Bottom of heart speaking - practice #2

I erased the quote numbers. A mistake in judgment.

I wonder if this is really what most people do. What it means to be vulnerable and what it means to reveal things no one needs to know about.

I mean:
Being vulnerable. But if you are too much, it means you are doing something wrong.

>fear of revealing information about myself
I am sort of like this as well, but I think if I had someone close to me, then I would be willing to disclose a little bit more about my life without skipping over important details. but I do not have anyone like that in my life.
>does it?
I would think so, I don't know. as I have said, I never had anyone close to me in my life, so its impossible to determine whether or not things would be different. I tend to not be secretive about things as long as said things do not have a negative impact towards my perception, and I presume that many other people are like this too.

>Best: I can't come up with anything.
You said you would be as honest as you can. This isn't a sincere answer, it's a sign of low self-esteem. Try again.

>I tend to not be secretive about things as long as said things do not have a negative impact towards my perception, and I presume that many other people are like this too.
Would you please elaborate.

> I tend to not be secretive about things as long as said things do not have a negative impact towards my perception, and I presume that many other people are like this too.

No, I think this is part of being vulnerable and being transparent and genuine with the people in your life. It's harder to do but more endearing to people to be honest even about things that aren't flattering and has improved my relationships significantly.

can you give me advice on how to stop being nervous when talking? it happens in discord, video games, in real life, everywhere! i'm admittedly a little more awkward around women, but only a bit. thanks user

I really can't think of anything. What is your best and worst trait? How did you determine this?

No, I cannot.

What it means to be genuine and transparent with people in your life?

What is the thing which you are most ashamed of?

let people see you and make judgements about you for who you really are, be honest with your intentions and thoughts, express concerns you have in the relationship etc. there's so many things, just start with small things and then it starts to become second nature

what music do you listen to; from the heart (

So what did you do when you found out you were raised trans but didn't know?

I spent too much time in my computer. Someone hacked me and I am very embarrassed of all the data they got from me. I also think about this person. Somehow I got better because of the experience, but there is a perception that they were doing this with malicious intent, and that perception makes me feel hurt, even if I think I am better because this happened. Am I ashamed of all this data they stole from me? Yes I think I am.

But before this I think I was ashamed of other things. But NOW this is the biggest thing I am ashamed of.

Do you think about the trade offs with alternative ways of conducting one's life?

what even needs to be elaborated? I will be hard pressed to find a single person that does not have some dirt on them from the things that they have done in the past. maybe they robbed someone, tortured an animal, defecated on the toilet seat, whatever. if you ever fall through with someone, I don't doubt that said person would 'weaponize information against you', using said information as blackmail against you. knowing your enemy is 50% of the battle, and from this you should be careful about the information that you choose to disclose with other people, so much so as it has the capability to harm you.
I know, but most people at the end of the day ultimately live to serve themselves, and especially when you are in a position of influence over other people, you have to adopt this sort of mindset if you don't want the 'mob' mentality of your peers to come knocking (unless of course, you are an 'angel', and because of the 'complications of human existence', almost nobody is). being transparent and genuine is seen as a 'good trait' I suppose, but it doesn't benefit yourself, which arguably could be seen as a 'bad trait' depending on your perspective of the world.

I used to listen to things I found on youtube. I do not pay that much attention to music anymore.

Sometimes I listen to playlists like this one
youtube.com/watch?v=HlXLHmAfb3E&list=RDHlXLHmAfb3E&start_radio=1

Recently I have been listening to Negative XP songs on MKultra because they bring me some comfort but I immediately recognize I am MKultra'ing myself and I do not listen to it.

Yes because that's how I lived for years and I never truly felt close to people or that I was ever understood, it's much better this way (for me at least)

being transparent and genuine benefits you in that you can never truly experience love unless you allow yourself go through the unpleasant experience of actually being seen

>I don't doubt that said person would 'weaponize information against you', using said information as blackmail against you.
I think the biggest harm is the emotional pain of feeling vulnerable and exposed. Being judged. There are plenty of examples of people who are open about not being perfect and get along fairly well in society.
The biggest harm is the emotional pain. Assuming there isn't anything illegal. I know of cases of politicians in my country that were blackmailed with criminal charges they would most likely be found guilty. Perhaps if you make a career in public office it is important. But isn't even Donald Trump and Joe Biden known to have rumors about innapropriate behavior? If people do not find anythign they will make shit up. Kavaunaugh is interesting...
I don't know, the biggest harm for me is the emotional pain. Like disclosing something to someone and that person telling others about it.
This guy "Larry Lawton" on youtube is very interesting. There is one video where he talks about how "blackmail is what works". You do not make people do things they do not want for money, it is through blackmail. If you have blackmail on them, you have them forever he says. You will not get someone to grant unauthorized acess to some area in a building by giving them money, you might, but it is always better through blackmail. -- so he says.

Do you think if I am a person for being a Nazi? Not the meme version but I am legitimately Austrian and think Hitler was a great man for my country and I would vote for someone like him if I had the chance. srs

>can't truly experience love
that's why I said that I will continue to be reticent, except to a person that would be very significant to me. until that day occurs, I will not be divulging too much into the more 'icky' history surrounding myself to anyone, because I too easily see how such information could be used against me.
>vulnerable and exposed
meh. to be honest I do not particularly know why I am like this, it is not like there is a whole lot of people around me that would know or care about the things that I did, so under this rationale it would be better for me to be 'completely open about things'. I guess it doesn't really align so much with my disposition, since I have been a suspecting and somewhat paranoid individual from a young age, and have immense difficulty opening up to other people because I have been alone for so long.
>career in public office
that could be another reasoning as to why I act the way I do. I suppose its because I still somewhat care about my future and do not want to exclude the possibility of working somewhere higher up in the government one day; it could have an effect on how I choose to act around other people, in the few instances where I do interact. another thing you have to consider here is the 'weight of sin', as perceived by society. as I said, there are people who have done some 'bad things', and others who have done things that would be seen as unforgivable by the public. take Trudeau's blackface, the conservatives really tried to hang him for what he did, but at the end of the day it never really affected the elections too much since it never inflicted pain on other people, and he obviously did it when he was young. I would argue that being secretive would benefit you no matter which way you look at it, but perhaps being truthful, depending on your circumstances, can help you even if you are in a position of power.

>Do you think if I am a person for being a Nazi?
Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, at this phase I am right now in life, I think you should not be treated badly and excluded by society if you were open about it. I do not have an opinion on everything else and I cannot elaborate further and I do not even want to. Someone insinuated to me that I wanted to make the world a better place but only for a few people. I do not even know it that was directed to me, but I felt something there.

> (You)
it is scary in general, being judged, even having rumors real/false spread about you can be emotionally upsetting. Human is like that.
I don't know, things in general tend to be memory holed. Like, who really cares you did something embarrassing in your previous workplace when you are at your new job? People do not work like that. I think.
But it is definitely something interesting to think about. I have heard of women being humiliated by nudes. In the sense that people treat them differently once they know about it, but it is not the end of the world too.