There's no reason for anyone to ever like me

All of my hopes into one person? That feels too suicidal or delusional at that point or I am to messed up to think of it, or rather to allow myself to be that way and signify I'd ever care. And even if I show care, I fear I am fake or thought less of. I'm very reluctant to say I am anywhere near a person or even close to believing in anything. I'm playing with too many ideas in my head constantly. Perhaps I want to pretend this is complicated just so that I feel that something is interesting. Just laying around with a thought is nice. I don't think I crave attention exactly or anything else. I just mess with things as I get curious.

Nothing gained nothing lost then if you don't care, so al is fine there's no reason to complain.

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All is loose and in flux, user. I want to venture, but I see differing outcomes.

Why do you feel that there is no reason to like you?

I don't get it, what do you want? If you want someone to like you i'd say start liking someone first. I just think i'm dumb, boring and lackluster compared to other people but it doesn't matter.

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It feels to simple that way. There is always more to something. It can be studied by it's circumstances.

Compared to other people? Just describe yourself some and make it esoteric. You'll be interesting then. Try it and tell me some stuff about yourself. Competency is an illusion.

I can barely make sense of what you're saying. What makes you think i can describe myself?

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Just say a story about yourself. I'm not that complicated. I'm just poking you and want to hear something.

You're right now with that attitude there isn't young man.

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lmao at how for me people get to know me, feeling like there is a reason, then leave. Fuck that better to have loved and lost thing man - fucking hurts way more to lose the thing filling the hole in your life, than to continue living never knowing it existed.

Yeah whoever said loved and lost is better is actually a major retard, it never gets any easier every time because each time it's harder for you to trust, so when you do trust again and the same shit happens it fucks you up more.

I once saved a puppy that was abandoned on the street, how does that sound? Probably the biggest highlight of my life.
I never lost my love.
I feel like the matrix is losing processing power because i can't understand some things people are saying, or i'm having an aneurysm.

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No I'm just retarded and re read my post and realized I don't know how to write.

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Congrats man on never losing your love. Mine dipped day after her sister's wedding, after she "went on a break" in january, was just leading me on, didn't want the hurt to be as bad as it did but unintentionally made it miles worse. The distance, the lack of affection or love in her eyes, fucking knew it. Did my best to save it, but just didn't mean anything.

Do you feel saving that puppy defined you some? Or maybe you could just describe your relations with people, why do you feel you aren't liked with reason or able to be liked with a reason by the people in your life? It's funny that I can infer two different meanings from your initial question, in one you are alone and feel that's why you are alone, and in the other you have had someone yet feel there is no reason for them to like you.

Not really, it's just a cool thing i did, you ask for it. I just think there's always someone better than me but i don't care, it does not matter and even if does if i like people more than they like me that's fine as well.
A feeling i shared so many times it long since stopped bothering me.
Sorry to hear user.

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It's more important to just offer the right contract and that the contract is then abided. Everyone gets what is expected. All the liking would in a perfect world then be insignificant, but maybe that downplays all those other wantings I get and others assumedly have. I don't know what I want. I want a specific thing and not an example of something. I probably just confused you further.

I don't think you are fine with it all the way, wouldn't you prefer a reason? Of course, being content is fine even if you don't.

I don't think contracts work as a means of controling or identifying people, i think it's important to have endurance and be thoughtful of other people. You want a gf maybe, a partner, i don't know either. No, fuck reason for all it's worth.

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I was thinking more broadly. Even with friends, there is no reason to really like me. It's not a rigid contract about control in how I think of it, just a social debt alongside some expectations. A long time ago all relations are thought of in terms of debt over things in a chain of being and I liked the idea of it some. I'd never just say I want a gf or a friend. I don't want to just fulfill a category by itself for the sake of completing it.

so must it be, welcome to the club

Well then i think it's fine to expect some things from friends or whatever else, just essential things like not having them fuck you over or betray you with malice just for the sake that they don't care about you, other than things like that it's very murky and leniency is required, so it is endurance and thoughtfulness then.

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Well, you came into some understanding then of what I said. Endurance feels odd. Sometimes I think I'll hate someone for doing something I disagree with and end up liking them still, and other times I've reached this disgust in my head and can't talk to the person in the same way ever again. It is entirely to go by feeling. Do you feel close to people, user?

It is mostly by feel yes, contract or expectations don't play a big role, it doesn't have to be like that all the time, you can somewhat control how you feel or how you act, like chosing to act nice, give people another chance or just endure some things or chosing to be mean and distance yourself from people you think are bad, even if you don't feel like it, you can't control other people though, just you, and not that well. I don't even know what being close to someone is.

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