Naruto Storytime Volume 34 (Part 3)

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Kill yourself, narutard.

>you woke me up for a fucking bond!?

SasukeCHADS, are you ready to ENTER?!

Bros... what's going on with my body? I'm starting to feel-NARUTO IS JUST LIKE ME

Sakura cute

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He got indoctrinated into the Naruto religion.

Shhhh.. Naruto is sleeping.

You think Sai's brother contracted the same disease Itachi has?

Sakura has a bigger cock than Naruto!

What’s wrong with aliens?

>”You woke me up to talk about bonds?”
I have VIZ so much

Winner winner chicken dinner

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Osoi.

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what theme? This is shit character development to just have one convo entirely change you

Who are you more like, bros?

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what was Sai thinking here?

based edgesuke thinking that friendship is for fags

JOIN US

THE LONGEST IN THE LEAF

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BASED

>Sasuke’s reaction when Sakura tries to cuddle him in bed

My wife.

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>the best an Anbu can do when approaching a sleeping enemy is to wake up and try to Talk no Jutsu him

Where's the good guy itachi of this volume?

Kind of cheating to put "HE'S JUST LIKE ME" and "flashbacks" in the same column

youtube.com/watch?v=mFLZ-I2r3Mc
KNEEL

That's ok, he is just like me too.

turns it into sci fi

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Talk about rude awakening

YOU ARE MAI FRIEND

YOU ARE MY FRIEND

THERE IT IS

Saibros? Why are we kneeling?

AA ANO HI NO YUME

Sci-fi is cool though

why is sakura running like a normal person?

Gods >>>>>> alienshit

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>she's obviously his favorite
That doesn't look like Sakura

HERE WE GO

Who would unironically befriend Naruto?
He never approaches anyone nor does he let people approach him easily, he's a piece of shit brat, a delinquent and a fucking faggot.
He really doesn't seem like a good person to hang out with.

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>Clacketa clacketa
Is there a puppet in the distance?

I KNEEL for the best opening

I love my wife Sakura!

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The individual is obsolete. When you and your kind are extinct, we shall cleanse our collective memory of the stain of your existence.

>this much EDGINESS

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IMA DEMOOOOO

I would be fucking livid if some fucker wakes me up from sleep to tell me about FRIENDSHIP too.

What jutsu does Sasuke use to make these explosions?

OH SHIT

>winning a fight by waking up
CHAD VIBES

Sakura is a lucky girl!

>chadsuke canonically throws temper tantrums and blows up there whole hide out when he gets mad

You don't understand, he's
JUST
LIKE
ME
MEEEEEEEEEE
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Oh someone posted about it with the gay comic. It wasn't in the volume, but it was in the thread

>you know realize the reason Orochimaru didn't bother fighting is because Sasuke gets real cranky when he's disturb from his slumber

I KNEEL

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YOU ARE MY FRIEND

Didn't Sasuke get an ENTER?

IT'S HAPPENING
Enter count about to be broken

Probably some fireball since Sai is unharmed

awful

MIsuketa

aw dat don't count

BOW DOWN MORTAL

>just have one convo entirely change you
I mean, Sai was a progressive shift, and this isn't the end of his development. The ends in the War.
He goes from intentionally antagonizing the group, to cooperating to keep cover, to creating his own goal, even if it is to better understand human emotions through Naruto and Sasuke's bond.
His character thematically is a potshot at people who are all logic and no emotion, which ties back into the ninjas as tools motif. He's the opposite of the admirable Obito, White Fang, and later Kkashi, who were prepared to sacrifice the mission to save their teammates. He only sees the mission and can't see the people. He is a tool that sees everyone else as tools ready to be disposed of if they begin to be a liability.

YOU ARE MY FRIEND

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WET PUSSY SOON

Ooh, okay, sorry, well almost bingo!

What jutsu did he use to make this big explosion? I don’t think he uses a single jutsu that could do this in the manga, besides Susano’o

BRAAAAAAAP

EVERYDAY kono saki mo SHINING DAY

>FAP

Why is it that Sakura is only sexy when other people transform into her?

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>tfw Sakura got pounded and knocked up by Sasuke's legendary before you
It's not fair...

>I mean, Sai was a progressive shift, and this isn't the end of his development. The ends in the War.
Sai barely exists by the War arc.

We got the column tho

Well
well
well

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YOU ARE MY DREAM AAA

FAP

Best opening.

My wife's eyes are so beautiful.

>Well well well,
Viz making Sasuke sound cartoonishly evil here

He didn't fuck or kiss her, though.

ENTER

Nother' clean up on Aisle 14!

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WELL WELL WELL IF IT ISN'T MY FUTURE WIFE

EVERY DAY

E

GG Narusaku

>so shocked that your nose disappears

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Why is the dullest franchise in the history of manga franchises being storytime? Seriously each volume following the boy ninja and his pals from Konoha as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make ninjutsu magical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Kishimoto vetoed the idea of his editor directing the series; he made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody? Just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for his books. The Naruto series might be anti-moe(or not), but it’s certainly the anti-One-Piece series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the volumes are terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character goes against Naruto's beliefs, Kishimoto later writes the same character recalling a (dead) person and calling Naruto "he's just like him."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Kishimoto's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that he has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Naruto by the same Yoshihiro Togashi. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Naruto at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Hunter x Hunter." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Naruto" you are, in fact, trained to read Hunter x Hunter.

