MUH MUH TAINT IS CLEAN

>MUH MUH TAINT IS CLEAN

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I hate these fucking bears but Charmin is like the only toilet paper I like using, everything else feels like razors on my asshole.

>MY ASSHOLE'S CLEAN

These commercials don't tell me I need to use Charmin...they tell me I need to go out into the woods and screw some lady bears, with rolls of toilet paper as a lure.

i hate toilet paper, I always end up fisting my asshole till it prolapses and squeeze my shit out like toothpaste so it never gets on my buttcheeks. hurts like hell but it works

A bidet would be more practical.

Scott tissue isn't bad.

bidets don't exist in most amerigger bathrooms though, so my method is the best portable option, no tp required just high pain tolerance and hand washing.

Scott is okay but there's like basically none on the roll, it's not cost effective :I

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>most Americans don't know how to wipe their ass properly
>tfw a lot sleep naked or with only underwear
Apparently American parents don't teach kids to wipe right, that's why shit like this commercial exists.

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>We've always been an Asgardian

have you tried Great Value?

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>Thousands of beautiful trees were killed and then turned into bits of paper so you can smear them with your turds.

>the closest thing to charmin

and flushed right into the ocean, god bless america

>Scott tissue isn't bad.
If you have a sweaty ass,
Scott tissue can break down before you’ve finished the first wipe.
So it can be fine for winter, but completely crappy for summer.
Also, It’s thin.
Charmin Essentials Strong is a single ply without these issues, but still single ply.

So, uh, you all do make sure to thoroughly clean your assholes when you're showering, right?

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>not pooping before you shower

Sally, get some extra toilet paper we're having Indian food tonight

>not pooping in the shower then ramming the turds down the drain with your foot

A fellow waffle stomper.

What's wrong with sleeping in underwear?

Fat women do this because their bodies are so large and bulky that they cannot wipe as well as thinner women, so to make sure their assholes are clean they will shit in the shower and wash their asses immediately.

Of course, when I say "fat women" in this instance I'm not talking about your garden variety 200-or-so pound big girl. I'm talking about the real behemoths, the 400+ pound landwhales.

you'd be surprised how many people don't scrub their asshole and private parts, especially women

Why do you specify women?

Get help user

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Wait, washing your crack isn't that common? I'm not the cleanest person in the world but even I have a personal scrubber that I use to cleanse my cornhole with

It's cringe but it's fun cringe.

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What kind of gross animal would clean their asshole in the shower? That's what the toilet paper's for.

Do you seriously not appreciate that soap and water will necessarily get your dirty, shit-stained asshole more clean than just wiping it with toilet paper? That's why you do it. Obviously you can't shower every time you take a shit, but when you're actually in the shower, once or twice a day, why wouldn't you wash your anus?

Is this why so many people literally smell like shit when you get up close to them? Is cleaning down there really not that common?

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