/brit/

>female friends
simp, soy and bluepilled

remember that absolute cringefest that went on for a couple of weeks after that fella in america died there in june

My mom won't stop feeding me carbs like crisps and mashed potato, piled on my plate like a bloody volcano. My fellow brits, how do you deal with such a circumstance? I've asked nicely angrily etc but she just won't stop

Haven't done psychedelics since I tried to hang myself in a travelodge bathroom in november

she needs a hard fucking by a few rockhard thick black cocks

Any up and coming Californian Findom Girls?

having female friends is great for meeting other women mate

someone's son

grim

Attached: son.webm (576x1024, 1.93M)

foy

fuck off you yank freak

eat it, work out and get juicy

>simp, soy and bluepilled
Chad

*teleports behind you and slices your head off*

/brit/ editions I've made so far:
>sam underhill edition
>michael Bisping edition
>horsegirl edition

is your father home?

Wanked 35 times in one week

blacked doesn't even interest me now that I've started watching women fucking horses way hotter and without any of the guilt

have you ever laughed so hard at something on Zig Forums it made your sides hurt lads

someone's son

grim

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*presses play on tape*
youtube.com/watch?v=eY2gK1MPgh8

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i've cried laughing at stuff on /brit/ before
can't remember any of it though

imagine the smell
youtube.com/watch?v=YPSwqp5fdIw

no, Zig Forums isn't really funny

>here's user, he's just like us girlies teehee
>lets all go shopping together!
sure mate...

probably at one of my gimmicks

yeah
rare but it happens

If you ever see a schizo posting vids of "Priscilla" tell him to go back to sleep.

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Yes, and he is currently severely obese. He used to be able to do the London marathon,but now he could be a great fat father christmas

when i first started coming on i used to cry laughing at Zig Forums greentexts
probably other things too but can't remember
the most you'll get from me now is a slightly harder than usual exhale through the nose

yeah. this.

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unironically audibly laughed for 5 minutes (approx) at this

youtu.be/J_VMWWj9ipY?t=337

no but definaetltely cried of laughter a few times

everyone keeps telling me to have sex but i can't

yeah

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>female friends

What you do is just get on well with your gfs friends and if it all goes south some of them will side with you. Chances are one of them has a crush on you anyway
Will probably be able to shag one of them and they might even become your new gf anyway

Having your own female friends is cringe

lol
na i mean like girls you go to the pub with and that

i'm going FERAL

Take the escort pill

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fucking fucked it lads
didn't get the gf anything for our 1 week anny

only come on Zig Forums for 4 hours a day now and only to moan about not having a gf

>severely obese. He used to be able to do the London marathon
how does that happen? did he get sick at some point? anyway, just because she piles on shit on your plate doesn't mean you have to eat it, get yourself a clean stash in your room

>Uploading files from your IP range has been blocked due to abuse
ah yes

biography of Nicola Sturgeon?

lmaoo who that down syndrome bitch on cats does countdown
ruining it desu

just b ur'reself bro

you first

oh you mean like that lass who gets passed around the group and just likes to be around for the easy access to no strings attached cock?

Am 32 and a virgin and can't go on much longer

why do women do this

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY YOU FUCKING FAGGOT.

YOUR ONLY FRIEND IS YOUR AIDS !!!

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not me :)

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kek this is me

haha yeah got loads in our social group
great though because they often bring mates along

youtube.com/watch?v=g19zKqDt9G

never listened to a rap mix but this is actually sick man

this is literally the answer
The sad thing is incels just think it’s a delusional and cruel taunt while it’s actually the truth

Pédophile de merde.

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la glace, mon vieux

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mad ting

youtube.com/watch?v=5X19dK0OhyY&feature=emb_title

Its a genetic/cultural thing to not waste in my family ,therefore my mom made us fat fucks

one day at a time mate
death will come sooner than you think

>YOUR ONLY FRIEND IS YOUR AIDS !!!
youtube.com/watch?v=4z2DtNW79sQ
it's just you and i my friend :'(

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lol iktf
she also gives me double portions compared to her and dad
very annoying so i just leave it on the plate

omellete du fromage

just get a gf mate
it really isnt that difficult

jimmy carr didn't have sex until he was 26

>americuts

what’s the plan this weekend lads

me? Driving over to the next city to get gf and then we’ll get back on Sunday and shag like rabbits the rest of the day

>blonde is not british.

FONT

whats wrong with yanks lads?
why are they like this?

what the flip!?

as a former athlete i'm sure your father would back you up if you wanted to get in shape and eat cleaner

/brit/ is an alcoholic NEET no-hopers general

im sassy, moody, nasty

vpn using faggot

Close family died, i arranged the funer, am i supposed to turn up with a bunch of flowers or what?

huh its true

>It was also partly religion. I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26. I said that on a Channel 4 advert, but I'm not sure people believed me. A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

think you are thinking of brit/feel/ mate
/brit/ is a shaggers general

Is that considered big? My willy is equal in size to that and I'm white

hey, wanna smash?

youtube.com/watch?v=HKmr2IQ-cN4

mum about to inspect my willard

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and you've got a wicked sense of humour!

thought we were all shaggers

for yanks yeah

Ex gf fucks with some embarrassing dudes. But she’s an embarrassing kid, so...

what's going on with the m4 in wales?
when will the road works stop?

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the universe as it should be

lmao
stfu about my waifu

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Wow that's pretty cool, I'll try it

do people with fit mums have more of an oedipus complex?

samesies

all the girls here are gagging for BWC aftet months in lockdown

she doesn’t even think of you when she’s on her knees yet you post about her everyday and stalk her social media

sad case

M4 from london to Wales
My passenger has red lips
Bright eyes
And curls

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>oedipus
what?

haha

Is there anything more of a danger than dating a chick with BPD? I've met schizos, sociopaths, and other loonies and I'd rather date them a million times over than ever have to deal with a lass that has BPD. Holy actual fuck gas all of em

alri then let’s have a willy survey. what are you boys packing ?

me? 7.3 x 5.8, gf thinks it’s over 8”

for me its those few seconds when going to sleep before you lose consciousness and logic just dissolves and reality becomes crazy

london to ibiza

weedipus

Have been an alcoholic for 14 years already lol

>haha

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vegas to africa

wouldn't know
never dated broken good
why do you bother with the trash bin?

5.5 inches but thicker than average by far

6.5x4.5 pencil for me

/brit/ is an simp, soy and bluepilled, pay piggy general

average woman's brain

5'3/4" x 5"

don't believe this

While Salvador Dali was falling asleep he would hold a spoon over a plate. Before falling asleep completely, the spoon would slip out of his fingers and crash onto the plate and wake him up. This allowed him to remember the strange images he had experienced.

I have a soft spot for mentally damaged women, all three of my exes have been nonced now I think of it and mental issues. Normal woman are out of my league

Based.

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_complex

you dont know? idk what youre whating

that's the best part of the day for me. when you know you're about to fall asleep at any moment and you're just thinking bout cows doing haircuts lmao

>I have a soft spot for mentally damaged women
no you don't
you don't have a healthy amount of self worth and self respect so you feel like the safest option for you is someone broken so you can feel good about yourself looking down at them

>His cock is 5' x 5'
So it's a square

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ibiza to the norfolk broads

I got your thread deleted by reporting it and bumping the old one :^)

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like a chode or ?
women prefer thickness anyway

oof

TO MY MOTHER MY DOG AND CLOOOOWNS

pic
' = feet
" = inch

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youtube.com/watch?v=45qlATQNFyE
ah yes, the youtube algorithm

Don't really care because I have sex