/brit/

secretary of smegmacation

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The man is a saint. He saved UK schoolchildren from unhealthy lunches.

NEED these scraped across my ballsack A S A P.

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killed turkey twizzlers

nooo not my heckin human rightserinos

i wonder if marco dislikes jamie like he does gordon

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turkey twizzlers and that

*poos on the running table saw, sending poo flying everywhere*

no

Of course not

giwtwm

if it was really wrong would tinder allow it

hope so, at least gordon's a good cook

everyone hates jamie
my mum cooks better meals with frozen food

gagging for a sicilian olive

probably doesn't think about him at all

Simple enough request

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Someone told me there is a massive gap in emotional maturity but Ibe kind of been mollycoddled so it’s not really true

>adult virgins are mocked
Only if you are in your 20s and not a monk or something

I read an article about Albanians taking over cocaine trade in London. Apparently they're more organized as a diaspora. They have connections with Albanians in the netherlands and the Amsterdam ports which is where most european cocaine comes in, so they get it almost straight from colombia at wholesale prices rather than most gangs in London who get it from dutch gangs and other resellers. Now the albanians are those resellers in London, selling it cheaper and purer

i-is it halal?

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nice that she's offering

ask how large her arse is and how loud her shites are

Hahahahaha you’re firing some excellent shots lad

If you're even 40 and getting 18 year olds without paying then you'd deserve a hi-five

south is controlled by albos and their italian imports
midlands is controlled by pakis and turks with their middle eastern imports
north is controlled by the irish and their south american imports

>Tim

lmaoooooo

link that article

you can judge it case by case

they also have these connections all over europe because of their willingness to use brutal violence, but it goes without saying imo that the most brutal gangs usually win out as long as there's a modicum of intelligence behind it as well

Hey Tim

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good to see that marks back

Didn't realise /brit/ was so anti-Jamie

Good morning

Alri

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so you stop being ridiculed once you turn 30?

also my high school and uni gfs were more emotionally mature than me
girls have to be

im 31 and a virg lad it gets easier

I think it becomes pity at that point

nonce

TIM FROM BRISBANE

An 18 year old uni student that’s shagging a 23 year old is undoubtedly more mature than most people on this board, most of these cunts don’t have jobs

there was an article in one of the wop daily papers last year saying every major port in the south of the uk was bribed to the eyeballs by the calabrians/albanians
not bad work if you ask me

post the kouhai shes better

real life isnt Zig Forums. normal people dont actually care. go outside once in a while you weird freak

not a fan of the irish

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Oh look its breakfast baguette o'clock

Yes since everyone assumes you have done it.
False

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Got up, smoked a spliff, put startdust on, ate some toast, listening to Kirsty Maccoll life’s peng dawgs

it is my mate works on the tilbury docks and the albanians pretty much control operations there

Joycean

Timsta from Brizzooooo

top blokes like lez are a dying breed

Bit racist that.

>Yes since everyone assumes you have done it.
and what if you tell them you haven't ?

You think nobody would bat an eye at a 30 year old virgin?
There's a reason "40 year old virgin" is a comedy title

Hhaaha
Yeah here mate.
On the /brit/.

how on earth do they get away with it, they're not even EU

Ordered me Greggs de lids. Got a bacon and omlette roll, cheese and onion bake, sausage roll and a sugar donut.

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>not including all poc

fuck off fascist

Union man rings up and informs you you’ve been sacked with immediate effect

films aren't real life either mate

right lads here we are in /brit/ let’s get some good posts in to help us get over the hump x

post height and weight

fucking hell you fat cunt

Ah fek

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Don't respond

its exaggerated.
never believe bullshit stories that start with 'my entry-level employee mate somehow has access to this incredibly sensitive information...'.

Hope you are safe and well, little fella.

Fuck it was humid today. Any other ausanons absolutely swimming in it today?

what are you fucking retarded? of course it is; please send them over to me instead.

ngl that sounds womfy as right now

Yeah they. The views of bullying old virgins are eternal.
In rome if you werent married by 24 youd be fined and you werent allowed to own a house until you married.

missing the point. the film exists as a comedy because it's such a funny premise to people.

