Jim's New Plan To Save His Financially Failed Website

Jim Watkins announced his brilliant new business plan to save The Turdwater from going bankrupt on Tuesday night's YouTube LiveStream.

During the cumbersome, bizarre broadcast, he announced that he plans on "selling cups that say 'Murica' on them", figuring the sales of these cups will pay for all of their overhead and payroll at the laughable news service that nobody cares about in the first place.

Watkins went on to say that his company doesn't make any money, and advertisers keep telling him to take down the stories that they publish.

It's not surprising that nobody would want to spend advertising dollars on a questionable website that keeps publishing misspelled idiotic right-wing Pro Trump propaganda, riddled with typographical errors and erroneous information.

After all, advertisers spend their money to MAKE MONEY, not lose it.

That's what separates them from Jim Watkins, who has such flawed business concepts that he is losing money with each passing day, siphoning his bank account to the point where he has offered his employees a yearly bonus of gasoline and bullets instead of cash.

Tuesday night's broadcast was an eye-opener, and now it's becoming quite clear why his employees are trying to find a pawn shop that will accept gallons of gasoline so they can pay their rent.

youtu.be/WxVfzcqa6So

Other urls found in this thread:

mashable.com/2016/10/18/airborne-cats-pounce-photography-book/?europe=true#C.MOnNOBRPqt
twitter.com/AnonBabble

that's a genius idea!!… Nobody else has ever thought of cups that say 'murica' on them.

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Jim is a business Mastermind. He will corner the market with his one-of-a-kind coffee cup idea

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...

What the fuck is even this shit

since there is nowhere else to buy coffee cups that say 'murica, I predict that this revolutionary original idea will save the Goldwater, and the staff will all be receiving an extra gallon of gas next year

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The sign of a true visionary is when they develop completely original ideas that nobody else has ever thought of.

That's how I know Jim is a fucking genius

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Things have been looking bleak lately at The Turdwater, what with the complaints from the staff about not being able to pay rent, and Jim's series of excuses and continual absence….

But this new business model is SO ORIGINAL that I'm positive it's going to turn things around

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I've searched the internet, and I can't find anyone else who's thought of this unique creative idea.

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I'm one of the staff members at The Goldwater, and although it's true that most of us can't pay our rent, Diana recently received another raise, a personal loan, and she's the only one who gets a cash yearly bonus. She does almost nothing, leaving all the real work to us, but she seems to think she's 'our boss' or something.

It's just because she's fucking Jim for money.

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pisswater is a pathetic shitmill but why are you still mad about the election? I find it incredible you people can find the dedication to be triggered about something so meaningless for entire years.

all journalist scum deserve to starve.

The demand for Jim's MURICA cups is going to be through the roof. I've never heard of a more unlikely, clever idea in my life.

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Last night, Diana admitted that she didn't know what a 'dingleberry'was until just two days ago. She also admitted that she didn't know the definition of 'procrastination'. she even demonstrated that she doesn't know how to pronounce it. She is one of the stupidest women in the Philippines, and that's not easy to do.

Yet she fucks Jim, so she gets paid.

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Q: why didn't somebody already think about this idea?

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The cups will never sell. there's no demand for them. if they want to make money, they need to let Diana go walk the streets of Manila, selling her holes like she did when Jim met her.

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They should make the bottom of the cups out of a water soluble material, so after filling it with liquid, you pick up the cup, and the same thing that happened to The Goldwater occurs.

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Jeez Johnny, take your meds man.

I thought Diana couldn't have vaginal intercourse ever since the recent abortion. She could call her rectum 'murica' and save the Goldwater, one customer at a time.

is it just me, or are there actually over 3,850 websites selling their own Merica cups?

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you rude son of a bitch, you. Any woman that could see Jim naked with laughing, vomiting, or both deserves every penny she can get.

Lel af!
Jimbo wants to "do" you, Johnny!

