This crab could save your life - if humans don't wipe it out first

Peeps in the world are aware their wellbeing may one day depend on a blue-blooded crab that looks like a cross between the facehugger from Alien and a gigantic louse. Fewer still realise this ancient creature now faces its greatest threat in more than 450m years.

The American horseshoe crab outlived the dinosaurs and has survived four previous mass extinctions, but is now menaced by the pharmaceutical industry, fishing communities, habitat loss, climate change and, most recently, choking tides of red algae off the east coast of the United States.

Abundant three decades ago, this living fossil, which is actually more closely related to spiders than crabs, was put on the vulnerable list by the International Union for the Conservation of Nature in 2016. Scientists say the crab’s decline symbolises the huge economic and health costs of biodiversity loss worldwide.

This will be underscored by a UN report this month that will show humanity is running down the natural capital of the Earth at a “startling” rate. Since 1992, more than 30% of the planet’s ecological wealth – the estimated value of species, forests, rivers and soil – has been lost, with profound consequences not just for conservation but for the health and wellbeing of hundreds of millions of people.

To address this, many wildlife campaigns focus on pandas, tigers and other cute megafauna, but the biggest economic damage is being done to less charismatic species such as insects, worms, plants, fish and crabs.

The copper-based blood of the horseshoe crab is used to make the most sensitive indicator of bacteria ever discovered, limulus amoebocyte lysate. The lysate is vital to identifying contaminants in medical equipment before surgical operations, pacemaker fittings and many vaccinations.
theguardian.com/environment/2018/nov/03/horseshoe-crab-population-at-risk-blood-big-pharma

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twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Crabs

And there's the narrative payload. Surprised they didn't just say 'Trump'.
fuck off grauniad

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Trump wants to kill crabs that will save us

Dirty needles?

Niggers get reincarnated into these.

Tell it to China and Africa then, you get zero further attention from us until you've convinced them to stop dumping garbage trucks into rivers.

Who could have foreseen this series of events?

I cant even get my boomer parents to stop using plastic bags, you think some industrialist kike gives a shit about this crab compared to hoarding shekels earned from dumping toxic waste? FTW

a synthetic substitute to their blood was VERY recently invented. look it up.

Deep state is real

youtube.com/watch?v=r_YnW9CLB0M

Just post the link you cock.

gay

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no you are

I love horseshoe crabs.

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Even if he couldn't see he could still tell is wasn't a dog when he touched it. Right?

he was missing his hand glasses

8ch.net/zoo/catalog.html ←– asshole is sliding news

I've always thought they were kinda cute for bugs. But then, I'm a white person.

predates the dinosaurs, has survived climates harsher than this yet todays climate change is its downfall

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love Your sense of humor.
Sense of Humor.

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Is right. Fecking degenerate subs!

Kill yourself.

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bump

GO HERE FOR NEWS:
8ch.net/n/catalog.html
THE ASSHOLE IS SIDING NEWS AGAIN!
8ch.net/n/catalog.html

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Can I get one as a pet?

nothing is more harsher than the human scourge

I have 3 of them

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"peeps"
Well, that's alot of cancer.

Trips confirm it.

Can we eat that?

Did you MIGA niggers even read the entire thing or is there a feature in your programming where if you find keywords with negative connotation you simply dismiss it like the /a/ tranny vols

You sound like a cultural marxist communist freedom hating terrorist.

And you sound like an IRL meme spouting faggot.

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Oh!
Is it already National Chocolate Cake Day again?

Yes.

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It's not a fucking crab. It's an arachnid.

You can still make Cakes out of 'em..
🦀Crab Cakes!🦀

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Your cake needs a candle.

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OK. How about two?

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Mod here.
Traced your IP.
Hmmm…
domainbigdata.com/snib.in

I could've saved your life.

Here ya go, Grandpa…
It's your birthday. Now go celebrate.
Fuck Zig Forums. Be a crab. Let them eat cake.

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You could bet, oh, dollars to crabcakes that the harebrained scheme was never going to work. But it did

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CRAB CAKES

1 pound crabmeat
1/2 cup dry bread crumbs
1 egg, beaten
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
1 teaspoon prepared Dijon-style mustard
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon of some good fuckin' seasoning
2 tablespoons butter

In a medium size bowl, combine the bread crumbs and the crab meat. Stir the beaten egg, mayonnaise, mustard, Worcestershire and seasoning.

Lightly mix these ingredients being careful not to overwork the crab meat. Form into 8 round, flat crab cakes.

Heat butter in a skillet over medium heat. Fry the cakes on each side until crusty and golden brown. Serve warm.

Be sure to not forget the candles.
Or the chocolate cake.
It is, after all, National Chocolate Cake Day!

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#MeeToo!

GO HERE FORE REAL NEWS, GOD DAMMIT
8ch.net/n/res/721017.html#733914

No, here!
8ch.net/n/res/721017.html#733915

No thanks.

OP is a faggot.

This article seems like far more "REAL News":

Yeah, but that always goes without saying.

Not always.
I mean, it does not always go without saying. OP is, however, ALWAYS a faggot.
unless OP delivers.
and in this case..
I see no cake.
only pictures of cake

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REAL NEWS CAN BE FOUND HERE
911fonts.com/font-download/download_ImpactRegular_5200.htm

The reason IMPACT is the most effective font ever:

It 's not too wide, so you can fit the maximum amount of letters into any given space, while it's bold as fuck, and can easily be read from a maximum distance.

They don't call it 'impact' for nothing….

Once it is downloaded, extract the file and then paste the unzipped .ttf into your root directory picsart/fonts

When using PicsArt, you can access this font by selecting MY FONTS

REAL NEWS

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Thank you; but I am somewhat concerned that a few crabs may be harmed in the process.

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Jeez!
That's IMPACTFUL!
feels like a chocolate cake shoved up my ass.

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How rude of me… I completely forgot to wish you a happy chocolate cake day

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No. No. That's doctored.
I saw the original.
You asked for 100 dozen donuts, a large coffee, and the owner's left testicle.

Have the pics to prove it at home.
except of the owner's left testicle I neglected to save it. Suffice it to say, his testicle was magnificent.

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the world…

guess what ?…. Im kinda pissed off right now

i can't find any upcoming episodes of TOSH.0
and sorry, but that's some booouhshit, man…

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That's ok.

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I think I may have pissed myself a little..

You might have crabs.

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Nah. Nothin' special.
Just the demodex kind.

medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320159.php

In fact, that reminds me..
I better go shower!

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This thread is not what I wanted to see today.

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"Thats a fucking excellent idea"

or

"Thats sounds like anexcellent idea"

lol i love it

The HiDef version

I read your entire post.
i loke to scout an area before i shit on it

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Nice filtering work

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The least talented, least competent, least qualified piece of shit on earth….

Orson Wells

……what a depressing, uncool old fart……

no offense, but this very well may be THE WORST fucking thread in history

Au contraire mon fraire..
This thread is of the very highest quality.
A fanciful delicacy, really.

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None taken.

I like your version.
Post a .webm please..