To distract us from the homoerotic nature of this men's only board...

Must've been one of them male lesbians I've been hearing about

I would never kiss and tell!

I find people getting humiliated and straight up bullied to a cartoonishly ridiculous degree somewhat arousing.

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Nice sandwich, nerd. Did your mommy make that for you?

No she died of throat cancer a week ago

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I made myself develop a bullying fetish to endure the bullying in school.

God I want JK's bulge to land on my face.

held a girl's hand once

I had a girl obsessed with me in primary school. Like she would kiss me randomly and gaze at me with a smile. And she talked to me often about sport and things when everyone else thought I was weird. I was too much of a autist to at least kiss her back. I've seen her around and she's still cute. Not hot, cute. I could've had the tomboy of guys. I coulda... And I was noticeably fat in school as well. Like wtf.

tomboy *gf, guys

>mens only board

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When I was in preschool, an older kid at the daycare I went to (they had kids as old as ten) made me and a girl my age open-mouth kiss in the closet. It was weird.

One time my babysitter hit her head on the counter and went limp. Had my conquest then called 911 like my parents taught me. Had tendies and ice cream that night as reward. I remember Ren and Stimpy being in the background.

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uhh... sorry to hear, really.

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So I fucked this uh...lady's ass...and jerked off her cock?

Based

Used to fuck two italian chicks who hated eachother, knew of eachother, and lived on opposite sides of town.
>One had blue eyes and black hair with pale skin, was a lil chubby and short
>The other had hazel eyes, blonde hair and tan skin. Petit build but tall
>but otherwise they looked exactly the same.
I spent two years cheating on one with the other and then switching the cheating on the other with the one. Then back again.
>Was a good time
I also once accidentally started a coven of self-identified witches because I spent a whole summer sleeping with goth chicks and telling them all about it. I introduced a few of them to eachother and they got to talking.
>Now I have an angry coven of 12 witches that I slept with who hate me

I received a blowjob in 2001, and two handjobs in 2002.
That's my entire sexual history.

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>Now I have an angry coven of 12 witches that I slept with who hate me
You’d best get some salt and iron bars on those windows, son. Or call Italian gfs and have their Christian family ties call in a priest to disband the cult, culminating in a final battle where you all manage to banish the demon they were worshipping in exchange for their unholy powers. You will then be forced to make the decision about which of the remaining two girls you want to settle down with, dun dun dunnnnnn

Ok check this out. Once, in 6th grade I had a huge Femdom fetish. I was really into these 3 Somali girls. Sometimes, I fantasized about the 3 of them dominating me in a session. Sometimes, I would just blank out and look in awe about how cute they were. Unfortunately, 3 of them were too bitchy and the wrong religion, so I tried making out with a mixed race girl in 7th grade instead

Currently living with the blonde one.
Also the italians are witches.

Me and the 3 boys were hanging out with a girl. Two of them confessed to her and she starts dating the third one. Then i called her to watch a movie at my place and i boned her