/brit/

dailymail and express have started using the term coronaphobia.

it looks like you just need to man up and stop irrationally worrying about your parents dying

>Rorke wants casual sex
>Also wants pure virgin trad girls

?????

Care to explain Rorkey boy?

Had a dream that I finally asked out toil oneitis and we hugged and kissed but then she told me I wasn't stylish enough for her and that I needed to clean up my act. Subconscious trying to tell me something there.

Both
>LGBT parents are suffering homophobic and transphobic abuse from their own children during the lockdown, a charity has revealed — while young LGBT people are being thrown out onto the street by parents who discover their child’s sexuality or gender identity.

I've been seeing people fix shit too
re-tarmacing their driveway, painting their garden walls, roughing up their poofter kids

>vigins try to emulate porn
>experienced women don't (as much)
Ironic, no?

casual sex with worthless sluts
marriage and children with a good girl
they're two different kinds of women
how is that hard to understand?

Attached: Screen Shot 2020-05-03 at 5.24.03 AM.png (956x208, 43.09K)

What reddit flagged are still here?

one struggle

For me its
youtu.be/BWP-fXsnvfU
Because it reminds me of
youtu.be/MEl0Chq36lc

Attached: F41ADBF3-8D97-4E69-BE17-6E55084CA1E1.png (400x389, 299.11K)

youtube.com/watch?v=2KrbkbtTw9o&
>For lunch we have chai and roti
>At dinner we eat chai and drink roti
>For breakfast we have chai and leftover roti from last night
>This food is bland and bad, everything we make is better

Attached: egg.jpg (1170x750, 69.86K)

Spent my life playing warcraft and studying now im a 24 year old virgin with my own (grim, terraced) house and 20k savings

well I think more experience gives them the confidence to try a few things that people literally only do in porn
like eating arse
which just feels weird and uncomfortable imo

>user my p-parents just kicked me out for being too fabulous i'm coming to stay with you
>ooh yeah no sorry pal but i'm at risk from coronavirus
>what
>yeah i'm a smoker, gotta self-isolate innit but good luck
>but i saw you down at the park with
>BYE -click-

youtu.be/xH9c_fehh9c

saw old photos and videos of the gf

she was so fucking peng its unreal

she's spent the last few years getting chibbier

has a double chin now

why do women do this

worst part is she is self aware. she gets depressed about her body and wants it to change

but she hasn't exercised in all the years ive known her

whats wrong with women

just realised that the world is, in fact, my oyster

GF does the same (isn't getting notiiceably bigger but I full expect her to be a bit chubby in a few years). Would rather have someone tell her it's not her fault and that she's beautiful at any size rather than actually cut the calories and go for a fucking walk.

>look at photos of the gf from before I knew her
>she used to be a 10/10
>now she's 26 and a 6/10
shan't bring this up with her as she might start crying about her fading looks again

have virgin freaks honestly tried talking and taking an interest in things girls do?

sex is fucking easy to get if you aren't socially inept

This is a very deep rabbit hole
youtu.be/HeyN2KHMGtI

youtube.com/watch?v=TXEJvn_ot0M

actually don't care about shagging. would rather do my own thing.

Literally me and why I don't slide into criminality

force her to exercise then you stupid cunt

Creating a list of standards of conduct that I want my future children to abide by

girls have boring and unintellectual interests and hobbies and I fear I would risk brain damage by engaging in such nonsense

hahahahahhahaha

Attached: 1566550882648.png (720x731, 213.91K)

youtu.be/QqQvEqA84AA
Lads.....

Sling your hook for King George III

>oh well, I'll rob it next time

Attached: 1578569629066.jpg (590x350, 41.77K)

Tried to enforce a set of house rules when the GF is over and she cried because apparently I just don't like her as much as she likes me. I just don't want you turning off my air conditioner when it's 28 fucking degrees inside you dumb bint.

need a haircut so badly lads
considering doing a 'rona buzz but i feel like my head's a weird shape

Nope i haven't spoken to a girl apart from cashiers in shops since leaving secondary school to do a sausagefest degree at uni 6 years ago

Most glaringly aesthetic animes I’ve seen in years

Attached: BB4FEEC6-A46F-4F0C-B5D1-86408FD29DBD.jpg (1813x2046, 513.68K)

Asking older people to remain in lockdown longer as restrictions are lifted for the rest of the country would be "age discrimination", a Conservative peer has warned.

Baroness Ros Altmann said: "Using an age-based criteria would be fundamentally wrong and could potentially cost the lives of many people, and risk social unrest."

