/brit/

goof edish actually haha

i have sex with my hand every day

could well have been true but now I have also posted

>Can't even have a fag on the balcony because all the builders are right fucking there
Why would their building prevent you from bumming somebody

>I shagged the other night at the pub
yes
>I shag every time I go to the pub, have pulled within the first hour
no

>I'm posting amongst actual boomers

Very grim

Anyone of them involving a fit middle aged woman?

>smash bros
>trap
Grotty virgins

*specifically post-lockdown
The world is not the same anymore lad

Please stop posting this it’s disgusting and cringe

HOLY SHIT SHUT THE FUCK UP

I haven't had sex for 5 years

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unironically shat my pants a few days ago

do these spastics even know the context?

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there's quite a few of us 30+ year olds here

forget that england isn't already locked down
nicola already had us leaving pubs at 10 and now closed for 2 weeks
life is pain

i got a handjob last night

How do I acquire a gf for the first time

Recruiter just called me and offered me an interview tomorrow at 12pm, then acted like I was inconveniencing her by saying it was too short notice. Am I being unreasonable? I was kind of surprised that SHE was surprised that someone might say its pretty short notice

i've never had sex and i literally look like a virginal caricature
even after getting in better shape and getting a haircut one of my mate's dad's mates said "you look like the biggest virgin i've ever seen"
some of us are just born to be virgin freaks ahaha

The private school in my town is really peng desu, like an Oxbridge college. Want to go and have a stroll around the grounds but I'd inevitably terrify lots of wealthy Chinese children and get accused of being a 'e

The 'official' Millennial cutoff is people who were in school or college at the the turn of the Millennium, so 1996 is the first zoomer year
Culturally I think it's more to do with how young you were when you had internet access

Who remembers this one then?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=D8XWRLCeYT0

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no it's to do with smartphone usage

Go at the weekend then

alri mark

yeah it's pretty short notice

>Culturally I think it's more to do with how young you were when you had internet access
this is what ive always used as a yard arm for zoomers
brain wormed bunch

Lose weight fatty.

the best artisits died poorer than a kirk mouss

Not fat. im an athlete

maybe you should send your child there when you have one

literally pragmatic advice to train for an in demand field when job security is low rather than a field everyone knows isn't great for earnings
starving artist is the biggest (most accurate) stereotype ever
can't fund every wanker with a camera or guitar can we

lad the trick is to call other people virgins
y-you fucking virgin h-haha

aaah yes, the dance industry

holy shit that is brutal lmao
keep at it lad

Not really unreasonable desu, just because you're unemployed it doesn't mean that you're necessarily free all day every day, and one day definitely is very short notice. Recruiters tend to just be quite rude/unpleasant because they make all their money on commission, so their one and only goal is to get you into a job (regardless of whether it's a good fit) as soon as possible. Can be a good thing at times, but does make them annoying to deal with

didn’t really have working internet at home until 2008 aha

i remember when i was toiling this time last year think i'd love to be back home doing nowt and that's what i've done all year and now i'd just love to be back in the office keeping myself occupied

>even after getting in better shape and getting a haircut one of my mate's dad's mates said "you look like the biggest virgin i've ever seen"
>you look like the biggest virgin i've ever seen
ahhaahhahhahhahhaahahahah.
hahaha btfo btfo btfo!!!

Zoomers are infinitely better than millennials. They are the most fucked generation but at least they have a sense of humour about it.
For me, it's Gen X

Why aren't you at work??

Ask a girl out on a date

that'd be fucking suicide lad
i just laughed it off and said "cheers mate" somewhat sarcastically but truth is i was quite hurt

>you look like the biggest virgin i've ever seen
scromitting at this

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I was born in September 1997 and I don't remember that at all, I didn't even know that was a thing but now everything makes sense - thats why other brands have green packets for their cheese and onion crisps and why walkers is blue while every other brand is green. Holy shit. That's a fucking revelation. I've always wondered why walkers was cheese and onion was blue but literally every other brand was green.
If ched and onion was green, then what colour was salt and vinegar?

