*blocks your path*
*blocks your path*
Juan Torres
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Adam Collins
is the austin powers midget taller than warwick?
Brayden Parker
Imagine running at them swinging windmills and flying kicks
Brody Perez
How many Warwick Davis' do you think you could take in a fight, Zig Forums?
I guess I'd could take fifty or so.
Samuel Smith
I once sold coke to a midget. I lived in Vegas, it had to be 1992 or 93. It was summer, and bored with sexual exploits and hard drugging and drinking, I decided I'd have a lil fun with the midget that frequented my favorite bar. Lets call him Vance, because that was his name and no one is going to care to remember it. I started playing his friend, got close to him, he was obnoxiously chatty. Full of stupid, tiny opinions, tiny like his arms and legs, watching him stumble up onto a bar stool, often times waving away help, kept me from putting a gun in my mouth for a good six months. Well, I got him hooked on the shit. Bad. This guy would hit me up in the dead of night for a fix, would suck my dick, anything, and I mean anything. I did it all to this little fuck. What he didn't know, was that I had been consistently cutting his dope with saw dust from the hard work of better men, with glass, hell, I even crushed up a tic once and he was so deep into his high he never noticed. None of this was affecting him enough for my pleasure though, and I soon raised the stakes and added rat poison. I would even spray cockroach killer into his bags. I saw the effects almost immediately, he almost shrunk in size, if that were possible, he began to have mild seizures and I assured him it was simple withdrawals, and that he just needed a little more. Before a month was over, he was practically crawling to my door, having abandoned our bar and his friends. He would sit on my couch and cry about god having abandoned him, and before his untimely death, I made sure he had all but given up on any hope of peace or love in this life or any other.
Watching his little casket being carried by his midget children was the funniest shit I've ever seen, his family held me and wept and thought my tears were pain, but they were jubilation. I've never shared this story until now.
Sebastian Kelly
Imagine having steel platted boots and a baseball bat going up against an army of Warwicks. I could EASILY take down a few hundreds or so.
Camden Ward
based
Carter Long
Depends. How many am I fighting at once? Am I armed? Are there any slight ledges I can jump onto to catch my breath whilst the Davis' clamour below me?
Henry Lewis
Not so fast
Gavin White
No. When he was alive, Verne Troyer was the smallest man in the world.
Brayden Rogers
I don't think so. Verne was really smol.
Grayson Butler
>How many am I fighting at once?
Let's say 300. 300 Warwicks.
>Am I armed?
Yes. Three weapons and a shield of your choosing, minus guns. Bow and arrow and crossbows can still be used though.
>Are there any slight ledges I can jump onto to catch my breath whilst the Davis' clamour below me?
Yes. You can also leap off them and dive right into the horde with your sword or bat. Or just Wolfman that shit and use your bare hands.
Tyler Walker
No, Verne Troyer was real fucking small. Nice guy though by all accounts.
Joseph Martin
I've always wanted to reenact this scene
Bentley King
Say that they come at me at waves of 5 at a time and every 3rd wave they have a Peter Dinklage with them i think i would survive for atleast 8 waves
Austin Stewart
I don't know, maybe like 12 or so if I want to be realistic and not just meming.
Connor Butler
*blocks warwick*
Leo Rogers
Nah dude, literally what the fuck is he going to do? He's so little that he can't even build up any momentum into any of his punches or kicks because of his short limbs. Just kicking them in the head should get you much further than 12.
Ian Davis
Because they could just start grabbing me and holding down limbs, sacrificing themselves to give others a chance
Cameron Powell
Those hands are too small to get any real grip on you though and even then what the fuck would the others do? They can't get any force behind their attacks.
Ethan Diaz
I would bring a blunt club as a main weapon. Nothing that gets stuck as to avoid getting swamped by their tiny little bodies. If chainsaws are allowed i would also bring one of them for timed AOE attacks when they get too close. If not allowed i would settle for a high pressure fire extinguisher
Levi Jenkins
Adam Powell
>mfw this thread
Dylan Ortiz
What I would give to kidnap a famous midget and make his life a living hell. I would force him to dress up in elf and leprechaun outfits and subject him to pure awfulness and humiliation. just terrible degradation and shameful acts. it would be so easy to break his spirit and drive him to suicide, but I wouldn't let him do it. if I could train a dog to rape on command then I would totally do that as well. a really big dog like a mastiff. he would be so completely and utterly powerless to stop it, not to mention terrified. a big ass dog is even scary and life-threatening to a normal human but to a midget? might as well be a dragon. I'd keep him in a cell and what's more is that I would actually place to key inside with him but put it in a high place. not extremely high but just ever so slightly out of reach. it would drive him mad. I would dress him like a baby and force feed him 99 cent store baby food. I'd also pick him up like a child and toss him from one corner to the next. I'd grab him by one leg and swing him as hard and as fast as I could then hurl him to see how far he goes. I'd rent one of those giant inflatable bounce houses and body slam him all day until my arms got tired. I'd hold him down with 1 hand and slowly stick things up his butt just to see him squirm. I would stick him in dryers and turn them on and leave him in there for long periods of time. I'd force him to fight other midgets to the death. just so many things I would do.
