So, what's Sakura's life like after Unlimited Blade Works?

Seriously this. Also you can include HA setting where she overgrow Shinji and Zoken in terms of power and taken over rule of whole household. And they just live constantly terrified of her. In other words, her future looks far brighter than one would expect.
Tokiomi was right in the end.

Leave Sakura to Shinji

>being in a relationship with the guy who raped you
Do women really?

I like to belive something similar to Hollow Ataraxia happens. Sakura imense talent and connection with the "the origin" starts to appear, she is capable of using Matou "water" affinity and her natural "Imaginary Numbers" affinity returns... She is a much weaker version of dark sakura, but she
preserves mental stability. Zouken can see the gigantic potential, starts to train her "for real", she is no longer just tool for "Matou grail" and "Matou babies", she is the next head of Matou Family.
Shinji becomes "Sakura's pet" and obidient husband.

She probably kills herself in all honesty. The only satisfying ending for everyone involves is Heaven's Feel.

>Jirenbro is a Fatefag
OH NO NO HAHAHA

Except for any servant who isn't Rider. But they're all dead anyway, I guess

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UBW is not canon... Now, in the canon HF route, Shinji is dead so the question is meaningless. Next, please.

Zouken is dead at the end of UBW.

Eh?

After Shinji allies with Gilgamesh, they're seen in the worm basement and it's implied Gilgamesh murdered Zouken on Shinji's behalf.

Zouken's real body is inside Sakura's heart though

Sounds like Gilgamesh aimed really well then.

She ends up moving on and having a son as a result of a summer romance, but dying in childbirth. Shinji raises the child as his own in an attempt to try and atone for how he treated Sakura for so many years, until a rival mage assaults the Matou mansion expecting to find and kill Zouken. However, Zouken died years ago. Shinji is able to hide Sakura's child and pretend to be the sole surviving Matou, dying pitifully at the rival mage's mercy, but in the process saving the boy's life.

Through a series of odd coincidences, Shirou was tracking this very same mage that killed Shinji, and arrived days later at the mansion, learning of Shinji's fate. He ends up taking in the toddler, and he and Rin raise it as their own along with their daughter.

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I see what you're getting at, but the time tables don't add up.

I'm actually not getting at that, it's just that you can't find an image of Shirou and Rin with kids these days that aren't just the Gudas

How many kids?

Fair enough, I retract my previous statement.

She gave Shinji a powerful and healthy heir.

Where're the Wormcanon shitposters?

Where else? In the Rin thread he made.

Neither of the three routes are canon