Be me

Thanks for making me feel based user

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See this is one of those threads where it seems like a LARP bc of the event described, but OP describes it so genuinely it doesn’t seem like a LARP at the same time.

If it’s real, yeah that sucks OP. But think .. 5 years down the line will this really matter? No way. You’ll have another girl by then. A better one. It’s surprising how quickly things get memory holed.

pee pee poo poo

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nasty

It’s not a larp user, I done goofed and am farting right now and it feels weird in my new underwear idk wtf I ate I’m not usually like this but I fucked up and this is going on my cringe folder for the rest of my life

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Based

OP, i went on a "date" with this girl i had been crushing on for YEARS and her friend was there. we did a movies and chill type of thing. for some reason i get anxiety diarrhea whenever im nervous as fuck, like for job interviews or whatever i'll have to piss and shit every hour until after the event is over.
well, the whole day at work before meeting this girl and her friend (whos also hot as fuck of course), i had anxiety diarrhea. could not stop shitting all day, and they were the type of shits where i had to wipe my ass so much that my ass hurt and was definitely getting a rash.
during the dinner they said something smells, i was like "Like what?"
we got to the movies and i went to the bathroom, wiped my ass to be safe, which hurt like fuck. i could tell i was probably smelling like shit but not much i could do about it. sat in between the two hot women during the movie, not knowing if i smelled like utter shit or not. i did have a little cologne on so it mightve helped mask it a little.
they never said anything specific but a few months later i saw the girl again and she complimented my smell (was wearing her fav cologne) and she made some comment like "you always smell nice. well, usually"
i think she smelled my shitty pants and was too nice to say anything.
she bought a house last month and invited me to move in with her.

>can't control when to poop
>smells like poop
Congrat's user, you're at the same level as animals.

I wish this was the case, but I was indeed wearing cologne and it didn’t go down like this...
I’m sorry I just wanted to fart after having some beers

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too much anal

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I farted during head once. only the second time i did anything sexual with her too.

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How can he profit from this?

This was a pretty based post op not gonna lie. I need something to distract myself from the link dumps

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lol how did she react? I've come very close to farting but never quite. I think the girl I'm with would probably laugh it off. She's farted while we're making out by accident, but that's different that having your head there.

normally i'd feel sorry for you

but with lockdown I haven't been on a date in so long that i'm still envious regardless

put me in the screencap bump

>business and finance

>Business and Finance

Bullish for adult diapers, buy them stocks

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Wash your ass after taking a shit you disgusting animal

One time i was walking with this girl too my home. All of the sudden i had to shit. I took her bicycle without explanation and biked to my home. Full blast diarrhea. Needless to say we never fucked even tho everything was pointing to us fucking. Feelsbadman

If you have anxiety shits you cancel the date moron. I have severe ibs and i am on a restricted diet. No more anxiety shits for me by the way. Apparently gluten make my anxiety shitting go through the roof. Now im gluten free and. I havent anxiety shitted in more than a year