Naruto Storytime Volume 36 (Part 2)

If Hidan killed Asuma right now then Kakuzu could have just slaughtered the rest of those chucklefucks

Madara's stinky socks after a long battle

So why didn't they call one of the other 19 squads before engaging the enemy?

What cult? He's just like me, that's all

Based!

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Man Hidan is a shitty ninja by all rights, he would be a dead man without his immortality and Kakazu

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Honestly they should have bailed the moment Kakuzu stepped in

Daily reminder this is the last arc where pic related doesn't play a central role.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

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THREAD THEME:
youtube.com/watch?v=kmL3EuiiWXM

THE FOURTH BEST OP, PROBABLY

ENGLISH VERSION:
youtube.com/watch?v=lwvOhFHsfRM

Love how Kakuzu calls it in the first minute of the fight. He knows a lost cause when he sees it

no way. hos talk no jutsu is shit even compaired to other shounens

>they have a guy with them thats able to cast water waves from his mouth
>they never use them to fucking erase the blood circle

What the fuck is wrong with all the konoha ninjas???

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Is Asuma insane?

>Fap
Whoa there Hidan.

Lets get these threads to 1K replies to make jannies seethe :^)

Why didn't the monk who witnessed their fighting style give zero intel? Hidan used his ritual to kill the other guy right infront of them.

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Hidan believes in his god just like how Naruto believes in Sasuke.

Maybe Naruto and Hidan aren't so different...

Whoa.

AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hes busy fighting the one inside him.

>Not liking eyehax shit

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ENTER best justu in the series

I'm glad this comes with instructions so my gaijin brain can understand what direction to go

>Reused footage
Yuck

It should be obvious by now what's going on. Peanut Gallery DO SOMETHING!

CRAWLING

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since kakazu was there he probably did not use much of his powers

They don't have the 80 IQ like Shikamaru, so they can't figure shit like that out.

Shes real cute but she needs to stop cutting her fucking hair.

Was Shikamaru really necesary to fucking understand what the fuck was happening???

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What information did Jiraiya actually gather in those 2.5 years he didn't train Naruto?

Its hard to feel sad about Asumas death when it could have been easily avoided if these guys werent retards

Hidan only won this fight cause of plot lets be real, no way braincel Shikamaru shouldnt have sniffed out that circle ritual bullshit instantly or made a plan to instantly decapitate Hidan the moment he had him trapped in the shadow possesion

Kill yourself, narutard.

1)Plot-induced stupidity
2)Kishi can't risk them overshadowing Shikamaru by stating the obvious

So this guy is just Baron Samedi, right?

Even funnier because Kishi has said that the arc got rushed in order to show more Sasuke.

AIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE

K R U N C H

Is the spike also part of the jutsu?

>ecstasy
How big is Hidan's boner right now?

Serioulsy Hidan's jutsu isn't even hard to grasp, its the most straightforward shit there is

>AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEE

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He could've just killed Asuma right here

>Itachi permanently de-spookified Sasuke when he sealed Orochimaru
Damn, I guess he really did have his little brother's best interests at heart

>everyone got a shitty hair cut in their middle age

actually pretty realistic

idiots

>something weird's happening
Goddamn these fuckers are at Naruto level IQ right now.

DO SOMETHING JESUS YOUR FUCKING CAPTAIN IS DYING RIGHT THERE

Hidan's ability seems more like a forbidden jutsu than something from a God.

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Hidan should've just let Asuma cut off his head here. Instawin

He is sadist

Naruto's only really bad at theory stuff like chakra natures and shit. He understands a battle just fine.

Asuma's kinda really underwhelming

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If this links their bodies, does that mean that while Hidan's justu is active, you're just like him?

Based leaf chads letting Asuma have his one on one

Asumachads we WILL avenge our monk bro

Do they really need a moment to think on this?

