This is the best monogatari opening:

Best husbando for pestering to go do some karaoke.

Sorry but the very first opening is simply unbeatable for me

it's good but decent black is better

I prefer Dark Cherry Mystery

nothing will ever come close to platinum disco bur renai circulation comes close to close

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I think that platinum disco is overrated (still enjoyable though).

nah man, you either heard it too many times or you haven't heard enough of it
it straight up causes imediate euphoria even when on drugs that- don't cause/cause only in large doses- euphoric reaction

good choice, so many good openings in monogatari

I did not hear it enough in my case so maybe I'll grow to like it more.

redpill me on how to get a mankey gf plzzzzz

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Be retarded.

This should be obvious, but she is too good to exist in our shitty world.

damn, based and checked.

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check
checked
NO

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Kaiki canonicaly front-raises 45kg.

this

Dunno about best opening, but this one was definitely the best ending
youtube.com/watch?v=S2TJ1qqeRD8

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I only like this and whiz from the opening songs. The endings aren't as catchy as the openings.
Whiz comes close to first ed imo
youtube.com/watch?v=QcI1QoOseGo

It's got good instrumentals but S class lyrics.

This is my favorite song of the entire series.
You didn't like the EDs from Nise, Neko Kuro, Neko Shiro, Otori and Owari1?