Even Doug Walker is confused on how the hell these two are so thin when they eat so damn much

Sad knowing this will probably be the last one, that NC comment was like déjà vu, I immediately thought of these when he brought it up.

Nostalgic almost. Remember the early ones with the blatant title, just “Fat Daria Thread II”?

I would say fatfags deserve the route, but it'd probably snap.

Doug’s sanity or the floor?

Zig Forums is epic for Fat Threads.

youtube.com/watch?v=3tYPzSGVHOc

WTF....a fat Daria thread.....that isn’t just art spam or complaints, has a somewhat reasonable excuse for existing, is something resembling subtle, waited a while to come out. and is doing decent?

Jesus all we need is some greentexts and it’s a proper party

Yes. Pray it stays up for great justice.

They're both teenagers with high metabolisms. It ain't that hard.

Been on the threads since the second one, we had a few greentexts in the second mostly reposts, and a long multipart one in either the 4th or 5th thread involving Li trying to bombard them with junk food.

If you want MY suggestion, I have two.

1. Instead of driving people away by dressing boring and flat, being quiet, and being a cynical asshole if people get close, what if Daria through some set of circumstances(maybe something happened in Highland) instead decided the best way to drive people away was to get fat, become as hygienic and slobby as possible, and...well still dress ugly and be an asshole.

2. Daria gets a little pudge from all the pizza, and has a internal crisis like she did in the contacts episode, being the twig is part of her identity, but she can’t give up pizza.

Also repost the old greentexts that’s fjne

Don't forget that Jane canonically runs cross country, just for fun. It makes total sense that she's skinny even if she eats a lot.

But Daria makes more sense as a big girl since, as far as we know, she never gets any exercise.

>Is Doug Walker the Fat Daria Thread Guy?

Holy fuck. This would make way too much sense. The level of autism FDT Guy displays perfectly matches Doug's place on the spectrum. Also their mutual tendency to beat a point into the ground.

Attached: 1559120895543.png (228x258, 53.19K)

Very strange how out of all the shows, when, in a totally non Daria related context, DARIA is the first thing to pop into his mind as "Characters who should probably look fat with how much they eat", and he uses nearly the same wording thread guy did.

SOMEONE MAKE A VERSION OF THE ARCHITECT MEME EXCEPT DOUG WALKER AND THE SCREENS ARE DARIA STUFFED! THIS MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE

"Eslobsters" and "Through a Button, Widely"

I like it.

WRITE FAGS!

>Doug's fat Daria fetish is the real reason Lindsay Ellis left Channel Awesome

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what route

And that lines up with her leaving her prime....god, all the pieces fit.

Yes. Brosnan deserves to go on a vacation with his whale for a while, and we need a new way to mock Doug, so.....I'm all in favor of making "Doug Walker is secretly the Fat Daria Thread Guy" a meme if you lads are

REPOST OF GREENTEXT FROM THREAD IV
-----------------------
What if Principal Li made this work by handing out better grades for drinking the cola?
Daria and Jane watching in frustration as the honor roll fills up with plumper classmates doing nothing but drinking cola to subsidize all their grades.
Eventually other sponsors want in and the school has snack food vendors by every soda machine, fast food restaurants directly opened up in the cafeteria, even special permits for the pretzel and cinna-bun vendors you see in a mall allowed to operate in the halls and classrooms of the school. Everyone is porking out like crazy while earning enough school credit to put Daria, Jane, and Jodie in the lower percentile of grades.
School announcements done via closed circuit TV now have ads that play throughout as well as reminders to students to belly up to the nearest sponsor (even some weird hypnotic flashes that happen randomly). School bells replaced by chimes that play advert jingles. Every thing in the school up for bids, lesson plans, school colors, school mascot, even naming rights to things like clubs and after school programs.

Daria and the others have to choose between chowing down to keep their grades at the top or ending up being ranked as the dumbest students in the school.
That is assuming all the aggressive advertising and peer pressure hasn't already gotten them hooked too.

Even with the schools grades at an all time high the students might actually be dumber than ever. Nothing but junk food and empty calories fueling their minds no one can focus. Sugar rush during free periods lead to crashes and naps during class which just means more junk food to keep their grades up. Students even skip classes to stay in the cafeteria or at the library's new cotton candy and funnel cake vendor just chowing down. They're allowed to eat as much as they want and it's actually better for their grades.
Meanwhile Li is starting a new school uniform policy well aware how fast students will be forced to buy bigger sizes from the school over and over. Even providing coin operated mobility scooters for their "highest achievers"

Maybe Daria, Jane, and Jodie refuse out of principal to participate in the grade fixing but it's a huge workload to squeeze out a few extra GPA points to stay on par with their swollen classmates. Principal Li even throw them a few extra spiteful hurtles for being her "dumbest" students. It would be so much easier to just give in and eat their way to perfect grades...