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Hidan is just casually fapping on the battlefield

Water Style users would body Hiden hard, should have contracted some Mist ninja to take Hidan out

it is from a god that is why he is also immortal otherwise it would be useless

>SHIKAMARU DO SOMETHING!?!
Well at least they've stopped twiddling their thumbs.

Boy you know what non-contact jutsu would be good against Hidan?

Genjutsu.

Hinatas better

Minato's location.

Naruto is drawing on a Buddhist motif when it delves into reincarnation. Given that Buddhism is an Eastern philosophy, most Westerners won't recognize it and miss Kishimoto blatantly putting the concept of Buddhist Recurrence into use.
Naruto and Sasuke were always reincarnations of Hashirama and Madara, or at the very least since their fight. And this isn't a "haha Japs are super smart", no, this is like if I wrote a story where a character died in the same pose as Jesus and then had them come back to life through unexplained means three days later. In countries that don't practice Christianity and Catholicism, that'd be an asspull, but here, that'd be an on the nose motif.

only non kohona jounin jobbers are gai and occasionally kakashi

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What the fuck is going on? Why are they just standing there letting Asuma get wrecked?? Use a FUCKING ninjutsu!!!

You know, I used to shit on him for not following his parents only and last request before slaughtering them but now I see how he took care of him so kindly.

Reminder that Kakuzu fought Hashirama but got bodied by this job squad

Don't bait them user, Sakura is practically a glorified side character right now. Let them have what they can.

Question, what if he fought someone who regenerates like Wolverine? Or that can just 'Willpower LOL' survive?

why is kakazu surprised?

So is jashin an alien?

Someone post that SD Hidan where his dick gets chopped by a fan.

You’d think more people would try to figure out the existence of any other gods since Hidan got pretty good results out of his

Then Asuma would be feeling the dick strokes and pleasure, too? That's really, REALLY gay

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>ninja would be weak without his strongest abilities

bro Kurenai's not only a woman but also a pregnant one, no way she could pull off a successful genjutsu in that state

AIIIIEEEEEE JUST BUMP INTO HIDAN, ANYTHING OH MY GOD

YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS YOU RETARDS

What the fuck was kakuzu doing with all that money btw? They don’t have a house or can be around buying shit

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He can die if he doesn't eat, and he doesn't regrew limbs. And we don't even know if Hidan can age and die. It just seems like a "no sell" to damage.

He only managed to get info on the guys kakazu kept killing

Not this again.

hookers and blow

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He wants that 100 grand from Asuma's corpse and Hidan is going to fuck it up
Do the balls touch?

Man, sure would be nice if someone just like threw a kunai at the circle he was standing in. Something.

>THAT'S IT!
>SHIKAMARU! I THINK NARUTO IS RELATED TO THE FOURTH!

Hey, those Amegakure folks need to eat.

DO SOMETHING FUCKERS

But neither Sasuke nor Itachi are openly allied with the Leaf, so who would do it? There's nobody else in this series who's shown they can use genjutsu worth a damn

Good thing I'm Asian and can call you out on your "it's from the East you won't understand it" bullshit.
A parallel is not reincarnation, otherwise Naruto is a reincarnation of: Gaara, Obito, Nawaki, etc.
Not to mention Madara's not even dead.

controll the economy

Kakuzu just being a fodder spectacor

He got bodied by Nardo

there's not even any urgency in killing Hidan and Kakuzu right here and now, is there? They could always run away and come back later with a better thought out plan.

RUN UP AND TAKE HIS WEAPONS RETARDS

There's a lot of trash in this arc but the fakeout where hidan actually does kill asuma was pretty hype in the anime.

Asucuck finna boutta get BTFO

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Only high iq ninjas and uchihas can use them without complications.

>Do nothing
>Already calling for back up
Jesus christ the absolute state of this operation

>Izumo and Koetsu casually talking about backup instead of trying to disarm Hidan

WELL DONE KISHI- I MEAN SHIKAMARU

based

There really isn't anything they could do to Kakuzu here even if they did manage to stop Hidan's ritual. Kakuzu just wants to enjoy the show.

