiles, rapists, Moore's hands cover his crotch. Body language speaks loud. Trump kept saying vote for Moore until the truth came out

I read a pamphlet about Jesus existing.

Doesn't mean it's true

Granted, Roy more is a pedophile, but everybody knows that if a 15 year old girl walked into the room and took her shirt off, you'd be the first one to start begging her for sex.

Sacha Cohen simply isn't funny

I wonder if after this Moore started to become critical of Israel

Borat was really good even if it was a one hit wonder

Maybe he was raped as a kid, rather than being a pedo

Comedy stops being funny when it becomes propaganda. Borat and Bruno were funny because they didn't target specifics, everyone got hit equally and it wasn't able pushing a narrative. Even the sympathetic main characters were presented as clowns. Whenever comedy stops being for comedy's sake, it dies

Did you really think so?

I guess it's true about Different Strokes for different folks…. I personally never even got the slightest chuckle from it.

I respect your opinion, but for me personally, there's just something about Sacha Cohen that I find decidedly un-funny

You didn't like the Jew scenes at the very least?

There are certain people who are literally born to be funny. They don't even have to say anything, and just looking at them, you already start laughing. It's in their DNA.

Sacha Cohen is the exact opposite for me. I don't care how many people back him and invest in movies or TV shows where he is supposed to be a brilliant comedian, because that doesn't make HIM funny. His DNA isn't funny. his expressions aren't funny, etc………..

and his 'ideas' suck.

No

Everybody is entitled to enjoy what they want. I'm not mad at anybody just because they thought Cohen was funny.

My taste in humor is simply different.

Uh, no

Well I'd find that odd but hey digits don't lie

I don't understand how conservatives are so retarded and out of touch they keep falling for this show, neocucks and their GOP really need to be taken out back and shot the old fucks they are. They serve no purpose other than to undermine the rightwing with their stupidity and israeli cocksucking

Attached: 80fd0a313b3962fc13efb24e55dbcae148e9b3cf857676825471c5009e3fb45f.jpg (260x295, 15.49K)

Except they don't. Sarah Palin couldn't get him to leave and was being polite to him, she didn't even "fall for" anything and just said he's wrong. The gun shop owner caused him to have a meltdown in the parking lot after he saw through the disguise in seconds. It's a numbers game, he's probably failed way more times than he succeeded in doing this shit.

there was something suspicious about that whole election

and i'm still not so sure Roy Moore is a bad guy or that he really lost that election. Simply for the fact that he got slammed so hard from all sides, it sure seemed like someone didn't want this guy making decisions.

I also read that book+other's.
Covering your crotch doesn't have to mean admitting guilt,it can be understood as being intimidated, uncomfortable, lacking reassurance and confidence.

Just like many (mostly women) rub their forearms and upper arms when intimidated many males cover their genitals when they are nervous or feel like they are being attacked (both would be true in this case).

What's suspicious is how the random accusers all dropped their cases right after losing the election. Can you explain that?

Sasha can smell his own kind

...

Too bad you're not one of them

Unfunny comedian makes a joke, it doesn't land. NEWS!

>(((Cohen's))) ‘pedophile detector’
Pot, mean Kettle.

I've never claimed to be funny. Never. Not even once.

That's because I'm NOT funny.

I know several people in real life who are fucking hilarious. They were simply born with the natural ability to see things from a skewed perspective, twist it around, and develop a hilarious take on things.

That's not my specialty. Never has been, never will be.

I'm talented as fuck in many, many ways, but I've never claimed that humor was one of them.

HOWEVER, I think you may be confusing 'humor' with my ability to humor myself, of which, I am indeed a master…..

I couldn't give any less of a fuck whether you appreciate it or not, because that only makes it funnier for me… I keep myself entertained by making little whining complaining bitches like you whine and complain even more….

….so of course, it's completely understandable that you wouldn't find it 'funny' when I'm humoring myself AT YOUR EXPENSE…..

here is the face
of a man who
isn't even
vaguely
funny

Attached: not a funny person.jpg (350x350, 38.48K)

it's FUNNY how you seem
to be oblivious to the fact
that to me, your post
was the punchline
and I was the
setup

Attached: remove pickle.webm (640x360, 1.21M)

...

I don't care how many times somebody tries to convince me that he's funny……

he's not…….

not at all……

Attached: PicsArt_08-01-03.08.19.jpg (1000x735, 99.32K)

YESSSSS!!!!!!!

