WE'RE LOOKING FOR A TEAM PLAYER

>WE'RE LOOKING FOR A TEAM PLAYER

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>MUST BE ABLE TO WORK FLEXIBLE HOURS

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>ENJOY 104 DAYS OFF A YEAR

>looking for someone with real passion in the space

>MUST HAVE YOUR OWN WORK TRUCK/VAN >THIS IS A 1099 POSITION

>unlimited vacation time

>MUST BE FAMILIAR WITH MICROSOFT OFFICE

>GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS

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Holy fuck this. I have this "unlimited vacation" and havent been able to take more than 4 days off in over a year.

>LOOKING FOR A ROCKSTAR

>Looking for a master developer fluent in [8] languages
>6 years experience
>Junior Developer

it's a scam. always has been

>i- i..i work well with others and alone

kek

> "We're looking for a Zig Forums neet with extensive knowledge of the films of Anri Okita whose solitary at home drug use pushes him closer and closer to shooting up an office"

>WE'RE A FAMILY HERE

I will commit suicide before returning to "work"

>Looking for a 20 year old with 40 years of experience in GPT3, AI & Machine Learning

>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEED A SALARY MAAAAAAAAAAAAN? YOUR .1% STAKE WILL BE WORTH A BILLION WHEN WE ARE AT LE APPLE MARKET CAP

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my greatest weakness? sometimes i try TOO hard

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I have a few friends who got memed by this too.

Although I work kind of a shitty job (tinbasher on commercial buildings), it's in my union agreement that I can take as much time off as I want as long as I give one week notice. We don't get paid vacation time, rather we get around $100 each cheque as 'vacation pay', but it ends up being the same thing basically and we don't get fucked for not taking time off
It's the only job I've heard of that actually has unlimited vacation time. I could fuck off for a month if I wanted to, and it would actually be illegal for my company to fire me without giving me a 6 months pay severance buyout (I think, it could honestly be more with my seniority, I haven't looked at my union agreement in forever)

Literally tried applying to be a dish washer (27 yo NEET), but it says 'Experience working in a kitchen and working within a busy environment is essential.'.

Does washing up in my own kitchen count?

>.1% STAKE
if you're lucky
lmao
what a scam
crypto is heavensent

>WE DON'T WANT A "YES MAN"

>casual fun fridays!

Just apply anyways dude. They just put things like this in there so they aren't flooded with a million resumes. No one actually expects there to be a candidate with 5 years dishwashing experience or something stupid like that.

It's even easier than doing dishes at home too, you basically just load up a dishwasher all day long

>virtual happy hour at 18:00

Hahaha wagies

working as a dishwasher fucking sucks. my restaurant never let me put in earbuds despite only being talked to like twice my whole shift. I quit that job and went back to being a NEET

kek

>Want 4 years of experience developing mobile app software
>Also experience with multiple database technologies (MySQL, Elasticsearch, MongoDB)
>Also experience with Linux, Windows, Mac, iOS, and Android
>Also experience with 5 programming languages
>Also experience with network architecture
>Frontend development experience a plus
>Must be familiar with monitoring tools like Prometheus
In what job would you get such varied experience

Why is it so difficult to find a great job that's not a scam?

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>Why is it so difficult to find a great job that's not a scam?
nearly all jobs are scams
the market is a scam
cashflow owners can outwait you and you will starve
we are slaves to corporations

It's so they can lowball you since you don't have all the requirements

Fuck i want out as quickly as possible
I need more funds for crypto

>happy hour
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE AFTER SPENDING 9 HOURS WITH THEM???

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>Entry level
>Must have 4 years experience

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