Friend of mine is slow. Mentally slow. He's 41, lives with his aunt who is 55. She works during the day, he sits at home, bored. She demands that he cares for her dogs while he's there, "make sure you take them out at 9am, 1230pm, 3pm and 5pm". I asked him how he will ever get a job if he has to babysit her dogs all day. I invite him to play disc golf from time to time to get out of the house. I wasn't sure if he knew about the stimulus check so I asked him if he ever received his and he said, "NO! Edna claimed me as a dependent on her taxes so I didn't get it!". It actually surprised me that he knew who to call to ask about this. I later learned that he gets a monthly SSI check and that it deposits into a joint account of theirs that he is not allowed access to. I've been telling him, she won't be around forever and you're 41, you need to take control of your life man. At least understand how much money you have, don't just let her tell you that you only have $57 for the month. For fun, we make bets on disc golf. He's really bad, so I never claim the bet winnings, he doesn't have money to pay them anyway. It's just for fun. But whatever their conversation was yesterday, now Aunt Edna, all 5'2" old ass Mexican lady is giving me shit. LOL. How should I respond? "Please start to distance yourself from Hector" LOL as if he's a child.
Friend of mine is slow. Mentally slow. He's 41, lives with his aunt who is 55. She works during the day...
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Dont do anything too hostile if you really want to help your friend. Gratifying though it may be. But obviously dont distance yourself from him either, this is clear cut exploitation. Help him help himself, and if he starts to distance from you its because she's exploiting him into that too.
My uncle was getting disability in a similar situation. When he finally got his money, it turned out he was getting 1200 a month. This woman is taking advantage of your friend
Nah fuck that bitch
She told me last year that he cannot take care of himself and none of her siblings wanted the duty, so he volunteered. It was that or he be put in an assisted living center. I don't even know how that would be paid for, but that's another story. I know she does a lot and sacrifices, but I also know her taking him on isn't 100% altruistic. She couldn't live in Florida without his money to assist the rent and bills. And also apparently, the tax relief she gets from claiming him as a dependent. I certainly don't want to alienate him from his Aunt, but there's a point in which he needs to express his desire to be his own person and just be told to do this and that. She also has this problem of hearing one side of a story and not asking, "Hey Eric, we need to talk" and letting me know what she heard. "Is that true?" The last time it was, "Please stop asking Hector to go to the horse races with you. He is a recovering gambler". I laughed and said, "100% incorrect. HE invited ME. He told me over and over about this horse racing track and kept saying we should go. I finally said, yeah, we can do that one day. I don't even know where the place is, never been there!". I think she's a bit intimidated that I may be getting fed information that she doesn't want out there.
To clarify:
My uncle has a mental disorder, and the money was being handled by his mother. She told him it wasnt much money, and acted like she was doing him a favor by giving him a 60/month cell phone.
She would then hold this over his head. She forced him to do labor for free, and manipulated him constantly. We told him to find out how much money he was getting, but he waited 10 years to do so. It was 1200 dollars a month
Yeah, Hector told me he gets over $1100. "Don't tell Edna I told you". Now I know the dude isn't great with money, I get that. He got an inheritance from his mom when she passed away, $60k. He admitted to me he blew it all at a strip club in less than a month! Fuuuuck. So I understand the control. But at the same time, putting him in a bear trap teaches him nothing. It's helping her right now and in essence, helping him, absolutely, but he also needs to learn how to actually manage money. He was gifted 60 grand. He had NO CLUE what that meant. When the strippers found out from him talking, "I'll give you a lap dance for 5 grand" didn't ring a bell with him that, hell no, more like $100 max, he just wanted that lap dance and didn't care what it cost because he didn't do anything for the money to earn it. So now, teach him. "You get $1100 for the month. You have to help pay this and this. You're left with this. Let's be responsible with it until the 1st of next month. Understand?"
If he's that much of a tard by age 41, he won't learn shit, ever. He's lucky he has this lady looking out for him, even if she benefits a bit from it, which I truly doubt she doesn't. Honestly ask yourself, would you be willing to let some 41 year old mouth-breathing tard live in a room in your house for $1100 and some minimal savings on your taxes? You cook for him, clean up for him, have to keep him out of trouble because he's an irresponsible dumb fuck? There's no way you'd do all of that for $1100 a month and whatever crumbs you'd save on your taxes by claiming him as a dependent. I guarantee if you figure what she could make by renting out the room and what the dumb tard eats in groceries every month, I bet she's not getting much for the hassle.
The real question is, why the fuck are you hanging around with a tard and trying to be buddy buddy with him. Seems me like YOUR the one looking to exploit this mouth-breathing idiot and just using the guise that he needs to learn how to take care of himself as cover for your own shitty intentions.
I see. Id report her to adult protective services. If shes been using his money on herself, that is not ok. The legal term for this is "financial exploitation".
Tbh if she is spending that money on anything but him she should go to prison for fraud
Is she hot?
That money is not a reward. Its for him to have things like clothes, medicine, and anything else he needs.
If she spends a simgle penny on herself shes committing fraud
>She couldn't live in Florida without his money to assist the rent and bills
Where do they live in Florida? Trying to get a sense of what the cost of living is and how far $1100 a month would really go based on where they live.
Would you look after a man child for free?
It's a shitty situation and probably not the 100% legal way of doing it but essentially she's getting paid to look after this guy.
