Man fuck australia

FPBP

It's only good for gays tho. The blokes wear denim hot pants with mouton boots.

Hence that world famous annual event the Melbourne Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras

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>there’s also no reason to fear spiders if you’re healthy. They aren’t lethal to a healthy adult.

t. Giant Australian Spider

>Australian kinos
>that don't make it look like a godforsaken hellhole

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the amount of rent free in this thread

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You don't, it's hell.

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I wish hiro posted

It's cringe the way you think of animals and insects here. It's all bullshit

Its a meme you autist

I thought pretty much all Australians were faggots. The #1 crime that got you sent to Australia back in the day was sodomy.

what the fuck happened to this country in the last 20 years

As long as your name's Bruce you'll fit in just fine.

Beautiful kate

Only if you were English.

HEAVE HO UNNA

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keep in mind there are spiders literally large enough to be considered face huggers there and their women will want to beat you up

>I wanna live there
Are sure about that?

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both of these are my fetish Mr Internet Historian

Looks like good tucker.

t. city slicker

straya has atrocious insects even in residential areas, plants that can put you into eternal suffering, and literal fucking roos bouncing across the road. it's a shit place to live if you're looking to not be harassed by housekeeping problems compared to literally anywhere else

Far side is too based for this site

who was in the wrong here?

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I'm Australian and I hate America.

Who's Fred?

Is there really no dangerous wildlife in America?

Mass unchecked immigration and onions in the water supplies

Based

Holy fucking shit

We're full
FUCK OFF

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they have americans, who are on the same level as animals, and more likely to kill you

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Why did she get so offended at being compared to Tom Cruise?

Snakes, ,scorpions, and mosquiotoes (more annoying really). Thats the South tho

SEPPO PUNKS
SEPPO PUNKS
SEPPO PUNKS
FUCK OFF

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>I spent 2 years in the Australian bush as a post-doc and the only thing I ever got in my room was cockroaches and huntsman spiders(cool and harmless)
>cool and harmless
STOPPED READING HERE FUCK YOU!!

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yes but australia is uniquely inhospitable

Forget the animals, psychos like this or the Wolf Creek killer are running around in the Outback

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bears, moose, big cats, feral hogs, all types of venomous and poisonous insects

Both my parents were teachers and made over 100k lol

In the US if something gets you you will see it coming. Aussiemonsters are just sneaky cunts

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You got some reddit spaces on your reddit spaces.

China owns Australia now, look into who owns what in their industry and it's pretty much all Asian.

That’s probably fake, why would a mouse be climbing on the wall? Either way that’s really cool, and harmless, you’re not a rat are you?

I used to believe they were cool "outback" types, like in those Dundee movies.
They're fucking shit tier and gay as it turns out.

Their media at work.
When I saw OP's movie they got Exposed. I looked into it and their government tried to ban the movie worldwide.
Then I learned they voted for homosexual marriage and the "shrimp on the barby" propaganda became even more of a joke. I mean, people think we in the US were pro-homo but we voted against it.. it was imposed on us. They on the other hand actually chose it.

You seem to have everything that we have but on steroids. Plus it seems you have a ton of animals that are deceptively cute but are nasty. I’ve heard koala bears are mean little bastards.

Memes aside, if you live in rural Australia and you're not a 1.80 tall blonde chad who's excellent at sport, you might as well kys or move to a big city

>tfw sucked at sport
>mocked for being good at school because of anti-intellectual culture
>black hair, manlet
>never had a gf
>fucked off from rural shithole as soon as i finished highschool

Looking back I'm still pissed I had to live there in the first place

>He didnt live in a desolate wasteland where all there was to do was get blasted

>koala bears are mean bastards
They’re the sloths of Australia, literally do nothing
>we have but on steroids
The only animal on roids here are Roos and wallabies, they WILL commit suicide by traffic, they’re like deer in headlight but instead of getting mindraped by the light and stand still they actively try to jump infront of it(no joke if you drive on a highway at night behind a truck you’ll see 10 dead Roos before the nights over

So every fear you have is completely logical? Stop being an asshole.

You won't be missed.

