>Superman flying through Metropolis on night spots a tubby, balding man on top of a sky scraper standing on the ledge smoking a cigarette with a sad look on his face >supes flies over to help the poor guy out and to talk him out of committing suicide Oh. I'm not here to kill myself. I'm just getting an eyeful of this universe before it is gone. >through a long back and forth the man explains he is the most powerful being in the multiverse by a ridiculous margin. He has a counterpart that is a distant second to him in power but other than himself nothing can stand against him. >the resulting battles they had when they were young broke whatever universe they inhabited. Neither wanted that outcome. He is content to live in a universe, the other seeks to conquer it. >a deal was reached. If he has a direct connection to the universe, the other isn't allowed to interfere with it. If he doesn't, the other is free to do as he will. >he has spent eons going to universe after universe, gaining a spouse in each one and having children. He left at the death of his wife but as long as his wife or progeny existed, the universe was safe from conquest. >this is the first universe where he was rebuffed by every super being he approached who would have made a good potential spouse >the tale ends with the arrival of the other.
So, what super heroine or super villainess would've been cool with a total slob of a human for boyfriend material?
Look man, Superman isn't Ken Masters, okay. Does he LOOK blonde to you?
Julian Morgan
That's exactly what Ken Masters would say
Bentley Wood
Amazingly, I can find a lot who would fuck a literal gorilla, but am not finding any who would even entertain the concept of being with a fat, balding guy.
Lincoln Brown
It would be funny if that was the next crisis event
Owen Baker
Is it?
William Cook
Agreed. This is like those "bad DM" threads on /tg/. Where some edgelord retard thinks his edgy anime inspired fanfic is Tolkien tier and people should thank him for letting other people see it
Caleb Reyes
>If you are more powerful than the other, why not destroy him? Amusing that you of all people would opt for destruction, Man of Steel. To put it simply, the multiverse demands a counterpart to all things. I could destroy him, yes, but what replaces him might be worse. At least this being honors his word. >You could fight him anyway. Then the universe is destroyed and not saved anyway. Also, if he honors his word, I should honor mine to ensure some universes survive. >Does he have any weaknesses? None. >Why would he conquer universes? Surely the concept of a despot isn't unfamiliar to you. The act of breaking the will of a universe is enrapturous to him. Like a child with a new toy. How he plays with it is up to his imagination.
Cameron Powell
Is it edgy?
Matthew Carter
Have you tried Tinder?
Hunter Cooper
I'm happily married.
Cooper Jackson
>Why did you only try to have a relationship with super powered beings?
The resulting offspring from our union would be incredibly powerful. By having a mother with, as you would word it, 'metahuman' DNA, it allows for an explanation as to why our children would have powers. I would be free to live a relatively mundane existence.
>why would you live such an existence? As if you don't long for such a life. To be blunt, I like what the creatures of a universe create. The cultures, religion, art, music, stories, games, and more. I even have an appreciation for the darker side of the universe, the weapons of war, the villains to overcome, etc. The whole tapestry of life both good and bad. Should I be known for what i truly am, the universe would look to me to solve its problems and become stagnant. Have you ever wondered how much humanity would have advanced to counter the threats you have thwarted over the years? Maybe some, maybe a lot, but a definite growth would have occurred.
Xavier Bell
The real question is, would HE fuck a literal gorilla?
I will leave you to your strange and seemingly very personal character creation.
Easton Rivera
>The other approaches Hey there, Tubby. Finally got turned down, huh? That's what happens when you go to a universe where creatures have eyes. So, who is the bundle of muscles in the tights? >I'm Super I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, WORM. >the other casually tips off Superman's left arm His name is Superman. A deal's a deal. Enjoy your universe, but you really should at least sample the cuisine and music.
Of course you would mention eating, fat ass. Now leave.
>through his pain, Superman watches as the balding man fades from view.
Lincoln Thomas
Yup.
Josiah Fisher
>The other is staring up at the stars muttering to himself
New Gods? How pretentious. Guardians? Buncha blue skinned water heads. Nekron? What a try hard faggot. Endless? Well, Death is a cutie, but they seem kinda boring. Power Rings? Uh oh, they might hit me with care bear stare. Heh.
Where to start? Where to start?
Logan Cox
Then fuck off newfag
Wyatt Carter
No chance, fudgepacker.
Xavier King
Well, don't keep us waiting.
Aaron Hughes
The Presence? What the hell is that? Omnipotence? Omnipresence? Bullshit. Someone is awfully full of themselves.
>the other looks down at the crippled Superman with a smile on his face.
I'm curious. What will happen when he no longer exists. Let's find out, huh?
>the other then fades away
John Cook
>Thunder peals >lightning crashes >the Earth rumbles >a multitude of screams can be heard from an unseen location >the stars. They start to go out.
Adam Sanders
>the other reappears in front of Superman. He is twirling a small, light blue hat on his right index finger.
Hard to destroy a multiversal concept completely, it seems. The version of it on this plane of existence was easy enough to vanquish, and a little will in the right place kept it all from falling apart, but I got a feeling that guy is still kicking in other universes. Really annoying, those things.
Are you STILL bleeding? How fragile ARE the creatures in this universe that a simple lost limb would be so problematic for them? Here.
>with a wave of his hand, the other restores Superman's severed arm.
I'm to understand you are a symbol of hope. Outright killing you would be a waste. Breaking your will in front of the world would be much more ideal.
I think I will save this world for last though. Let it stew in the terror that is to come. For now, i really hate cops, so I'm gonna go break all those silly rainbow rings.
You wait your turn, little boy blue.
Leo Smith
Long story short, universe is conquered. New Gods are killed off. Amazons are used as breeding stock. Superman is an eternal whipping boy. And other horrors continuing for eternity because nothing but YASS Queens and dykes exist in comics now.
Juan Peterson
I hope this helped you relieve some stress.
Ayden Nguyen
Not really. Got a headache, bored, and just felt like fucking about with concept of a ridiculously over powered being that looks like Rodney Dangerfield and also gets no respect because he doesn't look like a super hero.
Joshua Watson
It was fun, but I think the big thing about a character like that is seeing what they can do and why they do it. The motivations the familiar and the other had were both sort of weak, and the ultimate resolution doesn't make sense (did killing the Presence lead to the introduction of minority characters to DC comics? Or was the other overwhelmed by the writer?). So there is definitely room for improvement!
Charles Lewis
Yeah, just me kinda spitballing shit at 6 in the morning with a pounding headache. Not my best creative work, but thanks for the input.
