On Britain: >"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass?" Said to a driving instructor in Scotland >"Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant." Said while celebrating Edinburgh's youth >"The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could stop tourism, we could stop congestion." >"You bloody silly fool!" Said to a car park attendant who didn't recognise him >"People think there’s a rigid class system here, but dukes have even been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans." >"British women can't cook."
On minorities: > “So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs.” At a Bangladeshi youth club >"There’s a lot of your family in tonight." To Atul Patel at reception for 400 British-Indians >"It looks as if it was put in by an Indian.” On a malfunctioning fuse box >"Are you all one family?" Said to a multiracial dance troupe >"What exotic part of the world do you come from?" Said to a black MP from Birmingham
On economics: >"I declare this thing open, whatever it is." >"I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing." >"It's the best way of wasting money that I know of." On the U.S. Apollo program >"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." In reference to an economic recession >"I will probably have to give up polo." Said to encourage people during a recession >"Why don't you go and live in a hostel to save cash?" Said to someone living on the streets
On the royal family: >"Constitutionally, I don't exist." >"You have mosquitoes. I have the Press." Said while talking to a hospital manager in the Caribbean >"People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still trying to dry out Windsor Castle." Said to a survivor of a plane bombing >"Just take the fucking picture." Said during an official photo shoot >"Yak, yak, yak; come on, get a move on." Said to the queen >"If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design and noise reduction. Provided you don't travel in something called 'economy class,' which sounds ghastly." >"If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she's not interested." Said about his daughter. >"Where did you get that hat?" Said to the queen at her coronation >"I'd much rather have stayed in the Navy, frankly." Said about his position as prince >"I never see any home cooking, all I get is fancy stuff."
On disabilities: >"No wonder you are deaf listening to this row." Said to deaf children at a pop concert in Wales >"Have you run over anybody?" Said to a man on a mobility scooter >When he and the Queen met Stephen Menary, an army cadet blinded by an IRA bomb, and the Queen enquired how much sight he retained, Philip quipped: "Not a lot, judging by the tie he's wearing." >"We didn’t have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, asking 'Are you all right? Are you sure you don’t have a ghastly problem?' You just got on with it." Complaining about PTSD counseling for veterans
On children: >"You're too fat to be an astronaut." Said to a 13 year-old aspiring astronaut >"So you can write, then? Well done!" Said to a 14 year-old student
On crime: >"If a cricketer suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" Said in relation to the proposal to ban firearms in the UK following the Dunblane shooting >"A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman." >"Cats kill more birds than men. Why don't you have a slogan, 'Kill a cat and save a bird?'" Said to nature preservationists >"Smoke alarms are a disgrace. I've got one in my bathroom, and every time I run a bath, the steam sets it off." Said to a woman who lost two sons to a fire
On music: >"What do you gargle with, pebbles?" Said to Tom Jones >"It is very difficult to see how it is he possible to become immensely popular by singing the most hideous songs." On Tom Jones >"I wish he'd turn the microphone off." Said of Elton John's performance >"We'll need ear plugs." Said when he learned he would have to go to a Madonna performance
On other countries: >"If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes.” Said to a British student in China in 1986 >“You managed not to get eaten then?” Said to someone who had just hiked across Papua New Guinea >“Reichskanzler.” Calling German chancellor Helmut Kohl by Hitler's title >“You look like you’re ready for bed!” Said to the President of Nigeria who was wearing traditional garb >"If it has got four legs and it's not a chair, the Cantonese will eat it." >"You can't have been here that long—you haven't got a pot belly." Said to a Briton in Hungary >"You are a woman, aren't you?" After accepting a gift from a Kenyan woman >"Do you still throw spears at each other?" Said to an Aboriginal Australian >"There's so many you feel they breed them just to put in orphanages." Said about Romanians >"Can you tell the difference between them?" Said to Barack Obama after being told Obama had met the Chinese and Russian ambassadors >"Looks like the sort of thing my daughter would bring back from her school art lessons." Said of an Ethiopian art exhibit >"I might catch some ghastly disease." Said of Australia >"It's a waste of space." Said of the British embassy to Germany >"It's a pleasure to be in a country that isn't ruled by its people." Said while visiting Paraguay
>>"Can you tell the difference between them?" Said to Barack Obama after being told Obama had met the Chinese and Russian ambassadors >>"So you can write, then? Well done!" Said to a 14 year-old student >>"I declare this thing open, whatever it is." >>"What exotic part of the world do you come from?" Said to a black MP from Birmingham >>"If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design and noise reduction. Provided you don't travel in something called 'economy class,' which sounds ghastly." >>"Where did you get that hat?" Said to the queen at her coronation >>"A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman." >>"We'll need ear plugs." Said when he learned he would have to go to a Madonna performance
Gigachad may be the CEO of based, but he will never be the DUKE OF BASED.
Levi Myers
>literally has tenure that cannot under any circumstances be infringed upon
Liam Turner
He's pretty based, ngl
Anthony James
Isn't it ironic that he is German?
Kayden Cruz
>>"We'll need ear plugs." Said when he learned he would have to go to a Madonna performance yup this is based
Jeremiah Richardson
Pretty sure he's Danish and Greek but ngl it's proof that culture is more important than ethnicity, he's more fond of England than most British politicians.
Asher Young
>muh pubs brits can't drink
Hunter Sullivan
>"A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman." If weren't a democracy we'd still have our guns
Joshua Taylor
Legendary bantz, he truly is an englishman
Oliver Rodriguez
70% of these are objectively correct 20% of these are subjectively correct 9% of these are just plain based
The remaining 1% is ignorable.
Camden Price
His native language is German
John Bailey
>intards will call "based" and old rich bastard that sees them as insects.
Carter Reed
What does the Hungarian pot belly thing mean?
Charles Wright
it's just satirical praise, calm down trotsky
Jason Jones
It's British humour, you wouldn't understand
Jayden Hill
>muh oppression Hes funny
Christian Collins
Fuck if I know.
Luke Watson
No it's not. Why do people on this board like to pretend that all British people have no connection to Britain? He left Greece when he was young and spent time in France at an English speaking school. He then lived in England from age 6. How would German be his first language?
