jokes from your country
>little Kalle went to school
>after school he said to his father "I had sex with my teacher"
>Father replied "good job son, I will buy you bike for that"
>they get Kalle a brand new bike
>Father asks "arent you going to ride your new bike"
>kalle says "no, my ass still hurts"
your life isnt a joke user
>Colombus, what should we call what we just discovered?
>love between two men
>no no no the other thing
>Ahhaaa, America then....
man fall over and hurt himself
Ok ok lol this one is funny af
>five men went fishing
>only one of them got fish
>jokes from your country
Once Vovochka fed gasoline to his cat
Cat made three steps and felt.
"Perhaps the gasoline has run out." - thougt Vovochka.
A swedish man wished to become an american citizen. But to become a citizen he had to take a citizenship test. The test was easy. Only one question: what colour are in the flag of united states. The swede was so stressful about the test he decided to cheat by putting on under wear same colored as the flag. On the test day he went in confidently. But after to his shock he didnt get the citizenship. Out raged by this he demanded the test back to see his answer. The answer was yellow and Brown.
0/10
A Finnish man wanted to become an american citizen. But to become a citizen he had to take a citizenship test. The Finn was so stressful about the test that he brought a bottle of vodka. Then he got drunk and stabbed five people. Moral of the story is that Finns are knife wielding alcoholics.
kek
You mom called me on the phone,
Your mom called me on the phone,
Your mom called me on the phone
An american, a german and russian are standing on 30 meter bridge.
A man comes to them.
-If you jump, you'll be given 1.000.000$ - he says to american.
American jumps from the bridge.
-Your motherland and government wants you to jump from this bridge- he says to german.
German jumps from the bridge.
-Sorry, but jumping from this bridge is restricted- he says to russian.
-I give a fuck about your restrictions - says russian and jumps from the bridge.
don't get it
Finnish, norwegian and swedish man were on a deserted island. The tribal boss of island gave challenge to the nordic men. Bring me 10 fruits. The norwegian brought 10 apples. Tribe boss says to him to put the apples in his ass. He only got 3 and was killed. The finn brought 10 beans. Tribal said the same to him. He only got 3 and was killed. In heaven the norwegian asked the finn why you failed with such easy challenge. The finn answered he only to 3 before he started to laugh when he saw the swede pick watermelons.
Here's a stolen one
>Q: A priest and an imam were patiently waiting to board the MRT. When it came, only the imam could go in, why?
A: He heard an announcement "Priest stand behind the yellow line"
epic joke
an american, and arab and a frenchman are on a plane
the plane's engines stop working and the pilot tells them they have to throw away their things to make the plane lighter
the american throws away burgers and says : "it's no problem, i got plenty in my country"
the arab throws away petrol barils and says : "it's no problem, i got plenty in my country"
then the frenchman throws away the arab and says : "it's no problem, i got plenty in my country"
The spots were shit.
>Your motherland
*Fatherland
Little rabbit goes into the cake shop.
>Do you have carrot cake?
>No.
>Okay, goodbye.
Next day, little rabbit goes into the cake shop again.
>Do you have carrot cake?
>No.
>Okay, goodbye.
Next day, little rabbit goes into the cake shop again.
>Do you have carrot cake?
>No.
>Okay, goodbye.
Next day, little rabbit goes into the cake shop again.
>Do you have carrot cake?
>No.
>Okay, goodbye.
Next day, little rabbit goes into the cake shop again.
>Do you have carrot cake?
>Yes we got you some fucking carrot cake.
>Okay, I was just asking. Bye.
Meh they don’t translate well, here’s a simple one:
A Svan tells his girlfriend to come alone at a certain tower and that nobody will be there.
She does and turns out there’s really nobody there.
I remember hearing that one on some old bunny jokes vinyl from my grandma
wut
Comrade Stalin is reported that a telepath psychic came to him and want to talk to him.
-Shoot him. If he were a telepath psychic, he wouldn't come.
>Eastern European "humor"
lmao swedes are so dumb
>wut
"Prease stand" sounds like "priest stand"
Oh yea I’ve heard this one from a boomer
I am terribly sorry, sir.
Of course it is fatherland.
Deitchland, deutchland uber ales la la la la la lal la la.
Jewish man was sitting in a park in Moscow, reading a book.
Police officer walked by and asked
>what are you reading?
Jewish man answered
>I'm learning hebrew in case I got into Heaven
Police asked him back
>what if you end up in Hell?
>oh it is no problem, I already know russian
Said the jewish man
-give me a beer
-without alcohol?
-no, without lactose
-that's ridiculous
-you started it
Yiorgos and Fritzl have a conversation:
Yiorgos says:
>You won't believe what happened to me last night, a gypsy broke into my house and stole the TV set, the AC and the sofa, right in front of my eyes
Fritzl says:
>That wasn't a gypsy Yiorgos, that was the repo man, and it was me who sent him
little Kalle went to store
shovel
Im gonna vote and it will make a difference!
A Lithuanian, Anglo aand Chinese climb a mountain.
Lithuanian shouts:Aš tave myliu!
Echo: Aš tave myliu myliu!
Anglo shouts: I love you!
Echo: I love you you!
Chinese shouts: 我爱你!
Echo: What, blyat...
jej
haha
A Greek, a Spaniard, and a Portuguese are are drinking in a pub. Who pays?
>The German
A man dies and goes into haven. There, he sees Saint Peter and hundreds of clocks.
All of them have names on them: Trump, Merkel, Macron, Putin, etc.
-What are all these clocks for?
-These represent the most important leaders in the world, and whenever they say something stupid, their clock moves forward a minute.
-But where's Orbán, why don't I see him?
-Oh, that's in my office, I'm using it as a fan.