Also, gonna need the sauce on that webm. Needs more context.

could someone explain the Johnny Neptune thing to me ? Is he a disgruntled ex employee or something?

...

'he' is actually a small team that Jim pays to create discord, but I'm not sure why

Dianna Prinz is a nice looking woman. I could see someone wanting to spend time with her.

Then you may be interested in buying a cup

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Jim just emailed me his latest design idea

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ouch

Hi. I'm Philip Fairbanks, reporter at the Goldwater. Jim will never tell the truth about his subversive 'johnny Neptune bot' team, but I know for a fact all of the guys who played the role of Johnny Neptune actually get paid.

Meanwhile, I spend my afternoons in a Exxon parking lot offering to sell half a gallon of gas out of my Goldwater gas can, just so I can afford McDonald's coffee.

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Ouch?

Did she use those big old horse teeth on you, too?

Hi kids ! Watkins Xerxes here. Please buy one of my cups.

Hell… I'll sell my girdle… I'll sell anything that's not nailed down.

I have been foolishly overspending on lavish bullshit like the condominium and abortions for Diana, and it's finally catching up with me.
Please help

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ANNOUNCING The Save The Goldwater Contest!!!

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO PARTICIPATE

Everybody is invited to come up with marketing ideas that will help save Jim bizarre website….

Everybody please tell us your best idea on how Jim can drum up some cash fast

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I'LL GO FIRST!!

Instead of trying to push his right-wing Trump agenda on everybody, he should appeal to the image board culture instead

He should reach out to Chris Chan, and get him to agree to participate in a lottery…

Where the highest bidder has Chris Chan come to their house and clean and cook for an entire weekend, wearing a dress

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How about for $40, Diana will write a story about YOU on the Goldwater

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How about for $20, Major Burdock will give you a hand job while in a theatre watching the upcoming Venom movie?

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mashable.com/2016/10/18/airborne-cats-pounce-photography-book/?europe=true#C.MOnNOBRPqt

TODAY IS AUGUST 8TH, INTERNATIONAL CAT DAY

there's a great book called POUNCE that's worth looking at

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That's an interesting theory you have there.

How about just shut that site down, Jim. I'm a news junkie. All I read all day long is news and politics and current events. The only time I click on a Newsplus or Goldwater link is completely by accident.

Where can I buy one of these mugs from Jim?

reminder that jews exist to be cocksleeves for aryan dickgirls
little jewish dicks kept in chastity FOREVER

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8chans not broke so who cares

What? Theories have yet to be proven. What I stated is well proven.

Thanks, but I meant the original source, Johnny. Still, I'm sure you're overjoyed at being so succesfully irritating.

This is true. I'll tell you why in a couple seconds..

