At what age did you lose your innocence? When did you start viewing the world as an adult, and not as an optimistic kid...

probably 7-10 when I had to come to terms with the fact that my parents never truly wanted me around. After that I got really depressed and saw the world really negatively, but it brought to light a lot of truths about the world.

7th grade, so about 12. Became clear that in the race of life, everyone else was leaving the starting gate but I hadn't even made it to the track yet.

Everyone else were becoming young adults and I was still very much a child.

Probably about the time I started getting molested. So 8 or 9

14 was when I realized I simply was too far behind anyone else to ever catch up in any meaningful way.

If this thread made me sad seeing all the replies, does it mean i'm not really blackpilled?
I lost my faith at 20 when i tried all i could to be happy & Zig Forums, just ended alone and realized it was maybe over.

>When did you start viewing the world as an adult, and not as an optimistic kid?
I don't view the world as an adult or optimistically. I just view life as an immature depressed child in the body of an adult.

I never have. t. 26 year old

Also Speer did nothing wrong, he was simply too capable at his work.

It began when I was 12 and it has gotten a lot worse since then

22-23 was the big break where everything went wrong. The world stopped being a nice, accepting, wonderful place after that point, and the lack of support and hidden coercion my family regularly used under the farcical disguise of "love" was revealed to me in no uncertain terms. It was also the year I realized I had to break free, where I was finally forced to tell people who couldn't give less of a shit about my happiness to fuck off and die, blood be damned.
Supposedly I "recovered" according to most external metrics (money, professional achievements, degrees), but I feel like I'm just going through the motions. My hobbies (which were used against me) no longer bring me as much joy, and I'm in school again more out of a desire to escape the meatginder that is industry than out of any desire to learn. I'm just waiting to die at this point. Hopefully it will be quick and painless though I know that is too much to ask.

i agree i was still pessimistic and black pilled before then but in a manner that was dumb and immature

Sounds generic, but around the time I was 9 or 10, when my mom got cheated on. For several years I told myself "If my dad, who every day and night said to her how much he loved her, was capable of stabbing my mother in the back, what more can I expect from strangers around me?"
I don't hate him (even though my mother believed her marriage would last forever and got the worst end of the stick at the end), but what he did made me very cautious around people. It got worse when I watched boys and girls in school insulting each other, gossiping behind each others' backs and that. I became a loner because I didn't want to deal with those things or cause grief to others, and it turned into full misantrophy after watching the news, reading about war crimes, etc.

12. I got bullied relentlessly by a 21 year old friend of my brother who stayed with us and my family did nothing about it.

12 for sure
i always expected kindness and decency out of people but when i got into middle school i realized quickly that the only reason i expected that out of anyone was because young kids are usually naturally kind. it definitely warped my entire world view dramatically to the point where i inevitably became just like them in my own way as a youth. now that i'm older i've shed all of that and i feel as though i really have become my own person. i kind of had to figure it out on my own.

13 to 14, when a family friend decided to teach me how the world really worked.
He drove me around the ghetto and lectured me on things like: street smarts, human nature, real politics, economics.

Probably when I discovered goth culture at 13.

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goth is retarded, bunch of posers

Around 13 when my older brother died of a heroin overdose and my father took advantage of the situation for his own benefit.

Oh no, it is only that most of goths are posers. Only few are trugoths and they got vetting to separate the filthy posers from true ubermensch.

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>Oh no, it is only that most of goths are posers. Only few are trugoths and they got vetting to separate the filthy posers from true ubermensch.
They're all posers to me and their aesthetics sucks.

I dunno. When I was around 12 or 13 I started noticing how off everything was. How hypocritical, naive, simple-minded and emotional many adults tended to be. It was scary, because these people were supposed to be my superiors. However, it wasn't until my late 20's that I really started to realize and understand the evil of the Jew.

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age 14 i started browsing Zig Forums
about 15 i started feeling the affects r9k has on your mind and by that i mean extreme depression and suicidal thoughts

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I think it started when I was a junior in high school. I got a taste of my first truly horrible rejection from a woman. She was an Asian girl in the band class I was in.