His ideas aren't funny

The execution of his ideas aren't funny

His characters aren't funny

The premise is never funny

He's not funny

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You should be a politician. You didn't respond the the post at all and instead disagreed, by going on some un related tangent that reinforces your world veiw so that you feel right even though you didn't address the point in the slightest.

You could tell me how 'delicious'
dog shit soup is until you're blue
in the face… but that doesn't
make it true

and no matter how many times
Sacha Cohen gets approved for
another one of his stupid as shit
projects, it still doesn't change
the fact that he's not funny.

Attached: hqdefault(11).jpg (480x360, 36.54K)

you should be a politician, because just like them, I don't pay any attention to you, and the only way you could ever get laid is by a hooker.

I've had to sit and listen to people go on and on about 'how funny Borat was', when there was nothing even mildly funny about it.

in fact, it SUCKED

Attached: Borat-1-617x413.jpg (617x413, 94.52K)

Same exact thing goes for 'the dictator', which was the polar opposite of 'funny'….

it SUCKED

Attached: the dictator.jpg (448x554, 96.06K)

And yes… Again, I've had to suffer through conversations where people tried to convince me how 'hilarious' Ali G was…. oddly enough, absolutely nothing about it made me laugh, or even crack a smile….

it SUCKED

Attached: web-ali-g-getty.jpg (968x681, 96.55K)

…..and Bruno ?…….

well, I don't really need to tell you anything about Bruno, do I?

obviously, IT SUCKED

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0/10

Copy pasting is the lowest amount of effort you can put into shitposting
from youtube no less

and THIS is his latest genius character he's developed?….

Hilarious stuff…….

I can't stop laughing

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at 2:23 of video you were already watching the guys crotch

you're not fooling anybody

what would make Cohen's characters and skits funnier:

if they were developed and executed by somebody else, preferably somebody who's actually funny.

He could be an outlier/exception but nah fuck that all jews are pedophiles.

I think you may be correct

because I'm Jewish, and
the best pieces of ass I've
ever emptied my testicles
into were all underage….

To be quite honest with you
it would be impossible for
me to remember all of them
by name, but I can give you
a few examples:

I married a 16 year old who
had only had sex two times
and that shit was fucking
amazing. it was like taking
a block of modelling clay
and hammering it into my
own quivering sculpture
of my own choosing……

in fact, yesterday I just so
happened to stumble upon
some photos of her from
back when we had just
gotten married.

here she is…..

Attached: PicsArt_07-31-03.07.12.jpg (1080x1505, 205.95K)

Of course I was 32 years old when I married her, which was legal in the state of Georgia, so nobody said a God damn thing about it…

Her parents didn't complain….

She sure is fuck didn't complain…..

Nobody complained…….

But that's not the best hole I've ever blown my load into…..

Let me tell you about the best…..

Attached: PicsArt_07-31-03.08.03.jpg (1080x1669, 221.98K)

Kaitlyn was only 15, and I had just been released from prison……

Oh, wait a minute….

You can't see her good enough here….

Attached: Screenshot_20180801-160335.png (1080x1920, 1.7M)

This is Kaitlyn.

She had the most amazing body you would ever see, strong wide shoulders like an athlete, incredible tiny waist, perfect budding breasts, (nice and small, with pert, upright nipples, with slightly puffy areolas)

I was 47, and I had just been released from prison on aggravated assault charges.

She was 15 and hanging out over it one of my friends houses, and strangely enough, when she heard I had just gotten out of prison, she put the moves on me big time….

I never put the moves on her at all… She had the most amazing vagina, because she had never been laid before at all, and within 24 hours she was letting me fuck her in the ass hole HARD and I'm talking about a real trooper

In fact, she really really enjoyed taking it up the ass so much, that she seemed to be a natural, literally posing bent over on her knees, pulling her ass cheeks apart, and loosening her muscles, gaping her asshole wide open, and just posing like that for me while I smoked weed…

I gave Kaitlyn a hemorrhoid really bad, and I'll admit it was because I was grunge fucking her asshole without any lubricant, putting her in a headlock chokehold from behind…

She was really cool, because she actually enjoyed when I would ridicule her, while she was posing with her gaping asshole, and her hemorrhoid would be sticking out from the left side, and I would tell her what a fucking loser idiot she was…..

She actually enjoyed that…

She asked me to marry her several times. Believe it or not I actually contemplated it….

But that still wasn't the best……..

Let me tell you about the best one……

Attached: Screenshot_20180801-160341.png (1080x1920, 1.08M)

Being this butthurt because of a show. You're just as bad as the lefty cucks.