Johnny Neptune is a consortium of individuals hired by Jim (so current employees, not ex-employees) for three reasons.
One is to attack him and everyone else at The MoldWater so that everyone hates him and everyone around him. I'll explain why when I get to reason three.
Secondly, it is to artificially increase the number of posts per hour. It just plain works. I'll explain why that's important also in reason three.
Thirdly, the Johnny Neptune consortium is tasked with creating more hate and dissension among the userbase. Hate for everyone, including themselves. That's why he calls them vidya-playing anime literal faggots who will never get any pussy, etc.. For WHY? What purpose could all this serve? You see, Jim wants to sell this site and The MoldWater, but finding buyers has been difficult in the past. Potential buyers would like to completely revamp this site and The Moldwater. They don't want (((You))). They want to change out pretty much the entire userbase and attract a whole new kind of crowd – the kind that will fill their pockets with shiny shekels. Jim tried doing that many times himself, but he is not a good businessman. Also, he is a leftist hippie at heart, so all this right wing stuff is just a front to hold onto whatever userbase he has left. Why would he want everyone to hate him and his cohorts? So that no one will be sad; in fact, they will be overjoyed when the new owners step in, even when they make drastic changes that will not only change out most of the entire userbase (already begun and nearly complete long before the sale, and will skyrocket after the sale), but will also provide impetus for changes to The Moldwater, which is just plain shit, so any change at all can only be an improvement, and everyone can agree on that. Also, when the new draconian measures of overt control over what users say and how they are allowed to post become implemented, the userbase (mostly newfags by now) will swallow it all begrudgingly because "at least it's not as bad as when Jim was here!" Even the IDs and captcha after every post will be begrudgingly accepted by the newfag userbase. After all, they are used to signing in everywhere else, creating accounts, etc.. So, don't be surprised if all that comes about too! It's about money. It's always about money. Jim is selling out, just like he always has. He just wishes he could get more for something he stole in the first place. He also has an unhealthy attachment to The MoldWater experiment, which has failed miserably. I'm not even sure it can be revamped! Certainly not withput a name change. Jim has been grasping at straws for awhile, trying everything to no avail. Accepting that he is a failure would be wise. Then he could move on and build from his failures to create some new kind of success; but I don't think he has it in him. He'll continue to try the same old things over and over, hoping for a different outcome. Hopes and wishes, however. are less effective than revamping one's entire way of thinking. I doubt he has it in him to make meaningful positive changes. He has, however, pinned his hopes on the Johnny Neptune consortium, and this may be the only smart thing he has done in years! It may seem like 27-D chess, but there is a method to this madness. More posts per hour are just numbers that Jim sees as making this site more attractive to potential buyers. I see this all coming to a crux soon. Something will have to give. I wonder what it will be? I guess we'll see! I'm only here to watch it all burn down anyway.

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Where can I get one of these cups?

and you actually wonder why people laugh in your face?

He's at hotwheels place in this video. Its called eton emerald lofts. Look them up.

I have been wondering about this for a long time, but now that you have explained it, I finally understand it completely. Thank you for clarifying things for me.

It's funny that you would mention it, because I was meaning to create a thread, asking people if they could tell me the name of the location.

I remember a few months back, somebody (perhaps it was you) showed a Google Maps image and cross-referenced the buildings that could be seen in the background, and actually correctly pinpointed the location.

I just wanted the name of the place so I could use it in an upcoming video presentation I'm working on.

If you have any of the material I just mentioned, like Google Maps or the skyline references, I would certainly appreciate access to it.

isn't that last night's live stream where Diana admits that she didn't know what a dingleberry was until 2 days ago?

also, now I finally understand why there seems to be so many different personality traits associated with this fictitious Johnny Neptune character. I was beginning to think he was multiple personality

The Philippians is a tax haven. That's why Jim is basing 8ch and the Pisswater there while Race Queen Inc. (The parent company) is based in San Francisco. I'm sure he can just write off his losses through clever accounting

Not to mention the fact that the Philippines is home to the only prostitutes on Earth desperate enough to actually climb into bed with Jim Watkins naked.

Reports of Somali and prostitutes being willing to fuck Jim have surfaced recently, but a CNN investigation revealed that the Somali prostitutes all have air sickness bags, so that doesn't count.

Race Queen in San Francisco certainly doesn't have a homo element to it… Nothing about that reminds me of drag

Two minutes in and I'm already cringed out. He is so effeminate and immature, especially around women! He has to be gay, amirite? This is not a man who can control the forces he has unleashed. Pretty soon the Johnny Neptune consortium will be able to step in and buy this site for pennies, then turn it into a Reddit for Radicals. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY would ever consider the MoldWater to have any value at all. He'll have to eat that!
Thanks for the embed. I'll try to stomach more later when I am not so busy. Catch ya in a few hours..

If I ever met you face to face, I would tell you to stop…

"Stop that"

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My apologies. That might've sounded a bit forward and aggressive.

If I met you face to face, I would probably ASK you too stop

stop that

What's going on in this thread?

So this is your big issue? You're a piece of shit leftist that hates Jim's news site because it's right-wing and pro-Trump?