The name's Bond. James Bond

The name's Bond. James Bond.

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I laugh but because Zig Forums would pick him over Idris Elba

>implying a midget wouldn't make for the world's deadliest spy/assassin

I'd shit myself knowing he was coming for me.

That would be an odd job for him.

>OUT OF THE WAY PECK

he'd be better than idris elba, maybe we'd have a decent bond movie for once. the suave britsh spy shtick has entirely worn out might as well replace it with slapstick comedy.

>vodka martini shaken not stirred
>*found dead from alcohol poisoning in the bathroom*

>tfw the dark souls theme starts playing while he gets into his exoskeleton

James Bond in: 3 feet is not enough

nice

Midge Bond

Cast the villain

Jaws but instead of metal teeth he has steel toed boots

James Bond: Midget vs Dwarf

an angry duck the same size as him

>Here is your new car 007
It's just a hotwheels car with a firework taped to it

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Peter Dinklege

James Bond: Man with the iron shoe

James bond: on her majesty's step ladder

you're all getting sued. lawyer up, incels - WD

Will height privilege be the next thing?

no, women will always hate short men and it's more likely that discrimination against them will increase as feminism gains more power

Is he a whore master? Asking for a friend he saw it in another thread

Maisie Williams as Rosa Klebb reimagined as a femcel.
She gets into a vendetta with Bond after he takes legal action against her favorite message board which results in it shutting down

midge

You only live twice, Mr. Bond.

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I once sold coke to a midget. I lived in Vegas, it had to be 1992 or 93. It was summer, and bored with sexual exploits and hard drugging and drinking, I decided I'd have a lil fun with the midget that frequented my favorite bar. Lets call him Vance, because that was his name and no one is going to care to remember it. I started playing his friend, got close to him, he was obnoxiously chatty. Full of stupid, tiny opinions, tiny like his arms and legs, watching him stumble up onto a bar stool, often times waving away help, kept me from putting a gun in my mouth for a good six months. Well, I got him hooked on the shit. Bad. This guy would hit me up in the dead of night for a fix, would suck my dick, anything, and I mean anything. I did it all to this little fuck. What he didn't know, was that I had been consistently cutting his dope with saw dust from the hard work of better men, with glass, hell, I even crushed up a tic once and he was so deep into his high he never noticed. None of this was affecting him enough for my pleasure though, and I soon raised the stakes and added rat poison. I would even spray cockroach killer into his bags. I saw the effects almost immediately, he almost shrunk in size, if that were possible, he began to have mild seizures and I assured him it was simple withdrawals, and that he just needed a little more. Before a month was over, he was practically crawling to my door, having abandoned our bar and his friends. He would sit on my couch and cry about god having abandoned him, and before his untimely death, I made sure he had all but given up on any hope of peace or love in this life or any other.

Watching his little casket being carried by his midget children was the funniest shit I've ever seen, his family held me and wept and thought my tears were pain, but they were jubilation. I've never shared this story until now.

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Dr. Gnome