My piece of shit boss just put me on a PIP (performance improvement program)

My piece of shit boss just put me on a PIP (performance improvement program)

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What kind of work?

Time to buy some Link and become his boss then kek

code monkey

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Some people say next step after PIP is being fired, gl user

Sorry bro. My workplace got rid of pips for some retarded reason right before I started working there so I’ve been doing nothing for about a year with no repercussions.

Not holding SUTER I guess?

you are the envy of other wagecucks

you can improve user
tomorrows a new day - lets PUT SOME EFFORT in here, k?

based

Did you deserve it? If not, you don’t let another man shit in your yard. Bury that motherfucker innawoods.

Supervisor here (hopefully not your boss) and I had to recently put someone on a PIP. They've been a bad fit for a long time, it took awhile for HR to give me the green light to do something about it. My intention is to document and terminate, not coach. Sorry bud, but good chance you're out soon.

I'm so fucking done with my gay ass jew boss and his bullshit and i'm halfway out the door already. if he pulls any bullshit like raising my insurance premiums or gives me a shitty performance review i might just straight up quit. been working this entire time onsite for 0 (zero) hazard pay and apparently they're starting to jew out on things like 401k matching and raises. i'm very close to just fucking quitting

He’s trying to fire you.

hehe more for me none for thee
t. your boss

I got put on a performance monitoring plan but it's just because there were no contracts coming in to assign to me. It's not really in my control. When a project is assigned to me, I work the project and stack hours, but you automatically are put on notice when you have less than 40% billable hours over the last X months. I have projects now so it's fixing itself.

Time to start putting some feelers out there for a new job. You're on borrowed time now.

What's stopping you?

Say that the reason you're having a bad time is because you're coming out as transgender and then start transitioning

Honestly, being a wagie is pretty easy, its like life on easy mode
sure it sucks, and its boring as shit, but all you got to do is act like a retard and always do the bare minimum
the more I think about it the more hellish it feels

pathetic lil wagie. has to improve his performance. everyone MOCK the poor lil wagie

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If you get fired you get unemployemnt moneyz. No point quitting until you find another job.

i'm planning on waiting out the rest of the year to save up some money. i'm in an online web development program so i'll be quitting at some point to focus on it full-time but i'd prefer to have more money in the bank first. also bonuses and 401k matches are given out in December/January. I got around $5k total last year so it would be helpful to get that again this year but i'm not holding my breath.

Start looking for a new job now

Even if you manage to meet the criteria your boss has a poor view of you and will kill any chance of getting a good raise in the future. At your next job remember it's not about how hard you work, it's about how well you interact with management

I did this and then got served one anyway.
The thing is, I always interview constantly with other companies to make sure I have somewhere to jump to if people start getting too suspicious. I feel like the king of playing the system.
“Work” remote. Do 5-10 hours of Real work a week as I “get up to speed.” Do freelance work on company time to essentially get paid twice and with benefits. Do just enough to not be fireable immediately, always flash a bit of higher potential by knocking one project out of the park every quarter or so, but do subpar, minimal work otherwise. This is the perfect balance as management 1) sees potential so they think “well, at least he can sometimes do great work” And 2) “but he’s also not an immediate threat to my senior position because he’s inconsistent in delivery”. This makes you the perfect employee to keep on because you’re only half useless instead of 100% useless, and you aren’t a threat to them.
Eventually this does run out, but that’s what you always have the next company to jump to.
I’ve been in four software positions over 11 years and have maybe written 10,000 lines of code in total. That’s probably being generous. In that time I’ve made just under $900,000 (and will hit $1MM career earnings within a year from now). Just make sure you do this with new-age gay companies, not old school ones that actually know how to run a business where my lazy ass would get kicked to the curb after two weeks max.

>Eventually this does run out, but that’s what you always have the next company to jump to.
>I’ve been in four software positions over 11 years and have maybe written 10,000 lines of code in total.
To clarify, this is only for my official companies. I actually take my freelance work seriously.

I'm just going to stay home and flip shitcoins while jerking off to furry porn

What you're describing is a fuckton of work, hats off to you good sir

So are you just not doing what you've been asked after telling your boss you'd do x in y time? If so its your fault and you have nobody to vlane but yourself. Or do you just suck and not follow style guidelines or do stupid shit like not check in anything to the remote repo and lose all your progress from the past week?

Sorry man, no matter what you're gone. A PIP is just an HR ready excuse to fire your ass. That way they can say they tried. Seen it a million times

Where do you find freelance work? Also, how does your employer not find out?

>new-age gay companies

Are we talking like Google, Apple, etc.?

Just find short, quick tasks (

I’ve considered that but as a burger, work-provided insurance is too important to ignore.

Are you permanent ?
If so, how long ?
You might be able to get redundancy payout

why do you work so much at a fixed rate?
I thought the whole idea of being rich is getting more time to yourself
you got mad gains, I respect it, but I can't imagine doing what you're doing even though I have the same position possible

>Just find short, quick tasks (

>I did this and then got served one anyway.
>The thing is, I always interview constantly with other companies to make sure I have somewhere to jump to if people start getting too suspicious. I feel like the king of playing the system.
>“Work” remote. Do 5-10 hours of Real work a week as I “get up to speed.” Do freelance work on company time to essentially get paid twice and with benefits. Do just enough to not be fireable immediately, always flash a bit of higher potential by knocking one project out of the park every quarter or so, but do subpar, minimal work otherwise. This is the perfect balance as management 1) sees potential so they think “well, at least he can sometimes do great work” And 2) “but he’s also not an immediate threat to my senior position because he’s inconsistent in delivery”. This makes you the perfect employee to keep on because you’re only half useless instead of 100% useless, and you aren’t a threat to them.
>Eventually this does run out, but that’s what you always have the next company to jump to.
>I’ve been in four software positions over 11 years and have maybe written 10,000 lines of code in total. That’s probably being generous. In that time I’ve made just under $900,000 (and will hit $1MM career earnings within a year from now). Just make sure you do this with new-age gay companies, not old school ones that actually know how to run a business where my lazy ass would get kicked to the curb after two weeks max.

This is basically what I'm doing right now.

I'm lazy as fuck, but can talk the talk and occasionally deliver. How I think about it: I'm pretty sure companies are making so much off of software + can't find enough hires that the bar becomes "do you produce more than net zero value?"

oh durr, just saw you said upwork

They are.
They work for nothing. But work output is generally as shit as shit can be.
Even if you do get some work, it isn't worth it.