Elvis Presley went to his friend's wedding and pointed a loaded pistol at his head.
Last night, somebody in South Carolina won the Mega Millions Lottery, making them 5 times richer than Donald Trump.
An escalator in Italy went out of control with dozens and dozens of people on it, sending them barrelling downward into a pile at the bottom.
George Klein was a radio personality and one of Elvis' best friends, and during his wedding Elvis showed up and pointed a loaded pistol at Klein's head.
Trump only has $320 million, according to Forbes magazine. The lottery winner has $1.5 billion.
The good news is the injured people on the escalator were all Russians. The better news is they were all soccer fans.
Elvis was high as shit, and George Klein was just as ugly as his bride.
The new billionaire is an uneducated, stupid as fuck white trash piece of shit, exactly like Trump, who was forced to admit that he fabricated his idiotic assertion that there are middle eastern terrorists in the central American 'caravan', and Pence proved that the Democrats have nothing to do with it.
Excellent reporting! Elvis indeed pointed the pistol at Klein's head, and it was loaded, but in all fairness, Elvis didn't have his finger on the trigger.
Everybody knows its perfectly acceptable to point a loaded weapon at someone's head, just as long as your finger isn't on the trigger.
Chase Nelson
The Lottery winner has two choices:
Take the $1.5 billion in installments, meaning he would be 5 times richer than stupid uneducated illiterate moron Donald Trump.
Or take it in one lump sum of $900 million, meaning he would be 3 times richer than stupid uneducated illiterate moron Donald Trump.
Josiah Hall
I was wondering when somebody was finally going to cover this story. From what I understand, Trump's idiotic lies about 'middle eastern terrorists being in the caravan' had nothing to do with Elvis pointing the pistol at Klein.
Caleb Green
Is that adjusted for inflation?
Nathan Mitchell
The fact that Trump only has $320 million goes hand in hand with his claims about middle eastern terrorists and drug cartel people being in the 'caravan'.
Lying is his specialty.
Drug Cartel members have shitloads of money, and would never WALK 1,800 miles, when they can travel in luxury.
The same thing goes for middle eastern terrorists.
Gabriel Myers
the escalator incident happened in Italy, thousands of miles from Graceland
Ryan Sanders
When Elvis put the gun up to George Klein's head, it seemed like a statement about how Trump's confession that he 'lied about the caravan containing middle eastern terrorists' makes all of his rhetoric about Mexicans transparently stupid, and highlights the fact that he used the Mexican angle to distract and feed off the stupidity of his voter base.
Landon Wilson
you're an idiot. Anybody knows that Elvis pulling out the pistol during a wedding was a statement about Mike Pence's comments in the oval office about possible reports that the Honduran government helped 'fund the caravan', which is absurd because the 'caravan' obviously didn't cost a fucking penny.
And George Klein's smile while having the gun pointed at his head was an apparent statement about how funny it was that Trump interrupted Pence to ask if 'maybe the Democrats' funded the 'caravan'.
Thomas Green
Nope. The pointing of the gun was a statement about the escalator, being a metaphor for not having a choice in the matter when gravity and faulty mechanics are in play.
Meanwhile, the Russian soccer fans were making their own statement, falling down the escalator as a metaphor for the uncontrollable downward spiral Trump has put himself into with his stupid transparent lies and idiotic business decisions, which explains why he lies about being a billionaire.
Lincoln Gutierrez
Trump is lying because all Cartel members have "shitloads" of money and would never walk?
He is also lying because Middle Eastern terrorists travel in "luxury" as well?
The argument is founded on the fallacy of division by assuming all Cartel and terrorists are luxurious and would never join the caravan.
While I agree with you that Trump refused to disclose his tax returns specifically to hide the fact that he's not really a billionaire, I disagree with you about him being a homosexual.
Sure, Melania resembles a transvestite, but that doesn't make him gay, at least not necessarily.
Oliver Brown
I bet Elvis banged that dude's wife.
Levi Parker
This is a very informative and useful news article. I am impressed. There have been a few good ones today. One of my favorites though, I'm heading off to bump now..
Elijah Hughes
nope. Elvis loved George Klein like a brother, but he hated George's wife's guts. He used to tell George that his wife was ugly, and he hooked George up with hot women all the time.
When that photo was taken, Elvis was fucking the actress Ann Margret.
Anthony Wilson
Lol thankyou
Elijah Sanchez
Oh, so Elvis was showing his disapproval of the marriage. Huh.
Aaron Bennett
This one is also still good..
Luke Young
In all honesty, probably yes and no.
He was crazy as fuck, always cutting up and doing wild antics and extreme jokes, so it wasn't out of character for him to behave like this
(as you can tell by the expressions on their two faces as Elvis Points the weapon)
But also YES……
Thomas Miller
HA!!…..
schweeeeet
Justin Nguyen
One thing I know for sure:
Elvis was fucking cool as shit
Nathan Richardson
Sliding, Sliding, Sliding.. When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide… And I do it again!