Should I go and get fucked by a bunch of dudes...

I can't help but be emotionally unstable which is why I am desperate . I am literally a personalitycel and I am not that good looking to boot so it is impossible for me to get a girl to go out with me. I am too crazy for women but other guys do not seem to be scared off by my personality.

That sounds fucking painful and I never had a desire to do that. Is it painful?

I know generic ass advice isn't always useful and situations aren't always fair. Women don't want to mother you, they don't want your emotional burdens especially not right out the gate, if they get a whiff of that at all you might as well forget about it.It's a delicate balance. The problems you have I think stand in your way and that reinforces your problems also because of rejection and loneliness I get that.Sometimes though desu we have fix ourselves as much as we can before we can find someone who wants to be with us. Other people can add to you but nobody else can fully fix you.

Not when you get used to it and that's one reason why gays like analsex because of the prostate.

I don't see how it is possible to fix me. I am genuinely off the fucking wall crazy. I am borderline psychotic I am depressed and I talk to myself all the time. I can barely hold down even the easiest of jobs. The only real friends I have are my mom and dad let alone my older siblings and maybe some distant family. I go from feeling intense anger to sadness at the drop of a dime. I tried taking antidepressants but they completely zapped my sex drive and made me gain a ridiculous amount of weight. And I also still was not able to function completely. I am a lost cause and if women want a man to be fixed before they date him than that will never ever be me. I am too far gone and my life will only get more broken as I get older. I have decided that enough is enough and I am willing to go gay if it means I can have a normal dating experience. I live a very isolated and lonely life. Nobody cares about my feelings or my problems. I want someone to just give me some kind of sex or intimacy.

You are just a fuck junkie then.

You got to fix yourself first. You'll never cure yourself through just fucking, you donkey. Sometimes people don't know what is good for them. Right now you are acting like some young insecure slut girl.
I recommend you do not go the Dazai route. Focus on eliminating sources of your pain and anger. But you are not gonna listen to me anyway so who cares.

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try amphetamines bro

Have you sought therapy? If you're recognizing in yourself that you're a lost cause then why would anybody want that? That doesn't mean you are a lost cause but if you think you are, you'll have the frame of mind of one and nobody wants to enter into a relationship with that.

It's not really the fucking but rather the intimacy. I hate being alone with my thoughts all of the time. I was never a desperate person before all this but now things have changed. It doesn't mean I have to go and sex with a bunch of people. I just wanted to have something for once that is more exciting in life than my miserable life.

You sound 100% like bpd. So much that it actually is funny.
t.bpd

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I have done therapy in the past but it cost $150 a week and my mother could no longer afford it so I stopped four years ago when I was 23 at the time.

Everyone needs validation and everyone feels better about themselves when they get it. Start smaller by talking to just people, other guys other girls without any intention. Having people first simply validate that you exist helps and you can build off that. It's easy to say but sitting alone never reaching out and embracing all that darkness will only fuel it more. You have to take the bits you can get and use them to start to improve the way you feel about yourself and identify some of your core issues that make you feel invalidated besides others not wanting you romantically at the moment.That's quite often a symptom of other problems and I don't have an absolute answer to it but sometimes self reflection and acceptance can help

Well. You might wanna inform first about that you are crazy to other person then. How about drinking alcohol? It helped me when I had nobody.
Also dudes are kinda. You know, you might not get intimacy you want but they might be easier to initiate. Still I think you might be making a mistake.

I recommend changing meds, find one that won't give you side-effects.

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I will gladly make my own decisions. How is it a mistake?

Dudes are kinda? What do you mean by that?

Well.
I think you are gonna arrive into his apartment. He'll tell you. "We both know what you came here for." Then he tells you. "Strip" And then he fucks you. Says, "yokatta-ze" Tosses you a handkerchief and kicks you out.

How did that sound like to you?

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Probably not great but it would be something different from what I am experiencing. You kind of make it seem like this is a terrible idea. I knew some gay people in real life and they had relationships that were not like that.

Sounds like you have experienced this treatment a lot.

>I'm not lonely anymore!
Oh....oh no

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That guy is talking about hookups, if you look for relationship then you will be loved.

The truth is and it might suck. You're approaching a relationship from a broken place and that's not going to work other than romantic movies. Every guy loves the fantasy of a girl who is going to fix him and solve all his woes but that's not realistic. You have to give to someone to be in a relationship, both people do. If you're approaching it out of sheer desperation you have nothing to give and you just want to take, because you want them to heal you.

I've only known one gay dude in my life.

I'm just saying that anyone that ever flirts with you got something behind it and when it's men it usually means they wanna smash. It might not be so but it might be. I'm just saying.

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Oof, nice try but no. I just watched some Cream Lemon once.

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Feels pretty awesome desu. Having gotten fucked plenty times it feels to me like sorta orgasming the entire time.

Do you want love or are you happy with being alone?