If you beat this guy in hand to hand combat, you get a harem of 10/10 waifus that will always love you...

If you beat this guy in hand to hand combat, you get a harem of 10/10 waifus that will always love you, and more money than you could ever spend in your life
you get 1 melee weapon, but you arent allowed to sneak up on him from behind and the weapon has to be in your hands at all times. its okay if you drop it or your opponent pulls it away, you just cant use it as a projectile.
whats your plan

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hit him in his massive nuts and slit his throat or bash his head in depending on the weapon I have when he recoils from the punch.
ez pz now give me the waifus

Go full animal instinct, use everything i have, grab him and rip him apart, bite him etc. Then if he is still alive, rape him to assert my dominance

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i wud shuut monke with gung

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too many young fags on this site. leave tik tok tard

>you get one melee weapon
Swiss Halberd.

Are chimps smart enough to not charge into a spear?

>a fun original thread where people can get creative even if it is retarded
>too many young fags on this site
go back to bumping bbc racebait threads with your arguments and complaining about reddit fags

The weapon would have to be a razor sharp knife or a sharp spear or something. Technical prowess can win you this fight, but if it gets to a close quarters situation and you are disabled somehow from performing your strikes youre basically fucked. Chimps have muscles like corded steel and can basically tear you apart if they try. They go for your fingers and testicles first usually. I imagine if you can get a good strike in and cut their throat open you can strike fear into one and he might flee from you, but Im only guessing

Wouldn't risk it. But if it was a gun to the head situation and they said "choose a weapon", I'd probably get something that could keep him away from my body while maintaining lethality, like a katana or a lance. I wouldn't trust my own strength to be able to knock him out with a blunt object, so I'd hope for a decapitation

Just a spear would be enough.

Can the melee weapon be the apes children?

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I'm fighting for Anime waifus?
Katana
I mean any long sword is easy enough to kill an ape with, but with using an Eastern weapon, I'll look sick doing it too before having an orgy with my waifus

A spear easily. Easy to use, and it keeps your distance, a spear is easier to use effectively than many other melee weapons for people who dont know how to use said melee weapons. Also spears r kool

You better fucking land that first thrust right in his center. If you miss and he gets into close range...

Everybody ITT would get charged and freeze in terror, surprised by the sheer speed

Any melee weapon? In that case a flaming spear. Monks are terrified of fire and it's long enough to poke at him. The only problem would be if I could catch him. I'm assuming he won't run away since that would take away the point of the match. So he would still have enough aggeession towards me to not run away but be too scared to move in too close. So if I stand my ground against a wall and just keep trying hopefully I can get the momkey.

no matter what weapon you're using, if that monkey grabs it then you better stick your neck out and hope for a quick end

If I properly prepared beforehand, I wouldn't. If I was just suddenly thrusted into this situation, of course I'd freeze up.

I'm also the embodiment of skelly so that probably wouldn't help.

Give me a bat

Chainsaw. That was easy.

>run chainsaw
>chimp gets scared and runs up tree
>chimp throws poop at you
>you drop chainsaw or get blinded
>chimps jumps off tree and claws your face off

If I win, I get the happy ending I've always wanted (0.01% chance of happening, I'd wager that monki's claws alone could tear the mountain up with ease and im definitely not the mountain)

If I lose, I die, very painfully but I die. Its a win win to me

A large spiked shield.

He cant get close without hurting himself, if he even grazes it while attacking he will suffer. He cant leap or he gets impaled, and all I have to land is one solid attack and then hes done for Iron Maiden style.

well your odds of beating a chimp in hand to hand combat are next to zero. THey are just too crazy and powerful.

as for a melee weapon look at the medieval ones, no better weapons can be found outside that era.

you'd need something nimble yet powerful. I wouldn't take my chances with maces or axes. Really the best possible options are either A a pole arm like a spear or maybe halberd or B a longsword, the chimps aren't armored, swords will still rape them. If i had the option for a second weapon i'd choose a dagger just incase it turns into a grappling situation.

Didnt know joe Rogan posted on Zig Forums.

He's fucking dead. I choose a 7 inch baselard. HE'S FUCKING DEAD!

No joke though. Monkeys are extremely aggressive but they're still animals and I'd just bait him and keep my off hand out to make him try and bite or grab it. When he does, the dagger goes straight into his neck. I might lose a hand, an eye or an entire arm, but with a harem of 10/10 waifus that will always love me and more money than I can ever spend in my life, there's literally no reason to not put everything on the line. Chimps have very good pulling strength, hence why I'd choose a dagger. He's going to get close, there's not even any question. Best I can hope for is to minimize damage to myself by maximizing the damage I can do to him in the shortest amount of time.

Gravity hammer
I can knock that bitch ass ape into the next county

I've never trained in combat but I think I could take most chimps, I'm way bigger than they are. Give me a bat or a battle axe and I'll take some rips every time it gets near my personal bubble.

I'd take a saber. I have experience saber fencing, so I should be alright.

>I'd just bait him and keep my off hand out to make him try and bite or grab it. When he does, the dagger goes straight into his neck.
your reflexes are too slow. once his teeth sink into your hand, you forget your entire plan

His raw force is extreme, but is just going to be blunt and all around.
>No weapon
A good kick in the throat should do the trick.
If still up after that, kick in the ears and balls.
>With weapon
A sharpened lance, if going by counter attack should be enough to stop him.
After saying that, i woudnt do it. That chimp looks like he had a really fucking rough life. they only lose the hair when extremely stressed.
I feel sorry for him, no harem of waifus or money is worth that poor nigger suffering.

Everyone saying spear is too retarded to understand that they need at least some experience for be competent 1 on 1 and theres nothing stopping the monkey from garbing the shaft and ripping it out of your hand

Personally I think I'll have more success with a long sword as I am fit-ish (3pl8bench) prefferably the dragon slayer

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checked. I like this guys idea but I'm gonna go with the energy sword.
Little fucker is going to taste the will of the prophets

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A female chimp could probably rip your arm off before you could even inflict any damage.

that's just not the likely outcome, though
could, sure, but I win most of the time

I'm going with a light saber. I throw rocks at the chimp to piss him off and when he brute rushes me and lunges, I simply slice him down the middle while he's flying through the air. Even if he does get on top of me and starts pounding my ribcage in and starts trying to rip my face off, I simply just move the lightsaber through him and he'll be clean cut in half.

>spears are retarded without training
>I'll be successful with meme anime weapon

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A spear or pike, they are easy to use and have good range. They did not become the most prominent weapon in history for nothing.

post a pic of yourself then big shot

You real wrong, one on one a chimp will demolish an average human

Checked and based dubs of truth