I'll admit I sort of been playing with the idea of moving to Australia the past couple weeks only because I like warm places. I'm Canadian and I can't fucking stand it being below 10c. Let alone being stuck with -20 for 4 months and no sun. But obviously it comes with its drawbacks.

Should I just abandon that idea. I just like the summer heat, slow internet might be annoying but are the creepy crawling really so awful even in the city?

No I have a fear of falling/heights, I get clammy hands climbing a construction ladder

But spiders are coolbois and kill vermin for you

Faggot

google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/environment/2019/jun/18/epic-photo-huntsman-spider-eats-pygmy-possum-in-tasmania

It just started getting cold here

Those guys did nothing wrong though. You should've posted a nignog.

any australian who says australia isn't the best is mentally ill/ has no friends

I know I won't. That's why I moved out of literal thirdworld boganville.

You're better off looking at them from a distance and I'm sure the chlamydia thing is a myth but yeah, they could probably fuck you up with their claws

>You should've posted a nignog.

I did.

It's not even that big you wimp

Sodomy is a proud tradition of the Royal Navy and I won't have you tarnish it

And all they got was a useless virgin too timid to say hi to a girl and spread his seed.

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everything in australia kills you

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What's cold to you? Anything below 10c is chilly to me. If the coldest it ever gets is 5c that's still better than my weather.

Teachers in Australia are paid better than teachers in most countries and also have better working conditions.

t. Australian teacher who's worked in different countries

Don't project user

NuAustralia is literally nothing but arabs and chinks

Not a very gay drink m8

Just don't move to Melbourne or Tassie, they are both freezing and Melbourne is gay. The spiders are fine, usually it's just a cute garden spider or fluffy huntsman. And any spider that jumps is a bro. Main thing is to look at pics of garden spiders and venomous white tips so you can tell the difference. If it's black, kill it.

Pope, the only evidence here is the pink shirt

based.

Seethe more. Melbourne is the most liveable city in the world.

Also don't move to Perth as there are no magic mushrooms growing around there.

Faggot, if you knew how many pictures I’ve helped photographers with when it comes to making animals pose you’d realize that 50% of wildlife photos are “fake”

Examples:
>snake striking with bared fangs
>crocodile lunging out of water/lunging on land
>bird catching prey
>bird with prey
>snake with prey
>frilled lizard posing with frills flared and mouth agape
>monitor lizards standing on hindlegs

I have probably helped in literally thousands of snake pictures. It’s not difficult at all to get animals to do things for you

Maybe the picture isn’t fake, maybe it is. My guess is dude found a dead rodent and dangled it infront of a spider in his house until it gripped it

Maybe for German tourists and lefties, if you want the most livable city in the world go to Melbourne but then drive an hour to the coast either west or east of there

>take some MDMA and walk to the beach
>great thing about Australia is no matter where you are if you got enough MDMA you are always within walking distance of a beach

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I guarantee you fellas haven't felt Canadian cold yet.

The kind that causes permanent skin damage if you touch metal.
The kind that makes your face burn when you open a door to the outside
The kind of cold that tells you right away that you will die if you get lost outside longer than 3 hours.

>The heat sucks because you can only take off so many layers, but I'm winter you can keep putting on layers
Dont even fucking start with that shit. Every exposed piece of skin is where youre vulnerable and the cold seeps its way into your life at every moment. From when you leave the shower, to waking up, to eating breakfast. The lack of sun is the worst part. There is nothing but bleak dark days that last for maybe 8 hours. Even have vitamin D deficiency? It literally causes depression, in everyone. Everyone becomes a sad pissed off asshole of misery for 4 months straight.

The days I've been in 30c were my happiest days. Although I'm not accustomed to them as well you might be, I'd still take that over the cold. The heat makes you uncomfortable, but the cold kills.

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Mmmm bout to go picking in a few days. Tis the season

it's the other way around

australians are slowly morphing into chinese

in the future australia will belong to china. I'm pretty sure china own like 50% of businesses in australia right now.

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You get to live in based snow all year

New to the Yabba

fellow prarienigga?

I laugh my ass off when people think Scandinavia is cold.

anybody else enjoy watching Wolf Creek?