>The enemy is too strong, they're going to kill us!
>We should flee, captain!
>If we flee they'll kill us, we have to fight!
No shit Shikamaru is a genius, surrounded by these people.

((Banking))

Shouldn't Kakashi be able to do genjutsu well?
Also staffing isn't relevant for this since they don't know that they're fighting Hidan beforehand.
OTOH Aren't genjutsu part of the ninja curriculum?

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WHY ARE THEY JUST THERE WATCHING AZUMA BEING DESTROYED??????

Get rid of the fucking symbol on the ground that he OBVIOUSLY DREW BEFORE THE TRANSFORMATION.

JUST THROW SOME WATER OVER THE GIANT FUCKING CIRCLE

Can't they do something to the circle or did I speedread

If only Tobirama was there with his fast teleports

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How about you do something to the obvious fuck off evil circle he's very carefully placed himself in?

>You have to kill the caster
JUST DESTROY THE DAMN CIRCLE!!!

>Not to mention Madara's not even dead.
He was dead, you chink faggot. He was only revived later during the War. Sasuke was born after Madara's death.

This fight is kinda fucking lame.

I don't know Shikamaru, does the giant blood circle Hidan is standing in not look like a limitation to you?

I thought he actually died before sasuke was born.

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Lol at kakazu getting in on the melodrama

I feel the FUGgaku meme is going to become unfunny at the rate things are going. By now everyone expects it and will see it coming, like jumpscares.

it's not even a jutsu retards, he literally said it's a ritual after making the circle+triangle

>in the end he gets away

Izumo or Kotetsu have some sort of syrup powers, I am not joking

All this time and Kakuzu is just there chilling on the back

He's fighting back against ((Senjew)) influence

This whole fight felt so tiresome.
>Other two konoha clowns not trying anything
>Kazuzu just watching instead of killing them on the spot

Shikamaru you're overthinking this shit, just destroy the damn circle.

>why did Tsunade send a 4 man team to deal with the Akatsuki
>how did not a single person know about the immortal duo
>why didn’t Jiraiya relay ANY information he collected about Hidan and Kakazu
>why didn’t Shikamaru come up with a plan before engaging
>why didn’t they decapitate Hidan immediately upon capture
>why didn’t they just retreat when Kakazu stepped in
>why didn’t they notice the giant fucking ritual circle on the floor

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Shikamaru activating his sharingan

>what should we do

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Why isn't he using Shadow Possession?

You useless fucks
Does Shikamaru ever get angry at them for being such deadweight after this?

>The meaning behind all of his actions
Like how he drew a big ass symbol on the ground maybe? Could be significant.

7000 IQ

>how stupid people write intelligent people
>brain works like magic, idk

Spooked. Reminder that the bulk majority of "elite" ninja are only capable of an elemental justu or two and some middling taijutsu and weapon skill. This curse shit is an anomaly they've likely never even considered as a thing that could exist. Of course they don't even want to go near it

>otherwise Naruto is a reincarnation of: Gaara, Obito, Nawaki, etc.
Christ, your reading comprehension skills are abysmal. Didn't realize Pinoys were this fucking stupid. They don't even possess the mental capacity to properly interpret a powerfantasy written for literal 12 year olds.

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I doubt destroying the circle would do much. Hidan already completed the ritual by then. He had the blood on him .

Honestly Asuma deserves to die, at this point I'm rooting for Hiddan

>A parallel is not reincarnation, otherwise Naruto is a reincarnation of: Gaara, Obito, Nawaki, etc.
That's not what I was saying and you know it.
Naruto and Sasuke are explicitly referred to as being in a cycle, that Madara and Hashirama also participated in. Buddhist Recurrence. This is different from the parallels you mention, those showcase Naruto's ability to understand people, but in that instance, Naruto isn't understanding Hashirama and Sasuke isn't understanding Madara. They're unknowingly being pushed into the paths those two walked.
>Not to mention Madara's not even dead.
He died some time before Obito attacked Konoha, and Sasuke was born a short while before then.