Unless OP wants to pony up and have the friend move in with him or something he shouldn't rock the boat too much.
myflfamilies.com
Here is where to report her. If it sounds like exploitation they will investigate
I am in a similar situation to Hector. Please stop taking advantage of people like us you fucking normie. You have no idea of the mental trauma we're dealing with
No, I agree, she sacrifices in taking him on. I said that. But I also said, it's not 100% altruistic. He's said before, "she told me she will kick me out" because of whatever, him mouthing off or what. I told him, first off, don't talk back aggressively. Talk. Discuss your issues. But secondly, that's all BS, she's not going to kick you out. She would have to find someone to rent the room to. They would have to be ok with her 2 dogs and 1 cat. Who would take the dogs out during the day. If they're not taken out, the piss on the carpet. Who would put up with that? Who would agree to live there with all the rules she has? It's a mutually beneficial situation. She gains from it as well.
Why do I hang with him? He's a cool dude. He's not bright by any means, no, but he's cool. I invite him to play disc golf. None of my other friends are into it, he's game to play. I feel bad that this dude is forced to stay home, so I invite him to get out, get outside. Would I want him as a roomie? Hell no. I wouldn't want someone as a dependent who needs guidance to move along in life. And I've definitely not tried to take any of the little money he has, I mean, he has no access to it anyway. It's just one of those things that, when you see someone being used, it kind of pisses you off just a little bit. Because I know myself, hell no, I'm not going to be anyone's slave.
You dumb fuck, depending on where they live, it's not impossible for rooms to rent for $400+ a month (utilities not included). Depending on how much the tard eats, groceries/food for him alone could cost around $100+/week. That leaves $300 a month left over to cover clothing, cell phone, his share of the utilities, gas to drive him to and from the doctors/etc. I hardly think she's enriching herself off him. It's totally normal and above board that a portion of the money he receives each month goes toward room and board. If the state investigated, I bet they'd find nothing improper given that he probably couldn't live much better on $1100/month by himself. If he lived in an assisting live place, they'd take ALL of his check and his room and board would be covered and the state would cover his medical, and he'd have NOTHING else, He'd probably get a minimal amount to cover clothing, but the assisted living facility and/or state would take it all.
The state will pay for assisted living if he doesnt have a home.
A one bedroom apartment is 800/month. That leaves him 250/month more than he has now if utilities are included.
Unless shes certified, she cant take money to care for an adult. Your mindset makes me sick
Davie, FL. In a trailer park.
Not unless 55 year old frumpy Mexican ladies are hot to you.
If the state pays for his assisted living, they take ALL of his monthly check. That is the trade off. It's true for destitute seniors who have to move into a care facility and its true for tards like this guy. You don't just get to move into an assisted living place and get your monthly check. They take your monthly check and then pay whatever your check doesn't cover.
You can't "teach" someone with a disability to not have the disability. He may not have the capacity to be able to do the things he needs to in order to live on his own. Is he gets SSI checks, he very well may just end up in a home with a bunch of people like him.
You're a good fren, Erick.
250 for utilities, what about phone, internet, food and other bills? who's gonna prepare those meals for him? do his laundry? the guy couldn't manage a 60k windfall, how is he gonna intelligently budget 250 a month?
I might be jumping the gun at his situation because the OP didn't go into full detail but 1050 is a fucken bargain for boarding + full time carer.
If shes renting the room to him it should be on paper. That way he would be protected by renters rights.
If she has a mortgage and hes paying it, its fraud. If she doesnt have a mortgage and shes using his money for herself, its fraud. Just because you dont see whats wrong with taking advantage of handicapped persons, doesnt mean its ok
You should just not respond. Thats what I would do.
>Davie, FL. In a trailer park.
Refining search for "davie", most rooms $600+ a month (even the unfurnished ones).
miami.craigslist.org
Obviously, a room in a trailer would be less, but I still think $400+ furnished and a portion of the utilities is fair.
Honestly, after groceries, utilities, rent, and just the other incidentals, it's probably a very fair living situation for $1100/month.
I agree it sucks for him that she should probably be working to get him doing some part time work or something so he has some kind of skills in case she croaks, but I definitely don't think she's exploiting him. She sounds shitty and controlling, but he's probably a handful to live with and take care of, so she's probably more altruistic than it seems.
If I were you, I'd mind my own fucking business and not take what a tard tells me seriously, especially one who has a gamling problem and knows where a race track is and blows $60k on strippers. The guy is a walking train wreck and he's lucky to have someone like his aunt watching out for him from what it sounds like to me.
I was going to call her and ask her to tell me what she heard so I can say my side. I hate this hiding behind text on a phone stuff. Call me and talk.
OP said they live in a trailer. Trust me, she's not paying a fucking mortgage with his measly $1100 a month check. As the lease holder or owner of the trailer, she's subletting the room to him on a month to month basis. That is a verbal contract and total fine under the law. He has some rights as a tenet to the extent he can expect a place with climate control, running water, electricity, but since they are on a month to month basis, he's not guaranteed to throw around his weight when it comes to their living arrangements just like if you owned a house and somebody rented a room in your domicile, they can't suddenly tell you to make drastic changes. Renter's rights are a lot different when it comes to cohabitation.
And also, it's not that I don't see what's wrong with taking advantage of a handicapped situation because, as I've pointed out, I don't think she's taking advantage of him at all (in fact, she's doing him a fucking favor). There's no way he'd be able to get by on his own in their area and the alternative is to live in an assisted living situation where every dollar he gets from his SSI goes directly to the state.
These basement-dwelling neckbeards don't understand the real world. All they know is that mommy brings them tendies and hotpockets and that it doesn't cost them a penny to live in the basement and browse Zig Forums all day. They have ZERO understanding of what it takes to make it on their own in the real world, especially if you're a braindead moron who probably can't tie your own shoes and blows $60,000 on strippers and gambles away the few pennies you have at the race track.
OP tldr you sound like a faggot
I heard you say before there's no such thing as "too long". FAGGOT.