There goes her character

THANK YOU MY FRIEND

Because the real Sakura is flat with no tits.

WET

why won't he enter bros

No, the issue is his development is put in as the first division fight in the War. Most early fights in the war were forgotten as it's a 200 chapter long arc with a majority of its major moments involving the MC in the final 10 volumes. Sai, the Seven Swordsmen, the resurrected Kage, etc. are all forgotten because they're in the build up.

N

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>I now have an urge to stand there praying and crying in every opening from now on

christ he's really milking the reveal

>Sasuke is so beautiful.

I GO THE DISTANCE

Just enter already

Okay, I know they care, but they don't need to look like they're staring at a divine figure from heaven above.

Sauce's cowboy theme makes more sense after that well well well

THE TENSION

I don't remember any of it and I don't care. Sai is unimportant and his development begins and ends in this arc.

T

And then Karinfags got eternally btfo. Gaiden threads were legendary.

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>OH NO HE’S HOT

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...

Sai's character died officially in this chapter right?

whatsit supposed to say then?

For fucks sake I need to go to the shitter hurry up Sauce

REALLY MILKING IT

are you shitting me

>Oof!

OOF

SASUKE-SAMA PLEASE TAKE MY VIRGINITY

>OOF

E

AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE M-MY FRIEND..! HE'S HERE

>Naruto trips again
Really? Holy shit just get to the point.

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>Naruto spent the a whole day fucking Shizune
Guys...He's just like me

Can we compile a list of all the times a character trips in this manga?

Jesus fucking christ

It’s just so unfitting for the rest of the series about mythological ninjas. Just her being a goddess would already make it 10 times better.

BOW DOWN TO YOUR JESUS CHRISTO

OOF

holy shit he really milked it

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Gotta have the parallel with his wife

HOLY SHIT GET ON WITH IT ALREADY

Naruto's knees are kneeling on their own!

ENT

GET ON WITH IT

R

AHHH DROP IT ALREADY KISHI

>kneeling preemtively

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JUST

E N T E

OH GOD

FUUUUUCK

Is Naruto gonna masturbate?

yes

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This page doesnt even flow well from the previous one.
He cant even milk a scene right.

Did this nigga really wake me up to talk about fucking bonds?

>filthy peasants

>sasuke puked out sarada and told sakura to go nuts
based

GIANT UCHICHA

Kek

He already killed himself before

CAN WE GET ANOTHER BUCKET FOR AISLE 14?

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>turns around and its just a sasuke lookalike

Love yourself, Naruchad

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This is unironically even worse than THE HEART.

ENTER MY FRIEND
ENTER MY DREAM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>that lack of detail

Go do your paperwork, lord seventh.

SASUKECHADS
WE
ENTER

We are almost entering bros

ENTER

What's Yamato waiting for?

ENTER

See, this is what I was talking about earlier. With all this padding it's easy to hit milestones.

ENTER HOKAGE LEVEL SAUCE

>Exactly the same

E N T E R
N
T
E
R
CHADSUKE

ENTER

ENTER

E N T E R

P E A K
E N T E R

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT KISHI

ENTER

SUS STYLE ENTER JUTSU

EEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR

SASUKE!

THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, THE TRUE MAIN CHARACTER!

ENTER HOMOSEX

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No romantic couple in Naruto (or any other Jump series) ever got this much dramatic treatment

MADA

WA SURETENAINDESHO

ENTER FINALLY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ENTER

HE'S HERE
ENTER SASUCHAD

He’s still hot, good.

ENTER

ENTER MY FRIEND

>*roaring applause from the audience intensifies*

ENTER GODSUKE

ENTER

THE HEART
I mean...
No I am sticking with that

ENTER

ENTER HUSBAND

ENTER SASUKE "SPOOKBUSTER" UCHIHA

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ENTER MY FRIEND

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THERE HE IS

why the fuck did it take the main character so long to appear??

ENTER
SASUKE THE TRUE PROTAGONIST

Finally the main character has returned.

ENTER!

ENTER
N
T
E
R

ENTRA

he does look somewhat derpy

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What's the next biggest ENTER? Obito? Pain? Madara?

ENTER Sauske's gay ass outfit

> oh muh Uchiha twink

CONTINUE ENTERING

This outfit is terrible

Finally the real MC is here

ENTERBROS I'M CUMMING!

ENTER AGAIN

ENTER

JEsus christ Kishi what the fuck is this chapter?

ENTER #2

Most popular character, enter!
Why is he dressed like a whore?

ENTER

Enter fagboy

Looking back this outfit is pretty neat

SEX

>not a single fucking shadow in sight

YOU ARE MY FRIEN

THE FOE OF FANFICS
THE SLAYER OF SELF INSERTERS
BOW TO YOUR NEW FUCKING CHAMPION
ENTER CHADSUKE

ENTER THE MC