Stfu

ur gay

sincerely

ur mom

I'm afraid I don't have any photographs of Stephanie, which is really too bad because I used to have dozens and dozens of photographs of her….

No nudes…. I'm not a loser or a weirdo, so I don't take nude pictures of my girlfriends or my wives…. That's bullshit that an amateur would do….

I had a bunch of really really good photographs of Stephanie, because she actually ended up becoming a model.

Stephanie's father was a multi-millionaire big-time. And I'm not exaggerating or making anything up. Their entire family had money, from the top to the bottom they were loaded.

He was from Liechtenstein, and his family owned one of the four major banks in Liechtenstein.

Stephanie was also from Liechtenstein, but their family moved to Atlanta and while she would still travel the back and forth to Lucerne and Nice France quite a bit, she spent most of her time living in a literal mansion on Tuxedo Road in Atlanta Georgia right next to the governor's mansion…..

(They were fucking rich as shit)

I have never hit a hole any tighter than Stephanie's…..

n e v e r . . . .
. . . . . and I have hit so many holes

Fucking Stephanie was like cramming a watermelon through a wedding ring….

It actually hurt… And the funniest part was the more and the more I would fuck that shit, and the harder and harder I would hit it every time, it's still never broke down and got any looser.

That fucking snatch hurt me so bad, and I would literally stumble away from the bed, dripping sweat and exhausted gasping for breath, dripping sweat and exhausted gasping for breath, and it felt like somebody had been trying to wrench my penis off my body with a pair of pliers….

Her shit was SO fucking tight that it brought me to tears. I can't tell you how hard that would make me blow into her, like some kind of fire extinguisher or something…

Stephanie had only had sex one time before I met her, and I can safely guess that whoever fucked her before me probably had to go to the hospital because her vagina was so God damn tight that it felt like your penis had broken in half inside of her…

Stephanie spoke seven languages fluently, and regularly wore outfits that cost around $2,000, shit she would buy in Europe on vacation and wear out to the night clubs with me…

Nobody ever carded her at the nightclubs, because she dressed so elegantly and sophisticated, and her upbringing was so classy, and she was so articulate and fluent in conversation, that nobody would have ever guessed she was only 13 years old….

lol

Hahahaha!!!

Dude I'm so butthurt
You're very astute

hahahaha !!!
I'm so goddamn butthurt

LMMFGDAO @ YOUR
LACK OF PERCEPTION

HOW TO SPOT THE NOVICE:

They actually think I've made it this far by being butthurt

hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

I'M BLESSED, YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!! I'VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH MURDER!!! I'VE LIVED A CHARMED LIFE

trust me, there's nothing about this fucking website that can possibly 'butthurt' me….

So, in summary…….

Like I said I'm Jewish, and although I'm only one person that, I think you might be onto something with your theory about Jewish people being pedophiles…

Dammit!! I almost forgot to show you a picture of Kaitlyn's body.

Her shoulders were amazing, but nowhere near as amazing as her hemorrhoid….

now THAT was amazing !!!!

Attached: Screenshot_20180801-163456.png (1080x1920, 1.23M)

what sucks is that I didn't get photographs of 95% of the girls I've fucked.

reminder to shoot the pedo in this thread as quickly as possible

k champ, premise is safe now, jonny's dead..

Reminder that you're just angry because you never get any pussy, and you're compensating by trying to pretend that you are some kind of moral compass for others to gauge what their behavior should be, while in all actuality, if a 14 year old girl grabbed you by your dick, you would be the first one to beg her for sex…

You're full of shit, you're transparent, you're predictable, and you're a fucking liar….

But even worse than being a liar is the fact that you are a coward….

The phrase 'thou doth protest too much' is a very accurate perspective of little weasels like you…..

The fact that you protest clearly demonstrates that this is a trigger, a psychological panic button, and there's only one reason why you would be triggered by it…..

……… Because deep in the recessed hidden caverns of your inner psyche, you secretly fantasize about fucking underage girls……..

And if you tell me that you don't, that would prove my assertion that you are a fucking liar…..

…. And a sniveling little coward…..

You would jump so fast at an opportunity to fuck a 15 year old, but no 15 year old girls want to fuck you… So you ride your little imaginary Pony of Pomposity and self entitled superiority, telling yourself that you are some kind of Bastion of morality in a world of decadence…

But you're full of shit

It would be hilarious if we could all look at your browser history right now… If you think that we are unaware what a pervert you are, what kind of porn sites you go to Every Night Fever Ashley masturbating to the psychological taboos you refuse to admit…..