Do you remember BBQ walkers crisps? The ones in the black packet? I'm sure they used to be a staple flavour like cheese and onion, ready salted and salt and vinegar but they suddenly disappeared one day when I was a kid and I haven't seen then since. I used to see them everywhere and eat them all the time in the early/mid 2000s but I dont know if walkers even sell them anymore

It's a boarding school

If I have lots of money then maybe, but I can't see myself shelling out £30k per year just for my runt offspring to have slightly better teachers

post face

Unironically been told to isolate for 14 days.

am

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just taken some kratom

FOLC

More like Hilary BUFF amirite boys

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>Contrary to popular belief, Walkers Cheese and Onion have always been in blue packets, and Salt and Vinegar have always been in green packets.

erm

If the name on this poster was Karen, nobody would bat an eye.

>£30k per year just for my runt offspring to have slightly better teachers
lel
going good private school is probably the best thing you can give a child

no can't will reply to my applications

Ayo stop the thread a minute, I got something to say
/brit/, I wanna tell you this shit right now, while this fuckin weed is in me
I don't know if I ever told you this, but I love you lads, I got your motherfucking backs, just know this shit

this is wrong

Utter savagery.

I am
WFH
HEH

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conjecture: the average brit slags aren't inherently uglier than girls of other nationalities, they just present themselves terribly
(hair, makeup, lifestyle, binge drinkers, smokers, fat, poor fashion, terrible attitudes, etc.)
i.e. it's cultural

I've been a NEET since finishing sixth form and the charity shop I volunteered at pre-lockdown isn't having volunteers in for the foreseeable future

im at unitoil. on the frontier of human knowledge. toilers and neets will never understand.

it was a chad move ngl
not everyone has the balls to speak their mind so openly

Yeah but millennials remember when it was the other way round.

just realised that the existence of slavery in the 15th century or whatever onwards should harm the reputation and perceived integrity of christianity in some way or another but it hasn't at all and I think that's interesting

>being born after 1994

ISHYGDDT

butt shots

yeah but everyone who goes to private school turn into right little spackers
especially the ones who go to all boys ones as they have NO experience with women by the time they get to uni

Just realised I have this hair haha need a haircut pronto

FOLC

its true
upper middle class private school birds are unreal
i think that having no sun here is also a factor probs

i know about 5 different people who insist that walkers cheese and onion used to be green

>being born after the year I was born

ISHYGDDT

Making my own slab of donner meat lads

youtu.be/KM9SIT1Z2wg

lmao this was a mate of mine at uni
basically the only women he'd really known were his mum and sister
was fascinating

exactly you don't see any toffs that look like ugly slappers
they might be horsefaced but its a different kind of ugly

>frontier of human knowledge
depends on the industry, but ya enjoy it while you can

girlfriend has started getting comfortable enough to fart around me

it was funny at first but i don't like this now

What are you studying? Is it true they make race and gender stuff compulsory?

standing at the frontier of human poo

It says here you've been lifting for a solid year now and you're still fat. Care to explain?

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do you say alri emma

just copy pasted this freaks posts into a word document
holy hell. imagine typing 3000 words on /brit/ over 4 hours. literally 2 uni essays just sperging out over camos which literally nobody will read

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Not him, but at my uni the professor literally recommended a book that justifies racism

Still not worth it desu. I got into better unis than most of the guys I knew who went to that school. Fell out of touch with them so not sure what jobs they ended up in, I'd be curious to see desu. Maybe the memes are true and their friend Tarquin's dad just gave them £100k finance jobs immediately after they graduated with a 2.1 from mid-tier unis

>NOO WHY AREN'T THE STACIES AS PURE AS I THOUGHT THEY WERE ON THEIR CUTE PEDESTAL?!?

im a physics virgin
>Is it true they make race and gender stuff compulsory?
no lmao, absolutely not

How? Am very intrigued by the process.

did keto for 4 weeks and lost 10kg without much effort
it is also the most boringist grimmist fucking direst diet i've ever attempted

Literally me. Except I don't have a sister.

Can't understand people who do Vegan diets. You're just going to get fat in the end and wind up with eating disorders along with vitamin deficiencies.

that must be so socially debilitating

yas queen

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