I'm worried I have a vocation to priesthood but I just want to get married

I'm worried I have a vocation to priesthood but I just want to get married.
What do? My gf is gonna be heartbroken.

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flip a coin

How long have you been dating your girlfriend? Have you talked about marriage?
God's will wouldn't cause such a rift in your life and relationships. You may just be romanticizing the priesthood and yearning for it, but remember that most people's vocation is marriage. I think that if you were called to the priesthood, you wouldn't have a loving girlfriend to be with.

kek

Not a whole lot of info you've given and online isn't a good place to be figuring this out.

begome :D

If your gf is heartbroken she doesn't love you. If you are called to serve the Lord who is she to ignore that call? Remind her that this world is a test and we all need to focus on the Kingdom. Good luck in your discernment user, the world needs good priests of heroic virtue.

pls dont cut yourself on that edge

Begome ordodogs
Im catholic but in your shoes I would convert without hesitation.
Celibacy isnt even that central to the life of a good priest.

...

I want to say you're right, but this whole thing has started making me question if God's the one who made this relationship happen or if it's all been by my own means. But our relationship is very much centered around God. We even met at a prayer group. But we've only dated since March.
This is possible too. I just feel like I can't trust my ability to hear what God wants from me anymore and I'm losing my mind. I'm seeing my spiritual director tomorrow morning but I don't know what to ask her yet.

Seems like you have two vocations.
Guess which one is easier.

You can have two? Doesn't that mean you should always pick the harder one?

Or maybe, just maybe, one is a vocation and the other a trap from the devil.

I'd stick with marriage since wanting a gf is not a good trait for a priest to have.

To love is to will the good of another and the best good is the kingdom of God, brainlet.
Holy shit religion is just an accessory to you.

Go eastern rite Catholic and marry her. GG no re.

A priest is just a teacher and administrator of the sacraments. Papacy tried to make priests into monks and messed up both in the end.

What does the Bible say about leading a church and having a family?

It sounds like your vocation is marriage, friend. At church today, I had an older fella (my sponsor into the Church) greet me and tell me that, once I'm Catholic, I should enter ministry. I figured he meant the priesthood and (somewhat dickishly) chortled, as despite being single and a virgin all my life, I feel strongly about having a wife and children… I know that's what I'm being called to do, whereas the priesthood does not beckon to me in the slightest.

A priest is a direct successor of the Apostles.


Only if you're someone with an axe to grind against Priests, the Pope, and Celibacy.

This tbh. Let God's physics decide.

Jesus entered Peter’s house and found Peter’s mother-in-law in bed with a fever. He took her by the hand and the fever left her (Mt 8:14-15).
St. Peter himself was married (before becoming an apostle but nevertheless). St. Paul also supports this.
That's not even the point. The point is that this was never an issue in the church if a man is married and then becomes a priest. A monk is a different story obviously, A monk is very different from a priest.

and? the marriages of the Apostles isn't the reason why the Church instituted it; Christ gave the Church canonical authority in Matthew 16:18


It actually did become an issue when clerical celibacy was instituted, the Church grew exceedingly powerful and realized the bishoprics became political pawns; the celibacy was put to curb this. moreover, St. Paul's recommendation and Jesus Christ's celibacy themselves gave the Church more than enough scriptural precedent.

Why do you think you have a vocation for priesthood?
Serious question. I had the same feels, not having gf, but finally realizing my place is in marriage, not celibacy.
Furthermore I heard a sermon about vocation and they said there that God has outlined a few ways…few of them may be harder for you (like if you were for marriage and chose priesthood instead or otherwise..) but that your salvation would not be threatened.

tl dr you should really consider his well before dumping your gf

Yes and being married in a fruitful relationship is the good of another person, unless you argue in bad faith in which case your opinion will be discarded.
Religion IS an accessory. The important thing about christianity is Jesus, His sacrifice & resurrection and the sacraments. All the rest is non-essential to salvation. Given how Orthodoxy provides all that AND allows OP to pursue a marriage along with priesthood, its a clear advantage without any drawbacks.

inb4 pussy is more important to you than Jesus

The requirement to choose either marriage or priesthood is an arbitrary standard set up centuries ago for inheritance reasons, and it was an unintended invitation for homosexuals into the clergy because they could have a respectable excuse for not having
wives.

Being a man of God should not be mutually exclusive with marriage and only catholics fail to realize this foolishness.

t.catholic

You're ipso facto excommunucate, don't stain the faith by calling yourself Catholic.

Okay. Always fall back on Mt. 16:18.
t. sarcasm

Christ says He gave the Keys to Peter quite clearly.


He didn't. The only thing the other Apostles received was the same authority to bind and loosen, later, in Matthew 18.

The other Apostles never received the Keys, nor the Promise that Hell would never prevail. The Church is built upon Cephas, nobody else.

Im a catholic whether you like it or not and priestly celibacy is dumb.
It is an excuse for homos to become priests and as such its responsible for the current crisis in the RCC.
To deny this is willful ignorance and there is no reason at all for a man to be celibate in order for him to fulfill his priestly duties.
Celibacy is fine for monks, but not for priests. For priests simple chastity is sufficient.

More heterosexuals would entet the clergy if the dumb celibacy requirement were to be lifted. It would bring virility to the church and would affirm the importance of family and fatherhood. Men could once again look up to priests as examples to emulate instead of effeminates who preach without understanding.

t.catholic

The Orthodox Church cites that same passage to support their catholicity. There’s no way that Mt.16:18 can be used to support absurdities like Vatican I or Unam Sanctam. You’re going to have to make an actual argument instead of repeating talking points.

