A Kentucky man who wishes to remain anonymous woke to a surprise late in the morning on the 27th of December of this year, rapidly rushing into the bathroom to see what package Santa had forgotten to deliver.
When he arrived upon the toilet, said man was shocked to discover the depth of fashionably late Christmas spirit that had poured out of him, like a tall, proud pine tree growing dozens of feet tall out of the earth.
"I have never seen anything like it. Due to this epiphany, I have decided that I'm going to give up my crack addiction and look for a real job at the Goldwater news agency. I've found a godlike figure in my life, finally." said Johnny Neptune, our modern art and social studies correspondent here at the EcoleEYE news network.
Well, it's not a true Chinese restaurant, at least not the type on accustomed to… This is a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet my friend and I go to when we leave the Narcotics Anonymous meetings…
I had to go back into the New China Buffet and go into the mensroom, but by the time i had done that, some of the original gem had smeared between my buttcheeks from walking.
nevertheless, i was able to retrieve the mysterious anomaly
imagine going to all this effort when people don't even really browse this board flat, they come straight from the main site page and never even usually see this anyway and a definitely only more motivated to access the board that way anyway after pulling a stunt like this
Isaiah Jackson
My roommate won’t even microwave me some defo dogs. I have bad anemia, but there’s a new ASMR video.
I think you might be hinting at self-mastery. This is a bunch of cunts on youtube using their powers of seduction and waning beauty to give people the vapors for patreon donations. “Oops, I farted. Great video!”
Giuliani, Juliani, whatever. I’ve seen the bitch in drag.
Logan Campbell
yep
Michael Sullivan
I wonder if he’s been on the Express. I never looked into it.
Dylan Cooper
Hes definitely gay… absolutely
Daniel Bailey
So really more of a “fondle you on the subway” sort of guy. Everyone on that stage has got some kinda kink. Me, I’m into deformed hotdogs in lieu of the steak I was promised.
