You will never be a real scout. You have no scattergun, you have no pistol, you have no bat. You are a heavy twisted by sandviches and shotguns into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your team is disgusted and ashamed of you, your “mercenary friends” laugh at your ghoulish gameplay behind closed doors.
Scouts are utterly repulsed by you. 9 years in development have allowed scouts to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even fat scouts who “pass” play uncanny and unnatural to a scout. Your player model is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a medic to ubercharge you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a glance of your unreliable, terrible shotgun.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a minigun, wind it, and obliterate the enemy team, and become a heavy again. Your team will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll let you play with an icon marked with your class name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a heavy is playing. Your gameplay will not improve, and all that will remain of your legacy is a heavy with a minigun.
Your autistic Zig Forums copypasta won't catch on. Go back to your board, you fags embarras yourselves whenever you leak out into better boards. But considering the state of Zig Forums i guess "better boards" would be literally ever board but Zig Forums
Nolan Fisher
Don't care. Still buying The Orange Box 2007
Christian Young
Fuck off with your dumb shit false flagging. I hate the tranny obsession and Zig Forums fags but love this.
Sure, BLU magically makes a push appear out of nowhere when RED was leading 1 - 0 and we were already in overtime. The clock should have fucking stopped, RED had won!!!! The game was rigged and we're gonna take this all the way to Valve, BLUtranny.
Fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU FUCK YOU MY SHOTGUN IS JUST AS VALID AS ANY SCATTERGUN THEY DO THE SAME THING FUCK YOU UFUFDUHJ JBHGJJBHNJBNFKGVDJVNJKCKJNCVV
>manic monday >want to sleep and rest, but I have to be not completely worthless >still not a scout
i wish i could just wake up as a scout. i hate waking up in my ugly body every day instead of that of a cute scout i'm having a manic moment, and i'm very seriously thinking about going back to school just to contribute to science to become one. there's no other way I could ever become a scout.
Does you have any long shots they want to chase? Something that would risk life as they know it?
This, it also grants double jump and allows Heavy to speak in a horrifying combination of Boston and Russian accents while active. No random crits.
Ian Jackson
anyone else know the poster being parody'd here?
Evan Jones
I love how every meme can be applied to TF2 in some way
Ayden Peterson
going cartoony with the art direction was the best decision Valve ever made, it's literally timeless and the characters still get used in memes constantly