*rolls my sleeves up*
*has a go*
*mucks in*
*pulls my weight*
*tries my best*
*leads from the front*
*gets stuck in*
*gives it some welly*
*slaps your drink out of your hand*

*distant aha whehey coming from the moon*

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based lad

>they made the first move (party hat emoji)
why is this dating app designed like it's for children

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Why?

Lads I'm fucking sweaty, it's really humid.

no idea i think they just brute forced their way into the right positions by making examples out of select people, now the majority of people just turn their heads away ignorance is bliss. nobody really wants to get involved with albanians because they're dangerous men

what you internet addicted mongs never realise is that the average cunt on the street doesnt give a fuck about you or your virginity status. youre not that important so drop the weird self-pitying arrogance.

how many fleshlights do you lads own?

here you go

theguardian.com/world/2019/jan/13/kings-of-cocaine-albanian-mafia-uk-drugs-crime

it turns out i'd misremembered a bit and the connections at the Dutch ports wasn't albanian mafia alone but was them linking up with the Ndrangheta like that other poster was saying

>Yet for the Albanians’ model to truly work it required control of Europe’s ports. For that the Mafia Shqiptare needed to collaborate with the ‘Ndrangheta, the most powerful and globalised of the Italian mafias, which controls mainland Europe’s cocaine trade.

>There is considerable evidence that not only are the Albanians working with the ‘Ndrangheta, but that they have formed the tightest of alliances. Sources say the Italian mafia consider the Albanians as equals. Saggers said: “There’s a strong Italian-organised mafia link with Albanians now, Albanians are working with them – not in competition with them. Plus, historically, the Italians have good contacts in Latin America.”

albanian street gangs get the product and everyone else has been forced to sell at the cheaper prices

>Intelligence obtained by British experts revealed that the Albanians were procuring cocaine from the cartels for about £4,000 to £5,500 a kilo, at a time when rivals thought they were getting a decent deal using Dutch wholesalers selling at £22,500 a kilo. The Albanians lowered the price of cocaine – and increased its purity. More massive consignments were brought into the UK.

Imagine waking up and remembering that you drive forklifts for a living

One, but it was a gift and I've never used it

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me and the yanks

me

the south if full of albanian coke dealers
and the uk is awash with cocaine
and these supplies are all controlled by the calabrians
all this is verifiable true
im just surprised, given the go home office, that these albos dont all get deported

>just looking for someone to eat nice food with
Your tits on display tell a different story

why not?

Alri Tim

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But gay innit

Discussing cricket betting with people who have no idea about cricket but are still betting

could've sworn I clicked /brit/ not /drugsforeignersandvirgins/

I'm gonna eat it in bed as well. Womfy.

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lot of work driving a forklift la
remember that mission in san andreas where the gangs come and shoot at you? absolute nightmare. nohing but respect for forklift-drivers.

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>im just surprised, given the go home office, that these albos dont all get deported
because its exaggerated...

literally me.

*cricket noises*

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Business Idea: Cocaine 2

>open image
>see zombie eyes
>close image

Imagine waking up and your invisible mate reminds you that you’re schizophrenic

nonces OUT

never implied otherwise, why would the average person on the street care about me if they don't even know me. it's not about the average person on the street.

sorry mate
got a patent on that one

might wank

Alri

yeah, I guess you could call me a professional forklifter
*the interview chair gives way under my heft and I roll out onto the shop floor*

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>imagine waking up

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when did you last wash your bed sheets?

>Greggs
Grim

Never had an imaginary friend growing up and don't ever remember anyone else having one either, seems like something just on TV

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lmao at this cope artist saying people wouldn’t care if you are 30 and a virgin like lmao

plot twist: you are the imaginary friend

never had an imaginary friend from memory, but i've always talked to myself out loud and i still do

so lads im too much of a boomer to have used dating apps
but why do people say tinder date/hinge date/bumble date
a dates a date surely irrespective of where you met the person
not like back in the day we used to say uni date or pub date

never did my homework growing up
home was for me, not for school
simple as

they wouldnt. they might think its a bit weird for about 5 seconds then move on.
no idea why all you arrogant virgin cunts think youre in peoples heads 24/7 - youre not.

what’s wrong with a bacon sandwich or toblerone

dont have an imaginary friend but do often talk to myself in hypotheticals a lot

everyone that you love and care about derenders when you can't see them

it's to convey the same information as "blind date" except with the added context that no third party was involved to arrange it