Depends what part of Canada. In most of the country, sure its snow for 4-5 months out of the year. The rest of the year is black flies, deer flies, horse flies, and mosquitos.

youtube.com/watch?v=f389hIxZAOc

>Public transportation is hilariously bad unless you’re in Sydney.
Sydney has unironically the worst public transport system in the country.

Based Fredposter

where did they teach? NY? I'm in MA and starting salary for teacher is ~50k

Can confirm, landlord is Asian, hit my car backing up and wont pay a cent

You are retarded if you think months of 40C summers are any better, you are just not used to have long hot summers thats why you think its great. Move to a place that aren't cold or hot enough.

They taught in Australia

Americucks wouldn't last here. You literally have to be a gigachad to get the smallest amount of pussy. When I worked in Canada for a year I would holiday in America occasionally and felt like I had super powers when it came to talking to women. It was all so much easier over there to get laid.

It's not deadly, but the tarantula hawk has the most painful sting of any insect. Luckily, you have to really provoke them to sting you.

Those guys only lasted one generation though

Prof wasn't that reliable. He raped the main character.

These guys aren't even that bad if you leave them alone though. Worst case scenario it'll take your dog.

its not any easier in the city unless you're a foreigner dating fobs.
All the women here are entitled to chad and nothing less.

>>teachers are essentially indentured servants
Communist detected.

I lived there in for about 6 months moving around picking fruit. Spent the rest of the time indo and thailand. I had fun. It was pretty based.

Retard detected

Aussies are bitches, you talk shit but can't take shit in return, get over yourselves you spiderniggers lmao

There's nothing more hillarious than an offended Aussie that suddently transforms from yeah nah cunt sheila be alroight to what is basically a posh brit. The hipocrisy is staggering.

>the snakes, the spiders, the sharks

We just say all that because we're too fucking full mate and don't want any extra cunts.

They only bother you if you're a pussy anyway.

Go gag on more cocks, kiwi

>The days I've been in 30c were my happiest days.
Nigga in summer in Australia there are days where you get overnight minimums of over 30 degrees. During the day it will get up to 45 degrees and feel like 50+
30 degree days are common in Spring & Autumn lol.

>people from melbourne are the only people who post on Zig Forums

Did the doctor fuck him at the end of the movie?

Yes, they fucked each other

I live in scandinavia, and one summer we got a heat wave of 35c, it was fucking horrible. I'd rather take the cold.

dont go OP, you'll be bantered to death

Kangaroo Javk

If you didn't see snakes you weren't in the bush mate

but that's gay

Spider fingers typed these words.

>concentrated
Soon, yes.

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nice halloween decoration there, m8

It's because they think they're a tiny nation that's always punching up and above their weight. The truth is that they're an entire continent that should be doing better but are happy with tiny and mediocre victories that their cool Uncle Sam might notice them for.

indians too

fuck off we’re full

learn the national anthem first

youtube.com/watch?v=RviuTfdfArM

Bro just move to a temperate zone, dont go from 1 extreme to the other. Deal with cold, but not that cold and heat that isnt as fucked as aussie heat.
T. New Englander.

OI YEAH MATE DONT BE FUCKEN POOFTA COME DRINK SOME FUCKEN VBs MATEEEEEE. GOTTA HIDE IT FROM THE MISSUS YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN AHAHA. THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN YKNOW. OI CAN I BUM A CIG OF YA COBBER. GOOD ONYA MATEY. OI DONT FORGET TO BASH TREE HUGGING FUCKIN GREENIES

We'll never be as inbased as the first fleeters and have to live with that fact.

incredibly based post cob

>browns were semi common
>the second most venomous snake in the world was semi common

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Lol, their biggest unproven claim around here is that they can shitpost and bant but I've yet to see this happen. Another propaganda piece that some of these guys swallowed. They repeat it just like the "scary spider" BS.
You see a canadian posting something routine and he'll make everyone rage without even trying.

These convicts are unremarkable asf. Their entire country can sink into the ocean and literally Nobody will notice they're gone

Perth is also an absolute backwater full of methheads and bogans who got rich off the mines. Nice beaches tho.

