No fucking way

mario if she real

what is it about Mario that attracts such autistic memes?

mario if he real

Mario if he real

wario if he real?

Mario if he Wario

wario if we real

>when you see it

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holy shit, this changes everything

how the fuck did this get past the censors?

>This summer...
>everyone's favorite plumber....
>is coming to the big screen
>cuts to bowser voiced by Adam Sandler What a bummer!
>Ke$ha starts playing WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE IM P DIDDY
>Mario wakes up giddy for the morning as Peach is carried away in the distance, his alarm is going off and can't hear her, scrolls through some messages, looks up as he's about to read "princess peach kidnapped" remember to take up luigi, who's alarm is the local radio
>"In other news princess peach has been-"
>Mario, voiced by Aziz Ansari "It's a me! Your brother, Mario! We need to get an early start on our day if we're going to get anything done!"
>Luigi, voiced by Owen Wilson, "Just go without me, man."
>Mario: "but together we are the super Mario brothers! With you I'm just...Regular Mario brother."
>two brother will find themselves
>Mario: "What!? Peach is missing?"
>Luigi: "really?"
>and maybe Peach
>Mario "and Bowser took her?"

Luigi "wow REALLY?"

>but first they have to find Bowser
>bowser "I know what girls like!"
>presents a bundle of fire flowers to Peach* "fire flower!"
>Peach kicks him in the balls
>"AAAAA My fire balls!"
>who might need saving from peach
>peach, voiced by who do you fucking think, it's Kristen Schaal "I keep inviting you to go kart riding, to play golf, to parties, and even the Olympic games AND THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME!?"
>this summer is going to be
>montage of slap stick
>bowser twerking
>Mario "awwwkward"
>this summer is going to be...
>montage that's much an inevitable dance party ending
>toad doing a head spin
>LIIIIIT
>this summer is going to be!
>*montage of every time they say "super" in the movie
>SUPER
>Super Mario Bros.

YOSHI
THE LORE THICKENS

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maro if real xDD

shut up

>YOSHI
it's clearly Wario

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How's the Mario PC port going?

Fucking hate this.

I’m calling the police

It... Yosho....

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I always liked Super Mario 64 when I was a kid. I remember playing it at my aunt's house all the time. Well, one day a pop-up appeared out of nowhere as I was watching gameplay footage on YouTube. I was a little startled, and was about to close the window, until I realized that it was a website showing of a mint condition copy of Super Mario 64 for sale. There was a picture and everything. I usually don't trust these things, but the feeling of nostalgia overpowered me, and I wanted to buy it.

The whole business was peculiar, seeing as how the owner of the game wanted the buyer to send an envelope containing $10 to and address on the site, instead of using something like PayPal. What made things even more strange was that when I tried to gain access to the website (I wrote down the URL) after encountering... problems with the game, the page was nowhere to be found.

A few days after the $10 was mailed, I got a package containing the new copy of the game. The first thing I noticed when I opened the small box was that the "official sticker" with Mario flying in the air was apparently peeled off or something. In its place was a piece of duct tape with "Mario" crudely written on it in permanent marker. I felt a little ripped-off, but as long as the game worked, I didn't care.

I got out my Nintendo 64 and put the cartridge in. The screen turned on with the familiar Mario face that you could stretch and twist aimlessly. I remembered laughing all the time at the results as a kid and decided to mess around for old times sake. I moved the cursor over to Mario's ear and pulled it to elven proportions. I was going to do the same to the other ear, when the TV suddenly produced loud static. Mario's whole head started deforming and twisting in ways that I didn't even know were possible for the model. Random sound effects from the game started playing along with the static.

>"Hey user, if you go to this secret area in Mario 64 you can unlock Wario!"

Fuck you, James.