Hello, Zig Forums. Today I present you with a challenge: get yourself elected president of a diverse alien world.
Hello, Zig Forums. Today I present you with a challenge: get yourself elected president of a diverse alien world
Aiden Bailey
Bentley Carter
Once we get past the introductory stuff, I'll take responses on a first-come-first-served basis.
Jordan Cook
Besides humans, we have four demographics to appeal towards:
>Maloqs
Klingons except stupider
>Pelengs
Pirate-loving universally criminal scumbags
>Faeyans
Science-loving classical ayys
>Gaalians
Third-eye-having enlightened hippies
Each represents roughly a fifth of the voting block, so we have to win over most of them.
Gavin Gomez
Also if we don't win we'll be killed.
First question: What's our tax policy?
Henry Anderson
DOWN
Lucas Williams
Reporters are asking the hard-hitting questions: does that mean cuts to the defense budget?
Juan Clark
Space Rangers is fucking dope.
Jaxon Nelson
Of course, military industrial complex fags can suck my McDick
Levi Adams
So if we're slashing taxes all around, where will the remnants of our budget go?
Owen Allen
Not roads, that's for sure
Jeremiah Lopez
what game is this
Andrew Martinez
Space Rangers 2 HD. Weird game, currently on sale for like 3 bucks.
Parker Brown
SCIENCE
Ian Gutierrez
Now for the nitty-gritty. What's our specific defense policy?
Robert Ortiz
MORE GUNS!
Colton Jackson
THE PEOPLE DONT MATTER! ONLY WAR!
Parker Jenkins
More guns! But what about law enforcement?
Ryder Johnson
reform the courts
Caleb Barnes
What's our stance on the Space First Amendment?
Nolan Jenkins
Journalists must be shot
John Wilson
lol'd at the last option but I think alien press could be dangerous
Levi Jenkins
What better use for our new guns? Now for sports.
Ryder Watson
>no option to outsource it to third parry contractors
Uninstall/10
Jordan Rodriguez
dont give the handegg klingon ripoffs their scholarships
Jacob Nelson
mass physical training and child sport. Everyone is strong as fuck
Nicholas Jenkins
dont listen to this cabbage, what is the point in strength in a spacefaring technologicaly advanced species? i'll lazer ur fucken head off
Isaiah Moore
Little big sport, big child sport. Science.
Jack Young
Lay off the useless chair warmers
Hudson Russell
And that's a wrap for our announcement speech. Here's how our policy lays out.
William Stewart
Our poll numbers aren't great but they could be worse; we at least got a strong foothold with the criminal asshole demographic. For the rest of the campaign we can spend every day trawling for votes, organizing a press conference, or just smearing our opponent. What'll it be?
Caleb Young
Smear.
Jacob James
Smearing is simple and effective but risky. What's our target demographic?
Anthony Evans
Pelengs
Robert Lee
As of now, the Pelengs are completely in our pocket and the other demographics all hate us just that little bit more. Now for a political ad, or a press conference?