Let me tell you who's a weirdo

YOU ARE A WEIRDO

Obviously repressed sexuality is something that has stemmed from your upbringing and more than likely has a lot to do with the delusional religion your parents forced on you as a child, and now that you are an adult male, and your logical mind is well aware that God does not exist, and Jesus is a myth, you still struggle with an inner conflict over the fabric of life as your parents wove it for you, and the secret desire for lurid pleasure, like you find on PornHub, and I guarantee you are not searching PornHub for nuns or soccer moms….

You are a repressed coward Who Lies to hide your inner self from others, and you try to boldly assert your false sense of authority by pointing fingers at people like me, who simply tell the truth, unafraid of whether anyone is offended or not….

You're a fucking bitch, dude

FEVERISHLY*

not 'Ashley'

Feverishly masturbating every night to some of your weirdo pornography…..

(I've got several different Ashleys I could tell you about and those stories are very very graphic and vulgar so I think it would offend your senses)

Attached: PicsArt_08-01-05.04.02.png (1080x1371, 241.48K)

You must have mistaken me for someone who gives a flying fuck about what you have to say

LET ME TELL YOU THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN IMAGINARY LAWS OF MORALITY CREATED BY MAN, AND THE LAWS OF NATURE

HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED CATS MATE?

Attached: PicsArt_08-01-05.08.48.png (1080x1371, 706.81K)

WRONG AGAIN, BOZO!!

You can't get anything right, can you?

I haven't confused you with anybody, bitch… Now shut your fucking mouth while I explain to you about cats…..

Nature has its own set of Lost that have been working perfectly for billions of years before man suddenly appeared on planet Earth…..

If you ever watch cats mate, you might learn a lot from it about yourself…..

When the female kitten becomes a teenager, she menstruates for the first time, (goes into heat) and that means Nature has announced that she is ready for intercourse…

It has nothing to do with desire or perversion, and everything to do with natural instinctual Behavior which has insured life on this planet since the beginning of time

The teenage female cat, (technically somewhere between being a kitten and an adult) is ready to go, and notice which male cat approaches her….

it's NOT a teenage male cat her own age, because they sit back on the sidelines in fear, watching as the older experienced Tomcat struts into the picture, bites the female on the back of her neck, kicks her ass up in the air, and the fireworks begin….

This is Nature's law…..

The fresh young womb of the female teenager, with the experienced survival skills in the molecular memory of the older Tom Cat's genetics guarantee a strong healthy lineage of offspring, with increased chances of survival….

As always I'm using speech to text so you'll have to forgive any typos

If I was dealing with the average idiots out there in the world, I would be concerned about their ability to read between the lines and understand the speech to text misinterpretations of what I'm saying…

But you guys aren't the average idiots….

You guys are smart as shit

So I'm confident that you are able to read the typographical errors created by my speech to text, and be able to interpret what I was actually saying before speech-to-text fucked it up…..

It's not just cats that live by the laws of nature…. That same formula has been the way business is handled on planet Earth since the beginning of time.

There's only one animal that created imaginary morals:
The worthless human animal

You can preach your morals and self-righteous nonsense all you want, but since there is no God, and there never was a phaggot name Jesus, that means your morals, which are definitely based in religion, have absolutely no meaning……

N O N E

That's old archaic delusional schizophrenic religion bullshit from 2000 years ago where some guy was really worried that you would try to fuck his daughter, so while they were making up the fake Bible, they added their sticks and stones fears about the reality of nature, and the reality of the nature of men and man's desires

…. Thou shalt not:

……. Thou shalt not try to fuck my daughter….

(But every preacher we'll try to fuck your teenage daughter as soon as you turn your back)

So you're religious morals mean absolutely nothing

And in fact, inherently, they actually mean LESS THAN NOTHING

Your morals are a lie
Your religion is a lie
Your dignity and Purity is a lie
Your God Is A Lie
Your rules are lies

So the fact that they even come out of your mouth means you're a fucking liar…..

You're preaching imaginary lies

Looking down your nose at nature

Because you're a sniveling little coward

And it because deep down inside
Deep deep down inside of you
Is a jealous teenager who didn't get invited to the prom……..

And your feelings are hurt

But your desires are raging inside of you….

And there's nothing you can say to prove me wrong

If Stephanie or Kaitlyn or Ashley or Anji or Debi or Katherine or Michelle or ANY of them let you fuck them…..

YOUD BE IN BALLS DEEP, BITCH

hey jonny, could post your rantings on /b/? It's a lot more populated board and it would be very interesting to see what kind of replies you'd get there… no one even replies to you here.