Fuckin I love The Far Side. My parents always had those daily calendars with 365 pages and the book collections of them all.

Movies set in New Zealand

>Aboriginals, they suck.

Church.

>oh my goodness! Is that a spider?

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that's anywhere you're a foreigner

Sounds like you'll notice, considering how much you think about us, sad

based

>Aboriginals, they suck.
You're right about coons, they are the shit of the Earth, even lower than niggers.

>sheed feed and seed

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yeah I pray to god you never teach my children that post came from someone sub 100 IQ

Nah that's just propaganda to attract pommy migrants.

Since everyone is fucking with you I'll say Two Hands (1999)
Probably will make you chuckle enough to think it's a good place and shotties are good mate.

Third world population growth coming entirely from immigration.
East coast cities are unrecognisable compared to 20 years ago.
That said, bogan threads here are comfy as fuck.

t.Child eating dingo

This lmao the "bant culture" in australia is the biggest meme around here. canadians americans and even brits can take more jokes than australians and new-zelanders who are the most sensitive people on this planet

That was the point of his story, ficking mong.

We're full!!

You are a retard. Depending on where you are, you have all kinds of shit to look out for.
Snakes, crocs, spiders (redback and browns are especially not to fuck with doing farmer jobs). Funnel webs are fast cunts, though mostly around the Sydney area. Huntsman are nice and docile until the moment they are not and scare the shit out of you while you brush your teeth and have one of those mofos inside the bathroom. If you go camping in the open, we always had to stomp the fields and generally walk with more heavy steps to scare unseen asshole predators away. Then there is the weird shit in the waters, like those tiny shells that put you into a state of immobility if you get stung. Fuck, I even had leeches stuck between my toes, that shit wasn't fun. Some people are lucky and some mongoloids like you are have nothing happen to them.

Looks like a big crab. I'd crack that bitch open for a drunken snack

This is a fucking tremendous movie.

Why would you want to get drunk and get raped by creepy men and kill kangaroos?

Mad Max 1

Thanks i'll check it out.

Should have understood they did by how Grant woke up with vomit on him if you didn't catch it from their playful fighting and laughing- he sucked his sweaty dick and puked.

Muriel's Wedding

I actively looked for these animals tardanon. Fruit pickers and farmers probably run into snakes yeah, but that’s not normal people, that’s tourists

Most animals, including crocodiles under 3meters will mad dash away the second they see you.

Australia used to be infamous amongst all Anglo countries for how macho and regressive its culture was but it made no difference - they got pozzed overnight and aren't any better than Cuck Island now.

youtube.com/watch?v=9ojhtq51Ya8

I saw hundreds a day. But normal people wouldn’t run into them

There's nothing gay about sodomy if there are no women around. It's only gay if you choose to shag a bloke when you have the option of shagging a girl instead.

Guys doing time at sea or in prison get a nohomo pass IMO.

>CLICK CLANK CLICK CLICK
I see you you fucking insectoid freak

There is, it mostly lives in big cities

god I fucking hate coons

Nah Australians are turning into insects from the flood of Chinese

>abbos are so fucking alcoholized that they literally get government issued punch cards so they can’t drink more than their monthly allowance

Nigger buses just straight up disappear on the Gold Coast and it's a half hour between every one, then when they do come they're off by 15 minutes either side, trains run on time but you're fucked if you need to use them within an hour of school/work knock off.

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Why is beer so expensive there

We do have one of the most dangerous apex predators in the saltwater crocodile, but thankfully, you're mostly safe from them if you stay away from waters or watersides they inhabit.

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Taxes

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why am I laughing at this

>Lol, their biggest unproven claim around here is that they can shitpost and bant but I've yet to see this happen. Another propaganda piece that some of these guys swallowed. They repeat it just like the "scary spider" BS.
>You see a canadian posting something routine and he'll make everyone rage without even trying.

>These convicts are unremarkable asf. Their entire country can sink into the ocean and literally Nobody will notice they're gone

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Because it's pretty funny user.