The former work and pensions minister added that "many" older people have told her "they would rebel and they would risk going to prison" if they were asked to isolate for longer than the rest of the population.

FUCK YEAH BOOMER REVOLUTION

good way to get friendzoned, that
initiating sex is about chemistry, or creating the illusion of chemistry
only a virgin or a woman would claim it's about taking an interest in knitting or twitter or whatever women do when they're not nattering on the phone

28 degrees in the middle of autumn? where do you live FNQ?

Shaved the back and sides of mine, left the top though

Real emotionally unsupportive bf hours

I'm on the bottom floor and it just heats up for seemingly no fucking reason at night.

i'm finding myself getting less attracted to her

i don't like spooning her and reaching over and feeling a belly

she knows exactly what she needs to do and doesn't fucking do it

hello virgin you've never had a gf have you

if you want a gf just send her cat pictures
bitches love cat pictures

Attached: 1568938700662.jpg (604x604, 293.11K)

*walks into barbers*

alri bossman 2 back and sides, scissors short on top, keep the fringe

love kate bush's hair

can moni confirm?

Same, thought my hair would grow out nice but it actually looks shite, might get the gf to run a no. 4 over it and grow the beard out

I was one of only 2 guys on my whole course, actually mental how many female friends I had at uni. Why didn’t you join some societies with a lot of women?

grim brainlet freak

if you cant manipulate your own gf to get what you want your honestly a grim low test virgin nonce

Can vouch for that
Got all my lady friends from sending them a picture of my pussy

How about boomers stop overvaluing their shitty houses and sell them for reasonable prices

[exceptionally low quality post]

Lads can I go to jail if someone commits suicide and blames me?

Basically when I was a kid I was friends with this kid and we played this turn based game where you used resources to build up your village and army. So me and another friend hacked his runescape account and in revenge he wiped out my village in the other game and I never forgave him. As we got older I got "popular" while he kept being a weird shut in who builds pcs. Anyway recently me and a friend thought it would be funny to confront him in public as "creep catchers" and called him a nonce and used fake evidence etc and got like 3000 live watchers on facebook live. Anyway we heard he spazzed out and smashed up his flat and done some other weird shit and threatened to kill himself on facebook. So we quickly deleted the Facebook account we made to upload the video and deleted the video and swore each other to silence. The guy killed himself last night and I found out this morning and now I am scared. Thankfully everyone thinks he is a nonce who got exposed and killed himself so it's not like everyone is blaming us for being scum (only few local people know it was us behind the camera) If he left a note blaming me can I be charged and if so should I just stick to the story he is a nonce and get a younger sibling to accuse him of stuff?

simp

let's relax with that shit kid

shan’t be reading this literal thesis

Do the normal people with gfs and jobs on here browse the same autistic generals i do or do you just post on /brit/. Basically do you have niche hobbies?

didn't read

>*ambulates into barbers*

>*buzz click* alri bossman commence npc haircut protocol zero *whirr*

need one of those asian gfs that are half asian half westernised

not the fully grim westernised ones but the half n half ones innit

not a pixel

kek

giving my todger a roger

>Thankfully everyone thinks he is a nonce who got exposed and killed himself so it's not like everyone is blaming us for being scum (only few local people know it was us behind the camera) If he left a note blaming me can I be charged and if so should I just stick to the story he is a nonce and get a younger sibling to accuse him of stuff?

Attached: 1587780520328.jpg (360x450, 19.39K)

just /brit/ and Zig Forums myself and I only browse /brit/ during toil hours normally

Off to the dodgy 24hr bodega lads, want me to pick anything up?

no way this is real

house simp

when i go to the barbers i just say "half an inch off all over" and let him get to work

homophobe

SCOTTYS IN A FUCKING BOX
IN A BOX
IN A BOX

>Lads can I go to jail if someone commits suicide and blames me?
no
*reads your essay*
hmm
oh
actually
yes
if there's a data trail and the police can be bothered

I’m high as shit watching fooly cooly and I am out of my goddamned mind what’s going on

this is why you dont date 26 year olds

on one hand my medication makes it harder to wank
on the other hand when i do wank it's BIG

keep it clean all i'm asking

Just came 11th on warzone solos
That shit is crazy man

cant honestly say my gf would absolutely MOG any other brit posters gf

yew fokn dick'ead

Travelled to uni from home every day. Also im an awkward fuck

don't do it based on age then do it based on how at risk they are from the virus
that way it's not just boomers who are protected but also people with medical conditions who are at risk
or you know what, let them out, let them get it, let them die if that's what they want
i don't see why the rest of us have to watch our country turn into an impoverished police state because boomers need everyone to self isolate just in case they decide not to
unbelievable
never bought into the boomer meme before but i fucking get it now

Ello good morning!

