/brit/

i'm sure you'll be a great dad :)

this

poland?

>too religious to have an abortion but not religious enough to avoid premarital sex
ah yes

this happened to me but she had a misscarriage, it was weird being relieved while it broke her heart

What was it

ah the so called trad gf

he's a paki
a bender
a dirty sex offender
he's amer the filthy brown nonce

youtube.com/watch?v=oD2gXY4piF4

This but on an international level, I mean what will the Rothschild do? Attack Britain?

Just pray the child turns out black

Lots of discussion about black fellas with white women coming from the Brits. Reckon you lot talk about it more than we do.

24bn over several years vs 330bn in a couple of months

mong

Adoption

I did a three-log shit once that formed an equilateral triangle, the strongest shape in engineering, and it just wouldn’t flush. I even tried weighting a bit of dental floss with some blu-tack and a 2p to cheesewire it, but it didn’t work. I tipped a kettle of boiling water in there in the hope it would break it down, but nothing. Eventually I realized I was going to have to dislodge it by hand. I put a plastic bag on my hand and plunged in and immediately burned myself as I’d just tipped a boiling kettle in there

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yeah x

the quintessential russian post

she's a fucking innocent woman you freak, you WILL not insult her on my watch

based

English women love black men

jeezus, never seen this one before

the dream

next time to one that looks like a hammer & sickle and post it on reddit

>What will the Rothschilds do? Attack Britain?

They would btfo whoever decided to tell them to fuck off

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In the midst of a pandemic the govt took on debts that will pay decades to pay off? Why don't they do this all the time??

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t. Mbumbu

Marry her, only thing you can do.

No wonder this is the fastest thread on /brit/

90% of inane comments.

many such cases

Yes

PAKI BENDER
CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP
SEX OFFENDER
CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

poo

portugal be kidding me

Not sure what is actually madder, fact there is a global virus forcing thousands of people to stay at home for months or the fact the fucking Tories are paying me to stay at home and not work for months

Truly a once in a lifetime moment I will always cherish

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end lockdown
end furlough

congrats, I am sure you will be a wonderful dad

new?

I was desperate for a wee on a bus once. It was the middle of the night and I was the only passenger, so I was frantically pacing the entire length of it, like a mad bear in a zoo. Eventually I got off, and ran back to my house. I got to the bathroom and thought “Phew, just in time”, but got my thumb stuck in the button-fly of my new jeans and massively wet myself.

no they wouldn't, they're nerds

>rhino ket

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lol good joke, can't be talking about are moni though, she's innocent

>Japanese flag: REVEAL YOURSELF, FOUL VPN SPECTRE
>Russian Flag: alri brat?

English boys too xx

So Bryan Adams is a racist according to leftyspaz

and im not a big picture guy

I was on a date on a Sunday night after a very very heavy Saturday. I hit a sudden point where I was in no doubt that all the shit in the world was about to exit my body. I was in no fit state to make any sensible decisions, so I just ran away, shitting my pants about forty feet into the journey.

>there's two of them

her family will literally hate you forever but enjoy :)

Had the same thing but wasn't sure she was pregnant. And she actually wasn't. Maybe you have a chance...
Also I fucked gf with no condom week ago. I hope she is not pregnant now. I just wanted to nut

Are WHO?

dont be an absent father

nerds are ruthless breh,

Having kids is great, spacker. Unless you're like 20 or she's a bit of a mental case.

You see a retarded post and then remind yourself that literal teenagers post here

and there are a lot of brits, wow mate congrats you stupid low iq twat

the king is back de lads

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A girl I know was talking to her sister about having the people at work hear her poo, and her sister said “Don't you do the toilet roll trick so no one hears your poo going in the toilet?” Unfortunately my friend interpreted this as wrapping her hand in toilet roll and cushioning the fall with her hand, then dropping her poos in the toilet.

congratulations, you've achieved the biological imperative.
you can now enjoy the rest of your life without feeling like you've missed out

We don't have kings in this country.

casual sex havers should be killed

Still banned from that Zig Forums thread we had. Called the janny a nigger and he extended my ban for a week more

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STATE of this country

which one do you mean

Shart shart shart your pants
Gently in the mart
Merrily merrily merrily merrily
In the motorized kart

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why do you care lad? its only a shag

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think again

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As if people could be on furlough for 6 months solid

still astounded at this

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Been blocked from posting images on /vg/ for months now.

I had a boy round at my flat and I told him I was just going to 'freshen up'. I went into the loo, trod in my housemate's diarrhea and had to wash my foot in the sink.

haha, niggers

lots of people dont know giraffes turn black when they get old

nooooo you can't just post the n word

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which one? england, wales, scotland or northern ireland?

The one where someone linked the new as a Zig Forums britgamer general and their monkey janitor freaked out and banned everyone

I miss my Russian wife, we were supposed to be moving in together this summer

fuck off mark

London if building a sperm tower lads

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When I was graduating from very shallow baths to big-boy showers, I accidentally did a poo in the shower while my dad was shaving. I didn't know what to do with it – I couldn't get it to go down the plughole – so I just hid it behind the tap. It stuck out like a shit behind a tap.

>He rose to prominence as the lead singer of rock band The Smiths in 1982 and went on to forge a successful solo career several years later.

>And with his singing career on hold amid the coronavirus lockdown, Morrissey cut a casual figure as he stepped out to buy a loaf of bread in Hale, Cheshire on Tuesday.

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i need to start watching this show again

uncle ben's rice is on offer lads, time to stock up

uganda be lying to me

What happened to her lad.

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he filming Drive 2 or something?

no way mate you're pulling my leg, you're having me on, Uganda be kidding me! \

Goerge Best?

bizzare pose

*strolls in to /brit/*

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that fit is very forward thinking
Morrissey? More like Mogissey

just drank half a carton of almond milk

absolutely based

Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo PooooooooooPooooooooooPooooooooooPoooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo Poooooooooo PooooooooooPooooooooooPoooooooooo

discuss

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astonishing post

so fucking based

Seaside Mark if he had talent

but Sainsbsury's own brand sticky coconut rice is the GOAT and is always 60p or something

One time, traveling in rural China, I found myself needing to go, in a village with no flushing toilets. I was handed a stick and directed to a massive barn and opened to door to find a mountain of shit and soil, I suppose for fertilizing crops. Somehow, I made the assumption the stick was for me to lean on whilst pooping. Long story short, the stick slipped (it was actually intended for me to bury my poop) and I ended up knee deep in organic fertilizer. And to add to the fun, as it was my last day there, everyone in the village had gathered to say goodbye to me, so I walked back to an audience of villagers admiring my completely shit-covered leg.

*walks toward the camera*

NEW

I am, but just because it's fucking hilarious that this is exactly what people were accusing of Corbyn of wanting. Can you imagine the reaction if Furlough had to be put in while he was PM? The right would be loosing their fucking minds over it.

So nah, I'm going to enjoy "government does everything and pays people to be lazy" socialism - courtesy of the Tories, to the fullest extent.

Uncle Ben more like Uncle Tom

Remember this one.
Got banned for linking to a /fti/brit/ myself

Thought he lived in California

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would unironically put it on him and steal that watch off his wrist if he got caught by me in south london

never feel "full" after eating pasta

You got to be kidding me!

no you wouldn't
be quiet

eat whole grain pasta

thankfully moz has more sense than to venture to a wog filled shithole like south london