Send one of my kids to an independent realm (county)

>send one of my kids to an independent realm (county)
>kill his wife's heirs to move him up the inheritance ladder for the county
>along the way he cheats on her and a bastard is born
>legitimize bastard
>kill his wife and make him a duke
>he dies soon after
>my primary heir dies of pneumonia
>son's bastard becomes my primary heir
>die
>all hail the bastard king Stanislao
just think about the amount of movies this game could produce

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This game literally gave me some plot ideas for my DnD campaign

also, ck thread

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>make one of my vassals very angry with me
>he's a powerful duchy ruler
>attempt to abduct him
>check my claims
>got an unpressed claim on his duchy
>demand the claim from him
>he refuses and rebels, raising armies
>a liberty war ensues
>2 months later the abduction works
>get into the dungeon with him
>force him to relinquish his claim because he's a criminal
>reason for being a criminal - rebelling
>reason for rebelling - rightful claim ruler defending his claim
>but rebelling against the king is treason
>he agrees to revoke his claim for duchy
>war ends
>get 4 more county claims
>give them to the spouse
>spouse dies of a scheme
>the original duke is back on his duchy
>the duchy claim is gone
>but he still had 4 unpressed county claims
>he became first in line of inheritance
>fuckme.parchment
>ask the pope to excommunicate him instead
>he's excommunicated
>imprison him for being excommunicated
>revoke his claims with a rightful reason
>rightful reason - he's a heretic
>reason for being a heretic - he's been excommunicated
>reason for being excommunicated - I want his claims
>he agrees to revoke his claim
>reason with him to get him out of jail
>tell him to relinquish his claims
>he agrees
>make him a count of a pagan county
>destroy a castle and build a church there instead
>he doesn't bother me for several decades
>just before his death I discover that he was slowly killing off my firstborns
>killed 4 out of 6
>he dies soon after I discover his newest scheme to murder me
>it leaves my character crippled and it dies a year later
god damn dukes

>grandiose balls

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Have fun with your LARP spreadsheet slider simulator with mana bars
I will go play real games with gameplay

Okay. Have fun!

Your mom's skin flute?

Like court assassinations? A groundbreaking idea I guess.

>she became famous for her...GRANDIOSE BALLS.
heh

have fun larping in your real gameplay games dude

Man I lost two sons to battle on Tutorial Island and a third son is insane. Also wanted to dick down my son's wife. Most of the women in Ireland are hideous drunken gremlins but she was a fine piece of ass crammed into that potato sack colored dress.
Lol this isn't even approaching a fraction of my spreadsheet autism.

i wanted to buy ck3, but the inevitable upcoming $1000 dlcs scare me

the base game is surprisingly good by itself. i'm sure the dlc's will just add more

Why is everyone named -chad in Ireland? I feel like the CEO of racism is going to show up at any moment.

Game is boring, never cared about the LARP shit.

It's not live-action you inbred retard

Fucking about with intrigue and political maneuvering is really much more fun than blobbing.
>messalian female ruler
>seduce pope, have several kids with him
>also fucking pretty much anyone of importance
>hre emperor decides he doesn't like this, demands conversion to catholisism once pope dies
>convert and seduce new dwarf pope
>use approval from fucking the dwarf to buy indulgences for fornication and to fund lots of conquest
>use all accumulated piety to make custom coomer religion
>seduce hre emperor as well, give them both lovers pox
>ritually kill myself, resume playing as legitimized youngest daughter with first pope
>resume seducing and fucking anything that moves while spreading my new religion

there's a sale right now for all-access version (with the future dlcs and base game). just buy it. it's like 60 bucks rn.

what
they DO that???

>Expansion 1
>1
Don't lie to us like this, shill-kun.

>The expansion pass for Crusader Kings III includes the first three upcoming expansions.
>Two smaller flavour packs
>One major expansion
Nah, it's just the first few DLC.

>he just can't be fucked to check first

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>kr
Ew, get your filthy oil-soaked Norwegian currency out of here.

How has anyone ever done badly in ck2/3
By the time you're a large duke you have more troops than most kingdoms because the ai doesn't raise crown authority at all

>ew, you earn more in an hour than me in a week
ew

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>steward focus for a lifetime while fabricating claims
>when I die and take control of my heir I then bankroll a multi year long campaign of bloodshed in which I steamroll every surrounding county with mercenaries

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unless you start as a realm ruler, and county/duchy rulers have more levies combined than your direct claimed land, making the relations worse.

You were supposed to say dollars are almost as oil-soaked.
You need to get to the point of being a "large duke" first, user. That's how.

I usually start as a count so I guess it's easier in a way as I can manage everything from the begining rather than having to undergo redistribution of vassal lands

I'd say us dollars, most of the time, are soaked in cheese and sauce, not oil