Honestly reckon I could batter any of you

Attached: 20200503_104005.jpg (2160x2124, 1.72M)

bo-dega?
bod-ega?
bode-ga?
bodeg-a?

placed 2nd the other day, it's 90% luck and 10% retard strength

cant something i wont have (or ever have or ever will)

Finlad?

Attached: images.png (281x179, 6.6K)

FINLAD!!

Attached: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.png (500x483, 130.8K)

grim, why would you do that? moving out is part of the uni experience

*frees the nipple*

snap

slap on the wrist is all

you sound like a fucking cunt that deserves to get shanked in prison

Please use one of your younger siblings as a witness in your case. Literally giggling at the mere thought of being in the courtroom while that shit unfolds

FINLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Attached: 1588006595779.jpg (600x706, 44.01K)

I'm having coofffee right now innit
Have you got coffee

why are you worried about jail?
you're literally destined for an eternity in hell
i'd worry about that

>playing video games

Attached: BVA1wm2CcAAlvt1.jpg (600x309, 33.51K)

Ello finlad

Attached: 1588353917053.png (200x269, 40.18K)

Considering having another cuppa but getting a bit late.

Attached: 1526660362870.png (300x250, 17.96K)

reckon my ex of 4 years mogs yours big time mate

would love to fuck her face back in the day. she looks like shit now sadly but she's old
youtube.com/watch?v=Fk-4lXLM34g

didn’t ask

FUCK

kate's bush

Mummy bought extra bags of quarantine coffee beans because she knows about my voracious caffeine habit

realised I have the upper hand on the british government when I got a jury duty letter and never went to it even though I'd be fined £1000 if i didn't

i am powerful.

Its 100% spatial awareness and being able to get the drop on the enemy and them not knowing where the shots are coming from

Attached: 5D285DED-A2CC-46D1-9E77-5466892F1079.jpg (828x681, 475.42K)

Save money, no interest in drugs, have always been an antisocial cunt etc.

mate falsely accusing someone of being a nonce is an objectively shitty thing to do, even if he was a weird virigin freak. that's like a social stigma that'd never leave him

i doubt anything bad will actually happen but i hope his death weighs down on your conscious for quite some time. which i doubt it will

Is this the new football manager?

ello
I tried non caffine coffee tastes nice that

Attached: 0d6.png (600x597, 594.9K)

Isnt fuckng with condom kind of senseless and not valid enough? I mean that if I ever get to have sex, I'd toss that rubber out of the window if my lady would propose to use it.

Attached: 2abe02fc.jpg (682x610, 40.08K)

now I feel better about all the cunty things I did to my friends when I was younger, lmao

the modern female truly is a grim creature

Attached: 432345345.png (683x454, 36.74K)

he said he CAN'T say that
he's calling her a bit rough innit
saying she's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

back to yililauta

>10:47
THIS IS SUFFERING I WANT LUNCH AND BEERS FUCK THIS

yeah that's cool and all but check out these repeating digits

/brit/ and /lit/

Attached: 1588481468995.jpg (878x740, 332.58K)

Nah I don't think I feel emotions like most people, I kind of feel bad for his family but not to the point it upsets me. It's hard to explain how my emotions work, my friend is really shook up though he said we should go on the run to Scotland

agreed. it's crazy watching someone with high spatial awareness play versus someone with none. comes with playing the game long enough to internalize where everyone's most likely to be

Broooo this fuckin anime got me sweatin

Attached: CF174F58-EE10-4774-9816-226B6BD61E33.jpg (2048x1707, 450.75K)

WTF
how did you do that?!!!1

yabu yanbu?
doesn't he play for man city?

Think you NEEDED to be thrown in the deep end mate, mental how many people come out their shells at uni.
My one flat mate had never been on a night out or ever properly got drunk before. Proper little D&D playing virgin freak studying computing. By the end of uni he was like a totally different person, still a virgin but he was getting there

Attached: 34563456456.png (232x217, 7.83K)

Sorry, she's a 'self-partnered' feminist cunt bitch

Attached: 1582755794247.jpg (960x734, 59.55K)

The fact is that there's not much difference in sensation between wearing a franger and not but there's big psychosexual motivations for not wearing one
t. loves creampieing middle aged Asian prostitutes's rectums

>fight over maccies

Unreal

someone give me attention

>this coomerjak

Attached: 1499665123442.jpg (387x309, 19.67K)