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god I wish I were Samus

>they video games
Why is Metroid talking HOOD?

feels good man

eat hot chip

nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger

and all because white women became whores
sad really

I modern women weren't whores maybe it would've turned out differently.

based

doesn't have the same rhythm to it as the original. you can do better than that, user

I was wondering when a male version of this meme would come out but frankly this is lazy and doesn't have the same zing the original had. you cant make every con about how horny guys are. you gotta add more in there. is that all we are to you? all guys are just horny devils with no off switch? get a grip, samantha

What if I'm from 1993? Am I safe!?

drive a 75 plymouth valiant and am 6'3
cant find women if the government literally tells everyone to stay inside

trannies are raiding again?

Why are porn and masturbating listed as separate things?

>They videogames
too much bbc in your diet. Samus.

>Emotionally Unavailable
isn't that what you want in a "man"?

yes you could be born on december 31, 1993 at 23:59 and be safe

>emotionally unavailable
The moment a man shows an ounce of emotional weakness, women bail. They think they want a man with feelings but they dont.

>blaming women for your problems
Very manly and based of you, losers

What they want is someone who they can actually vent their problems to and someone who they "feel" vents their own problems to them. Anyone who actually takes the bait and vents their real problems quickly learns the difference between stated and actual desires.

youll never be a woman

And you'll never touch one.

>all male
Sexist and poor english skills

I dont blame women for anything, I just dump my stinky coom in their asses and block their numbers

then buy a vibrator, hoe

that's what male friendships are for, after all.

i hope so, real women are disgusting

I never shower.

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>won't put out
>act shocked when we rub one out to porn
Open your ass and our hearts will follow

>if you flirt with me i will report you for raping me also all men are dirt and need to die
>why the fuck you so emotionally distant bro??

That actually sounds hot. I'd hook up with a guy like that if he's fat

>became

my nigga PREACH

You are just unattractive
Cope

ok mom

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christianity and right-wing media used to keep them in check

what if I was born in 93 but this still describes me

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I was born in 1993, just replace pornhub with sadpanda and it's all true

I wanna take a fat shit on samus' tits.

What is hot chip?