Matthew Johnson
Realistically their mouths still have human strength jaws and they could go piranha swarm on you if you're not carefull
Sebastian Thomas
imagine taking a truck and just peeling out into this grotesque field of goblins.
Colton Sanchez
GATTAI!!
Bentley Lopez
Same
Ryan Kelly
Why the fuck do all you hate this midge so much?
Elijah Murphy
>all these imaginations on how to most effectively kill Davis Warwick
What the fuck is the point? It's just disturbing.
Caleb Wood
I had not thought about that, that might be a problem. Kicking their teeths out might be a priority.
Justin Rogers
He should be edited further to include muscles and gigaChad features
Caleb Sullivan
Imagine seeing Warwick Davis trick-or-treating on Halloween. You run into him at the end of the street, carrying an ounce bag of sweets that are far too heavy for his stubby little arms and puny fingers. He's struggling, sweat is pouring off his deformed little forehead as he tries to get his candy home to gobble up like the gluttonous piglet that he is. You feel the rage build up in you, looking at this decrepit little gnome pulling all these sweet that should belong in the bags of human children, making little grunts in his stupid little high pitched voice. Unconsciously, you find yourself striding towards him, with venomous intent in your eyes. He catches sight of you approaching, his tiny freak head lifts slightly, you can see the fear in his eyes like a zebra looking at a lion on the hunt. In an instant, you grab him by his tiny legs and begin walking over to the curb that overlooks the street road, Warwick too weak to fight back, only whimpering. A three inch curb is nothing to a human being, but to this imp? It might as well be the White Cliffs of Dover. You lift him over your head like a sack of potatoes and you toss the little midge over the edge, and you hear his goofy high pitched yelps as he falls. He smacks his head on a snail's shell, his tiny brains splattered all over a pumpkin like a Jackson Pollock painting, the trick-or-treaters from the nearby house rush over to claim Warwick's candy. In this moment, you feel triumph.
Luke Myers
I pity his son
Parker Smith
Does he have air support?
Leo Peterson
I'm out of shape, so probably like 30 or something. With a tactical ledge, its probably up in the hundreds.
>baseball bat
>Metal buckler for shield bashing
>brass knuckles if they somehow manage to grab my bat
Gotta get annoyed after a while just listening to their screeching.
Luis Flores
Troyer = gnome
Davis = midge
Dinklage = dwarf
Andrew Sullivan
The final boss is Peter Dinklage in a mech suit. Before fighting him you get two sci fi weapons and armor of choice.
Michael Flores
its more about fighting an army of dwarves
Alexander Thomas
No, I just want to kick the shit out of Warwick
Ian Ortiz
Looks like a miniature bloat lord here
Andrew Martin
If I kept doing the people's elbow I could kill about 8 at a time. It's risky though they could swarm you for the split second after you have squashed some skulls and are prone.
I could probably taken on about 50 or 70 before getting tired of the people's elbow.
Juan Richardson
God, just imagine you're the "hottest" midget in Hollywood and then Dinklage comes along and just mogs the fuck out of you
Dylan Howard
the original christmas version was much better
Henry Thomas
>Three weapons
>Minus guns
LAWN MOWER
LAWN MOWER
Hunter Cox
Also, Peter's mech suit will be retrofitted to equal your but not totally surpass your weapons, so whatever you choose won't guarantee a curbstomp.
James Rivera
That image holy fuck lel
Daniel Martinez
I've hit the heavy bag for 45 minutes at a time before, and I reckon a Warwick would only take one strike to KO. Also, I have decent kicking power, and estimate that I could KO about 50 Warwicks per limb before they start to tire out due to lactic acid buildup.
So, in summary, I feel like it's a safe approximation that I could take on AT LEAST two hundred Warwicks.
Jose Diaz
>"hottest" midget in Hollywood
youtube.com
Oliver Perez
Being Warick Davies
Luis Cruz
I mean dwarf status aside Dinklage can have a really good-looking face.
Adrian Murphy
not even memeing this would fuck his shit up
Jackson Diaz
based
Matthew Lopez
You hear about those bees that swarm larger insects, vibrate their wings and cook their target to death with their body heat? The last thing you want is a to be several layers of Warwick deep, and they start vibrating.
Samuel Scott
Peter Dinklage's face and hair in Elf was weirdly reminiscent of my step dad at the time. Surreal desu
Oliver Gonzalez
>The last thing you want is a to be several layers of Warwick deep, and they start vibrating.
kek