I think it's hilarious this guy acts like we'd ever believe anything he says, and he just keeps writing shit like he's interesting and someone's actually engaging with him. It really is a special type of crazy, I'm gonna have to document all this shit.

I don't get it, why do you need believe in someone's words? Can you not think and consider things by yourself?

How to tell if somebody's telling the truth or lying:

When they're lying, the stories are too convenient for the listener

When they're telling the truth, it's inconvenient for the listener

When they're lying the details are catered to The Listener

When you're telling the truth, the details are too obscure and specific to be fabricated

……………… For example

If I wanted to impress you guys and fabricate stories about my past, I would tell you stories about anime or video games or something that would interest you

I wouldn't tell you stories about Elvis Presley and ZZ Top

The devil is in the details

And if you're too stupid to tell when somebody is being honest, then I'm worried about you as you proceed through life

But then anyone here would instantly know you're bullshitting. If you had to make up a story like that, what would you even say?

I can't help but think this guy is a clever troll. He's right about the shit he's saying, but he types like a fag and his shit's all retarded, making the average lurker less-inclined to listen. It's pretty much the opposite of what I do.

I'm clever, alright but I'm no 'troll', at least not right now

I type like
this for a
reason

a reason that nobody
needs to know but me

and the 'average lurker'
isn't my targeted
demographic

I'm shooting for
the
Above Average
Lurker

I would say that
videogames
were the red
carpet to
your
unhappiness


But that wouldn't be a lie

johnny why are you such a chuuni

because my goal
since I was 12…

hasn't been to
'to be liked' or
'to be disliked'

rather, my agenda
has always been

that you'll never
forget me………

and you get to
choose the
reason

But that isn't a story that would impress us or even at least make us laugh, though. I meant something more like this.

Attached: pigeon gamestop.png (992x536, 425.59K)

ok
play a video game for the first time, then come back and tell a story about how unhappy it made you or whatever
that would make the story more real i guess

lol

I don't need to eat a dog shit
sandwich to know it'll end up
with me shitting out proglottids

...

If you think I am stupid enough to be suggesting that playing video games causes instant depression and unhappiness, you would be wrong

But if you think you could enter into a lifestyle of isolation with an increasing codependency on a singular source of electronic companionship, further digitizing your loneliness without ending up being miserable down the road…..

You are fooling yourself

This is exactly what I and some other people want. Not everyone wants to be a normalfag.

Allow me to elaborate. I want to live a life where I care about myself only(normal people would call it selfish), working just enough to cruise through life, pursuing my happiness, dreams and ambitions, and avoid/minimize paying taxes to ZOG while draining as much as I can from ZOG. I want one pet, no kids, no wife, no marriage. If I'm still alive when android wife/gf/sexbot come out I'll get at least one.

if you consider
having a woman
love you and to
believe in you
so much, that she
invest her life into
yours, becoming your
emotional companion
being a 'normalfag',
then your self prophecized
future is EGG ZACK LEE™
what you'll get………..


and I suggest
that your path
was actually paved
with fear and
self doubt….

jej

more power to you
certainly nobody will
hold a gun to your head
and force you into another
path

but I've traveled both roads
for I was once a robot
and I can testify
that the path
you desire
is not
the
1

I wonder if this board will ever be frequented by something else than mentally retarded pedophiles.

Not as long as you're still here!

Life is fractal….
Its a multi-faceted tower
Of shimmering magnificence

It is also an
Overwhelming undulation
Into a well of deep despair

It is all these things and more
And you never know
What's coming
Around
The
C R
O E
RN

LIFE'S WHAT YOU MAKE IT

happiness comes in
many shapes
and forms

However, don't be surprised to
discover that one day you wake
to find that the path you chose
was a ditch you dug

and I can honestly say
that having an emotional,
intellectual, spiritual, and
sexual companion in your
existence is perhaps the
most essential key to
inner resolve and
harmony because
it is the completion
of your own personal
c i r c l e

again, life's what you make it

and we all want someone to

help us make it into memories

neither of you will ever forget

Nice sock puppets

what do you mean? adam sandler is very funny

Dumbass, thats Jerry Seinfeld

…. Just like your mother told you so many times before…..

"Listen to me, you little son of a bitch! Your father was right! You're a worthless little bastard, and you ruined our lives!! Nobody gives a fuck about what you 'think' or what you 'wonder'!!.. now get out of my sight because you make me sick! I'm drinking another bottle of vodka and going to sleep! I should have had that abortion, you little son of a bitch, you!!"

I'm a fucking kikeroach, and still all Jews look the same to me

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