If Christ didn’t give the other apostles keys, then they would have no authority to forgive sins or make pronouncements about dogma, which the apostles did. Christ wasn’t saying that they needed to get Peters approval every single time they did something. That doesn’t make any sense and was also logistically impossible in the ancient world.

Do you honestly think if we allow priests to marry it will magically fix the sodomite problem?
Because it really won't. It would only give cover for the abusers and make it harder to spot them out.

Secondly, what happens if the parish isn't a very wealthy parish? The priest has to take up a second job just to support his family. When I was an Easterner, I witnessed my priest take up a job at Starbucks just so he can support his wife and kids. It was reflected in his homilies, which were either lazy or not fullfilling. It's a worldly distraction that holds him back from his true mission to God. When I came home to Rome the homilies were more fullfilling and well thought out.

For the priest is a icon of Christ, and Christ has only one bride His Church. To say that priests ought to get married is to take the Muslim stance that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and not just His Church. Which is polygamy.

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The cases we are talking about are ones where the man is already married and seeks to join the priesthood. He obviously wouldn’t join the priesthood if he didn’t have time for it anyway.
A priest should imitate Christ but ultimately he is just a teacher and it is just a comparison. Deacons are often married.
How long were you Orthodox?

Too long.

Again, one cannot be polygamous and catholic. A man cannot have two brides. If he is already married to a woman he cannot be married to the Church much like an ordained priest is. For one wife will demand more than the other, thus making the other feel neglected.
They also don't have the same duties as a fully ordained priest does.

wew lad

Early in the church there were problems with nepotism in the selection of Bishops and the fact that small parishes can't necessarily afford to support a priest and his family. That is the practical argument… but, in addition, Scripture teaches that celibacy is superior to the married state. What you're arguing here is to undermine the tenets and foundations of the Church for some nebulous notion of posterity. This isn't far removed from the "progress without principle" ethos of your average neo-liberal. Religion is not a mere cultural institution, it is an ideal and it is a path of transcendence for those that reject the zero sum game of earthly material existence. It should not be compromised to accommodate mundane convictions. What most people don't understand about canon law is that any minister, priest or deacon, married or not, is called to clerical continence (that means no sex at all). I believe when the married diaconate was re-allowed back in the middle of the 20th century, deacons were encouraged to be older since there would be no touchy-touchy with the wife. Wives needed to give their consent to this too. The Catholic Church is not Eastern Orthodoxy and there is no reason we should ape their practices. The Eastern Catholics are very similar to Orthodoxy in that they are structured around ethnic groups, the liturgy is in that ethnic group's language and the majority of the congregation is of that ethnicity. There is far more trust there. The last thing the Church needs to do right now is give in to the modern idea that sex is paramount. There is also the issue that many parishes are in debt and can barely afford to run themselves, much less support the priest's family. It also prevents dilettantish curate-types from becoming priests, which appears to be on balance a good thing. If you want to look at why the protestant denominations have become so trashy and diluted, this looks like just another point. The priesthood is regarded as an incredibly serious vocation. It's not to be divided among other pursuits; a priest with a wife is as self-contradictory as a priest running a Fortune 500 company or hosting a talk show. It has always been a vocation for men willing to devote themselves to it completely. The progression of gays through the ranks, in my opinion, had little to do with the marriage prohibition, and is a fairly recent trend that picked up speed with the dissolving of moral restraint mid-century. The decline in men pursuing the priesthood had more to do with changes in family structure, the centrality of religious life, and the rise of consumerism and mass society. If the marriage prohibition didn't cause it, then abolishing the prohibition won't fix it.

What the winnie the pooh?

Bumping this thread, because I can deeply relate with the OP. I have a gf aswell and I basically don't know where I'm called. We live around 2 hours apart and we didn't had the occasion to meet a lot during Lent and even before, I just focused on my spiritual life and picked up some habits like mass everyday, 1 hour of adoration a day, try to do the Little Office etc. and remarks arised, from my gf mouth and her mom's, that I should consider maybe a religious vocation if I'm so involved in my spiritual life.
It's true I don't take any pleasure in doing wordly things like studying, getting a car and finding a job, but all of this, I do it to assure us a nice future, but if she wasn't here, I probably would have dropped everything anyway. I don't like to discuss politics, religious controversies about the situation in the Catholic Church etc, I don't have much hobbies, much interest, I just think if something doesn't have God as an end, it's useless. I really just like to go to church, to read religious books and pray, I don't have much ambition like getting money and being a bit low on it wouldn't bother me at all.
Before I met her, I had real doubts as to what I'm called, but then I prayed for a sign, and I met her, a sweet devout catholic girl. Now everyone is suffering, me because I don't know what God wants me to do, her, because it's not an easy situation.
I know being a Saint is the most important thing in life down there, and living your faith to the fullest and carrying your cross. It just seems hard to attain the heights of sainthood by just having a sweet little comfy life sitting on the couch. I feel obviously attracted to the idea of suffering with Christ in Christ for Christ by living in a monastery but at the same time.. Why would I have such a good gf, such a ideal situation? I of course love her and wish I could have such a comfy life and kids and all but sometimes it feels like it's not my thing, she even told me she could picture me more as a brother/monk than a husband, or that when I talk to her about religion, I sound like a priest and not a bf.
I don't know whether I'm under the influences of saintly lifes and blinded by romanced version of religious vocation , whether it's just fleeing my responsibility, whether it's the demon.
I talked about it with my spiritual director and he told me that feeling drawn to marriage when I'm around her may be human emotions, that I should seriously consider it, that God may have talked through her and her mom.

Whoops! I guess you better go tell that to all the Eastern Catholic priests who have wives, then! As well as informing the Vatican that all of its present doctrine about the treatment of the Eastern churches is incorrect!

I think I’ve found your problem.