If Tobirama was there, Kakuzu would've shat his pants and ran away.

Really missing the forest for the trees there Shikamaru

What the fuck? Does Shikamaru really needs to do this critical thinking to know this guy does religious hex shit?

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why didnt they just run over and fuck up that big circle he drew.

THERE'S A FUCK HUGE CIRCLE YOU FUCKING RETARD

Everyone is

Cute. He would have ended this fight in seconds. As expected from the best Hokage.

WHAT COULD IT ALL MEAN

Hidan explicity needs to be on top of the circle to do his vodoo shit user

> +200 IQ CHARACTER

With Hidan literally EXPLAINING his powers, even a retard would've guessed how his jutsu works

It's even funnier in Bleach, where enemies spend their last breath dying, explaining how their power works

The ritual literally stops working when he's out of the circle.

>it's a midwit mangaka writes a "smart" character

Shikamarubros... I'm starting to think Konoha IQ tests have slightly bloated scores

I'm sorry, but is the blood circle invisible to them?

Yeah but Kakuzu's there so even if they did the Water Jutsu, it wouldn't do much

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>Trust Shikamaru to have solved this riddle of the fucking sphinx
Fuck these people. They deserve to fucking die.

>3 Billion IQ BIG BRAIN PLAYS GOING ON HERE
PUSH HIM OUT OF THE CIRCLE

All of a sudden Naruto doesn't look that stupid anymore with that competition.

I HATE SHIMAKAMARU SO FUCKING MUCH!!!

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wait he still has not figured out its a magic curse?
shikamaru bros we are supposed to have a 9000 IQ

>religious trickery is too much for the literal 200 IQ character to comprehend
kek

He's cool

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(((Kakuzu))) is a (((crypto jew)))

I mean yeah, he is retarded
But its more sad his death was completely avoidable than deserved

HE'S A VODOO MAN SHIKAMARU NO NEED TO GO GALAXY BRAIN OVER THIS

>If you have a problem, don't know which way to go, you think and think and think and think, and suddenly you know! Come on, Shikamaru, Think!

>Not to mention Madara's not even dead.
Lol.

its a shame because shikamaru during the chunin exams is actually written smart and his battles were clever

Just kick him out of the weird circle, man, is not hard

I might start a "dumb writers writing smart characters" folders and start with this.

This is just hilarious.

FUCKING DO IT ALREADY GOD DAMN

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i've heard he's big into stock trading

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Imagine if these jobbers encountered kisame or deidara this same way.
Over in seconds

SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! THIS GUY DOESNT DESERVE TO BE WANKED THIS MUCH!

CHECKMATE ATHEISTS

This needs some x-files music.

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>Naruto and Sasuke are explicitly referred to as being in a cycle, that Madara and Hashirama also participated in. Buddhist Recurrence. This is different from the parallels you mention, those showcase Naruto's ability to understand people, but in that instance, Naruto isn't understanding Hashirama and Sasuke isn't understanding Madara. They're unknowingly being pushed into the paths those two walked.
That's still a parallel, like the Sannin and Team 7, who end up also walking very similar paths.
>He died some time before Obito attacked Konoha, and Sasuke was born a short while before then.
I'll take an L on this one since I remember the timeline wrong.

>I can't believe he was able to physically do something and think at the same time.
Good God...

Based Togashi, filtering plebs

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Kishimoto cannot understand smart people

Damn, where's a ninja info card when you need it?

Why doesn't Shikamaru just give Hidan the God Delusion and destroy him with FACTS and LOGIC

Holy shit this is even worse.

What comic book is this from?

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I just forgot that Kakuzo was just that, chilling and probably laughing inside

This feels like actual parody