I have been thinking about this for some time, and i'm a bit worried about my relationship with my girlfriend. I'm 17 and shes 14, we're going well and we love each other very much. She is a christian, prays the Lord's prayer and that short marian one, so i think she's catholic, but neither her or her parents go to church ( neither do i ). But what i'm worried about is our lust ( since we inevitably kiss and touch each other ) , we've done some lustful things in the past ( not sex ) but we've toned it down. Another thing that worries me is her stance on abortion. Although she would never do it herself, she thinks women have the right to abort in the cases of rape or condom failure. I know it's an erroneous position, but i don't know how to really tell her without me looking like a bigot who cant accept other's views. We both have agreed to have sex only later. I just want her to go to heaven. I plan on marrying her in the future, if everything ( God willing ) works out. Please pray for both of us!
I was hesitant to make this thread here, because of the relationships thread that already exists ( but only one person responded me ) and i was worried that people would tell me to leave her, and i can't do that, i love her and i want her to be my wife.
Yeah..i hope i can correct this erroneous position and hopefully teach her more about our religion ( i don't think she has been cathechized properly )
Isaac Russell
My first advise is slow down. Depending on your laws, you probably have 4 years before marriage is possible.
Your desire for her to enter heaven is a good one, but you also need to work on that point. A man should lead regardless if others follow. So be a leader. Pray with her. Take her to church (on a date). Get active in the church's community together. Enjoy your youth.
Work on your friendship more than the intimate relationship. Remain chaste so you can enter into a covenant relationship with a clear conscience.
Stop thinking about what you want, and focus on what is best for her.
You will be fine if you do what is right for BOTH her and God.
Connor Campbell
Alright. Thanks for the advice, God bless!
William Diaz
Stop all intimate actions. You are defiling a virgin and neither God nor her father have given you bodily rights over her. You are not allowed to kiss or touch until you are married.
Elijah Wright
I can't do that. If we stop touching, i'm pretty sure she will be very hurt and angry. If we stop kissing, it will be even worse, she will not accept it and i'll lose her forever. You can't expect me to maintain a relationship like this for 4 years.
Brody King
Go to church. Talk to a priest about all of this.
Christopher Phillips
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Parker Brown
No it isn't. Neither is holding hands. Exercise self-control and don't have sex before marriage, and all will be fine.
Samuel Martinez
It's fine to kiss her but go no further. Avoid being all alone with her at your/her place. Also tell her what the Catholic Church really says about baby murder and while on it educate her on chastity and marriage but in a soft way not to make her feel uncomfortable with it.
Elijah Taylor
14 y.o. thot is asking for it.
Give her thy precious seed.
If not then keep thy bird caged up and dump the young thot.
Just ask the thot’s hand in marriage in 4 years.
Until then go to a vocational program to be a man with self sufficiency.
Evan Harris
Lol
Camden Bennett
Shameful.
Jordan Watson
In OP's defence people used to marry younger than OP back then soo its not odd that he can love a girl at that age. The problem here imo is the age difference between the two of them. I wouldn't risk my ass being caught by the cops, even though in my country (in Europe) the legal age is 14. Still I'd be careful.
Xavier Richardson
That is why they should keep it in their pants until marriage. Kissing will not be considered a crime by any government, so that is the upper limit that they should allow themselves until they DO get married.
William Collins
I would agree w/ the other posters. Think of the long game.
If u are 17, your body and brain have not fully developsd yet.
If she's 14, the same, though women physiologically mature faster than men
Think of social norms. This ain't the cowboy days and ur not being forced into a shotgun wedding.
Think of the law. 16 or 18 is the youngest one is legally allowed to marry in most states.
How are u going to support a family?
Getting married is good. Having a plan is good. Waiting is good.
Have u prayed about it?
Do u have a way of support?
If u ever want to run for office, u need to be squeaky clean.
Pray. Follow the rules. U'll be ok.
Gavin Wilson
Explain to her the necessity of it and that it offends God. She doesn't respect you because you have no self control. If you can't court without intimate contact then you shouldn't get married as you will not be suited
Kevin Thompson
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Landon Peterson
Thanks for all the advice anons! I'll practice more self control, pray with her and try to go to church. In my country the age of consent is 14, so there's no legal problem involved. The only problem that is bothering me is her stance on abortion. She doenst seem to think that it's child murder. I hope i can talk to her about it and convince her. The problem isn't the arguments, because she has very little understading of abortion. My problem is actually convicing without her thinking i'm imposing my views on her. Pray for us.
She does respect me, i'm sure of that. But the thing is that if we stop kissing, she'll just say for us to become friends. I'll just try to practice self control, because never kissing is out of the picture.
I think going to hell is more threatening than going to jail tbh.
Parker Cooper
There's no problem in normal kissing. What you shouldn't do is get carried away and stick your tongue into her throat while groping her and those shit that eventually will lead you to lust and worse, fornication.
Caleb Fisher
People who are scared of losing their "girlfriend" if they stop kissing are effeminate degenerates. It's probably a good thing if she wants to end the courtship anyway seeing as she wants to murder babies
Joshua Cox
Also if she respected you she would conform her views of abortion to yours and the truth. And she would not leave you if you refused to be intimate until marriage. However it is evident that she does not respect you because you are effeminate and have no self control and are desperate to keep her entertained that you willingly sin. No woman respects that even if they pretend to
Jaxon Richardson
She is 14 year old girl. She is easily influenced by the outside world
Adam Nelson
I reflected upon your posts and you're right, i have to change my behavior. I will stop being so lustful and start having more self-control. And if she doens't like that, she doesn't truly love me or respect me. I'll focus more on our friendship than in our intimacy. I think she respects me, but the problem is that i've been too soft on this issue. I'll start to say that abortion is infanticide, and that supporting it is supporting child murder. From now on, i will be more of a man. Thanks for calling me out.
Brody Walker
t. female boomers That mind set is part of the reason why modern Christians are weak limp wristed faggots. Leave this place and stop shitting it up. Feminism has clearly rotten your weak boomer minds to a point where it cannot be fixed. >>>/reddit/
Isaac Kelly
OP you should do this.
Jackson Harris
Deo gratias, it is my obligation and incredibly pleasing to see a young man take the path of justice!
Now moving forward: if you show any backbone and do not waver under the inevitable tests she throws you then she will respect you and probably conform her views to yours. Remember courtship is about guaging if this person has sufficient virtue to be your wife and this should only take 3 months to figure out. If marriage laws allow it I recommend getting married as soon as you have discerned. By the age of 18 you should be mature enough to be married and start a family
Sebastian James
Why would you date a 14-year-old girl? Teenage girls are annoying and stupid.
