Divorce

>divorce
>judge orders me to give half of all my crypto to her

What the fuck do i do

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How to they know how much you have? If they don't, wash most of it through monero and give up a portion to wife to please the judge.

put it into monero and say you forgot the private keys.

>kill her

Iykyk

Put half in a wallet. Give her the key and tell her to figure it out

This is what we call a LARP
OP is retarded if true

'lose' your private keys. Act ignorant

Turn it into Monero and hide it, unless they already know about all of your accounts.

trade half to XRP and give her that

buy another trezor/ledger, move the coins to that new wallet, turn over old wallet with the words to the judge to prove you got hacked and nothing is in your wallet anymore.

Don't file a police complaint claiming they can't do shit anyways and you don't want to spend energies into that as well as building yourself up after your divorce.

First of all, Larp.

Second of all, double murder-suicide. Kill the judge and you're wife.

convert it in an indian poo coin, give them to her, then convert it back to BTC

Makes me wonder. How does this stuff work in instances where the judge can't touch your funds? Be it some super secure crypto wallet or you have all of my money buried in the backyard?

Seems to me that the only avenues of attack are getting the bank to hand over your money, garnishing your wages, or (very simply) just throwing you in prison until you give up the codes / location of the money in your backyard.

Set up a wallet with weth, send an approval transaction that approves spending of weth to your own wallet, hand over the weth wallet, and later transfer the weth back to yourself since you're an approved spender

Retarded boomer judges dont know crypto aside from being a taxable asset a la stocks

How do u think jeff bezos’ exwife got so rich?

She got half of Bezos’ digital assets like stocks

Jeff deserves it for cheating on his wife who stood by him his entire life for a BOG woman.

You get jailed for contempt

boating incident.

>based "lost all my virtual coins in a boating accident' user

i mean... its kind of hard to remember all 12 of those words right, user?

Hope this is bait. No man should be dumb enough to fall for the marriage meme

you go to jail. the same applies if you withdrawal it in cash and light it on fire.

Way too many factors. How much do you have, where do you have it, how much do they know you have, how much have you reported to the IRS, etc. The colder the wallets, the more decentralized the exchanges you used, the more you get to keep. Monero is your last hope.

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>marriage
>2021

Obvious bait.

"Lose" your private keys they have no way of accessing your money and they cant even prove you have it in the first place.

Just buy a bunch rug pull tokens for nothing then send her it and tell
Her that you were scammed done

Send it all to a burner adress and blow your brains out in court

>wallet was $15 of bsv

>Buy a fuckload of scam shitcoins.
>Give her half.
>Get your half back to good coins.
>Watch her flounder.

>Sorry sir I lost my private keys in a unfortunate fishing accident

Move whatever you can to a hard wallet and say you lost 3/4ths of it due to bad trades and give her half of that fourth

LOL

convert it all to coomcoin

That's perjury.

buy xmr and say you lost access to the trezor