The Castle

fuck I miss /afl/

I've never seen an aussie go into a FUCK YOU OBSESSED YUROPOOR MUHAMMAD RAPING YOUR CHILDREN tirade after being bantered

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Unironically this
I live as an expat in a fucking muslim country where the vast majority can't legally drink and it's both cheaper and more accessible despite ridiculously high taxes on alcohol.
Going back to Australia pains me every fucking time.
> No sir you can't buy takeaway beers at 10:15pm on a Friday evening please think of the children
There's not a more cucked country on Earth than Australia. Prove me wrong.

idiot box

It's a meme, this is as a GP based in uk.

>pros
Incredibly cheap property compared to the UK, like honestly in places half an hour from the major cities £250k homes are easily equivalent to £500k ones here. This is the biggest advantage imo.
MUCH higher gross pay, notably lower tax as well for GPs.

>cons
Takes forever to get anywhere in australia itself. This is the big one and the reason I bailed, I don't want to spend 3 hours a day in the car.
takes forever to go anywhere abroad
I was in darwin, it was just too hot to the point of being uncomfortable
Although gross pay was much higher it was quickly brought down closer to uk levels. Practise takes a third and to match the NHS pension you've got to pay in an insane amount, don't get me wrong though I still earned more

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if you have a british or australian accent in the states pussy is free, user
haven't you seen Love Actually?

good joke

ya got me, sorry m8
real answer

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>drink maybe twice a year
>can scull a pint of VB in a second and a half
Genetics.

I'm going to watch Wake in Fright to get some Real Horror feels.
Real horror is truly terrifying, there's no fantasy, no boogey man, no Jason or Dracula.. it's the stuff that will make an adult feel sick. Sick without cheesy intentional tricks or gimmicks.

Gone Girl is another one I can think of atm. It's in fact horror just like Wake in Frights official genre. Funny thing about it is, I don't think it was meant to be a horror movie.. but after seeing the finished product there was no question about it. Imagine being stuck in that hellhole.

This is why so many of them are infatuated with the US. They're trying to escape. I hope Trump makes the travel ban from there permanent, after all they're in Asia so that's an angle they can use.

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snowtown

finally as always iggs

I too wish I could go and work & live there but alas I'm not Anglo.

good shitposter containment thread user

the year my voice broke

3 hrs a day in the car in Darwin? More like 3 mins.

this what is the twat talking about its fucking darwin nobody lives their

Isnt australia like on fire all the time now? Probably choose a bit of cold weather over that to be honest

t. spider

>huntsman spiders
fuck that

Fuck off we're full, cunt

Full of shit you fucking faggot australian

Go do something useful and bag some feral cats before your entire native fauna is fuckin extinct forever.

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It's been weird living in WA this past year. There's all this crazy shit going on in the world that isn't happening here. First there's these bushfires, and apparently Australia's on fire or something.... not here though. Then there's a global pandemic.... not here.

You really don't.

Fuck off we're full of Asians

pissing down again lads

I walk into spider webs all the time bro you just have to brush the spiders out of your hair

Muriel’s wedding

Depends on how hot you like it. summer heat here in Perth is brutal

You've obviously never gone to Nannup my friend

Fuck I hate cats.
Cats and Goats, filthy pests, great for shooting.

poof

Abo. I'm too white for this country

You're saying white people can't say black lives matter too

>They’re the sloths of Australia, literally do nothing
retard. Someone find the koala pasta.

youtube.com/watch?v=x8oLu7znwQ0

Yeah when it got that bad we couldn't even put any shrimps on the barbie because the barbing was declared illegal in order to prevent forest fires. Shit was fucked.

Jesus imagine hearing those noises near the end just outside in the middle of the night when you're sleeping, Id think it was a fucking demon or something

Try camping under one of those noisy fuckers when you're stoned ad shit and trying to sleep.

> Thinking viruses actually want to infect West Australians
Literally no one cares in the slightest about you cunts. Thanks for the mineral riches though I guess.