I remember being a fan of Daria while it was playing on "The N" and reading parody fan fiction that put the characters of Daria into the story of things like Star Wars or LOTR. I never in a million years thought I'd see fat fetish Daria fan fiction.

Jane is the first to 'give in", but she only occasionally eats a small amount, just enough for that and her smarts to pull her out of the bottom 5.
Jodie gives in next, but since she's not active she gets a bit of chub.
They stay like that for a while, but Jodie gradually gives in due to the massive stress of all her other activitys and school duties, and blimps out until she's one of the larger girls.
This prompts Jane(who had gotten slightly pudgy over time, not much) to rapidly give in and also start blimping.
Daria can't hold out much longer
----------------------------------------------

Daria never experienced anything as skin chilling as seeing her sister bring home a better report card than her. Even if their mom was worried about Quinn's weight she actually suggested Quinn could tutor Daria to get a 4.0 as well. The gut punch almost sent Daria right into Li's clutches but she stayed strong, she fought off the demons. But she knows the danger she faces, Both Jodie and Jane have been stressed out too from all the extra credit work, and Jane is even starting to hum some of those catchy ad jingles while studying. Damn those things are easy to get stuck in your head. Daria suspects she might be falling under the sway of some subliminal messaging.
But then comes the terror of coming into class one morning and seeing Jodie stuffing herself with cheeseburgers, her blouse already near bursting with soft flesh. Jodie finally pushed over the tipping point had surrendered to the junk food, she actually looks so much more relaxed now...

And then there's Jane who more than once has made that same "Hey, maybe we should just call it quits and stuff our mouths rather than our minds to get into a good college" joke at least three times without laughing, just pausing to see Daria's reaction. Daria is sure she's seen Jane using empty candy wrappers as book marks and going to the bathroom for an unusually long time only to return with crumbs on her shirt.

Jane's "Hide, Eat, and Run" strategy had kept her gain under 5 pounds for quite some time.
But, her already somewhat crappy diet, when supplented with such a sudden sugar spike, is going to start drying up her running energy, leaving her less able to run. And the ever moving bellcurve might push her to eat a little more, further sapping away her energy from having to digest all that

Meanwhile Jodie is slowly falling into the fat girl mindset. It's so easy now, she just does her normal homework and eats at the food court 4 times a day with a few breaks at the soda machine and she is ivy league guaranteed! I mean, if she does her homework, she can always skip it in exchange for a basket of churros and a bucket of fried chicken tomorrow, the school has some really good fried chicken....
Plus it frees her up for the new "Fast Food Research Club: sponsored by Burger World" the school added (yeah that's the full name). Li even promised her some free meal vouchers if she can get Daria and Jane to join!

Math class is now problems like "A Taco supreme with chili fries is 7.85 with tax, how much will it cost to upsize the drink to a extra large chocolate shake if the prize is 2.60?" which are so much easier to think about, although sometimes she feels a bit too tired to really focus on it.
Geography is now studying dishes from around the world including samples to try
Gym has special courses sponsored by Ultra Cola to teach everyone about indigestion and arm chair aerobics to keep your arm fit enough to lift a phone

Daria at this point is growing desperate.

She’s considering trying to barter herself back to Highland, taking Jane with her.

Li would get two complacent food drones who won’t snitch and would eat and consume whatever their told. And McVicker would probably be willing to throw in a cash bonus to sweeten the deal, if his internet trail was any indication the man was growing desperate.

Of course, come to think of it, she hadn’t seen Jane in a few days

I wonder how Principal Li is doing during all this. She's flush with cash but she is in the same school as all the students, all those commercials and daily reminders to eat often and eat plenty. She might not be getting the best meals herself, falling into the same brain drained state as the students.
Those long complicated contracts she has to sign with their sponsors, they can be so tiresome to read all the way through. Hope she isn't missing any important fine print with her eyes getting heavy after 2 pages.
She might be agreeing to something really bad for the school.

THREAD IV DIED BEFORE THIS COULD BE CONTINUED