I dont know why some of you faggots suggest big cities as a cure for everything. I mostly see only girls do this. I live in a highly developed country and everytime I visit or stroll through a 1million+ city its extremely depressing. Thats why I hate these shitty generic coming of age movies with some random whore from a small town, wishing she could live in the big city.
It's mostly nasty and dirty It's full to the brim with examples of failed multi culturalism. Everything is more expensive by several magnitudes. Everyone is on a constant try hard mode to be super individualistic and stand out from the crowd which is ironic because they are are seeking conformity and elitism. There are walkin stereotypes of every human in existence around every corner. You found a nice little quite little place for yourself? Not for very long. The architecture sucks, with the exemption of very few big cities. If you like your view to be 99% concrete in different colours, shapes and form, then you might enjoy it. The only reason to ever move to a big city is if you have either no other choice, get off of attention, feel a sense of elitism, or are your run of the mill normie with no self reflection.

Personally I only travel to a big city to have an exquisite dining experience with others, because you can't really have it in a smaller town with shity sushi tier restaurants. Maybe go togther for a walk under good weather but thats about it.

hello

Yeah that kind of behavior definitely doesn’t exist in every country

That's why East coast UK is the best. Less rain because it gets stopped by the central mountains. Temperature in summer is no more than 35c.
Temperature in winter barely gets below 0c.

nigger tier weather

any melbros here
why is it so fucking cold

Crocodile Dundee in New York

You would probably like The Hunt

What's the alcohol laws like compared to Canadian? Only 1 store is allowed to sell alcohol, it's literally called the "liquor control board of Canada" or the LCBO. opens at 10 and closes at 9 on weekdays. Want any alcohol at 10? Go fuck yourself apparently.

The license to distribute alcohol has been loosened thanks to the liberal gov tho, now other places can sell like grocery stores, but alcohol can't be sold after 11. Drinking age is 19. In Quebec side with french colonist law the laws are way more loose so most just go there.

There is no bigger hive of faggotry in Australia than Melbourne. Sydney is a close second.

You're basically asking why Hollywood is skewed towards city loving liberal imagery when the only people who make it in Hollywood are the most trust fund trendy liberal manchildren who have never stepped foot outside their gated community in LA. There aren't any movies being made by outback bros.

>huntsman spiders(cool and harmless)

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ya fuckin freezing
how come the other states getting quarantine lifted

aww look at its little eyes

>literally just chills on the wall and kills all the fuckin mice and cockroaches for you
>not cool
huntsmen are legends, they're like cats but don't need attention

straight outta the mist
nuke australia

-no one

>VB
Pisswater
Drink Melbourne instead

Jindabyne

Spain is pretty cucked too, even though the beer is cheap, you can't buy it after 11pm, unless you find a friendly paki who's willing to risk the fine

When the fuck is the housing market gonna crash?
These faggots have been saying "Any minute now" for over 10 fucking years

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read in Ser Allister Thorne's voice

Yeah maybe if I was a citizen, brits are forced to work in the rural areas no one else does, about an hour away from the cbd.

They are basically harmless and they're very easy to kill. Put a little bifenthrin on them and they turn into spastics then curl up and die.

>australian
>e*st coaster
pick one

Kek

prison yes sea no. you sign up for a voyage, and in prison it's a power thing.

kino

possums are worse, they literally sound like a cat being murdered

you can't buy piss in shops like you can in the states but all the bottle shops are private just with taxes on them.

Isn't that where they're constantly under attack by ethiopians/somalians with machetes?

Same shit here then I guess. It's only recent we let grocery stores hold a liquor license.

When I went to the states for the first time and saw bug bottle of whiskey sitting on the steps of a 7/11 dirt cheap, like DIRT FUCKING CHEAP. It'd probably go for $40 in CAD but in the states it was like 15 or some shit. The US is wild no wonder they're like that.

Move to Belgium, jfc. Australia is extreme.

yeah our spirits are super expensive too, 40AUD for a bottle of jack daniels. On the other hand however because fermented alcohol has alot less tax on it and we have a big fuck off wine industry you can get 4 litres of fortified wine for like 8 bucks

Is every animal on the continent retarded?

>1.75 liter bottles of Evan Williams bourbon for $22.97
I always love when other anglosphere people come to America and 95% of the time literally shit their pants at how cheap our alcohol is

Every newzealander I've ever met was pretty chill, but half of them were snowboarders so that might have been the reason.