Cool life hacks in your cunt

Lemme me share some real knowledge here, the french can thank me later. Also stab wounds are similar to gunshot wounds so some of this stuff works for both.
First off, appendicular wounds, that is when you get stabbed in the arm or leg. Simple as shit, all you have to do is control the bleeding and then calmly walk to your local hospital just in case. First thing you try is cleaning the wound then covering it with gauze and applying pressure on top of the wound, if the gauze gets too wet do not remove it, just put more gauze on top. If that doesn't work you try applying indirect pressure, that is pinching down on the nearest artery to slow down the blood flow, just don't over do it. You have internet so you can google the location of all arteries in the body, learn the location of the brachial and femoral arteries and you should be fine. If none of that works you use a tourniquet and call a fucking ambulance cause you're fucking dying. Apply the tourniquet about three or four fingers above the wound and if possible try to write down the exact time you applied it, that can save your arm/leg.
Now you can also get stabbed in the chest, if it hits heart you pray the peaceful muslim who stabbed you doesn't teabag you while you die but if it hit off to the sides in the lung area then you might live but you'll need medical attention, you should also clean the wound and apply a flutter valve, pic related, to keep your lungs from collapsing. You'll still die of haemorrhage without medical help though.
If you get the Bolsonaro treatment and get stabbed in the gut there's not much you can do, there's a high risk of sepsis so might die either way but you can try to contain the bleeding by applying direct pressure just like you would do with appendicular wounds but in this case make sure to use wet gauze so it doesn't stick to your insides once the blood dries out. Make sure to not drink even a single drop of water or anything else and pray the ambulance comes fast.

Attached: this is a flutter valve.jpg (1000x750, 123K)

Based Brazilian stab wound informer

Drink water before meals, so you feel filled. :-(

Why? Because Brazil is filled with feral african niggers and "peacefully muslims"?

If you get into a knife fight make sure to hold the knife in your fist and not with your fingers. Stab, don't slash.

so upper torso stabs are fatal? and in the lower torso/guts, how much time without medical attention do you have before sepsis kills?

Upper torso stabs are usually fatal without proper medical help, yes. If you've ever been you in the army you know that they're trained to shoot in that area partly because of this and also because it's a bigger target than the head.
Sepsis. How much time you have is difficult to determine, you might have less than a day or over a week and it's one of those things you can't do a thing about on your own, you need to go to a hospital.

>Cuba
Now that's an interesting Pokemon.

so about the chest stabs, do they kill instantly? and silently? can the stabbed person still respond, make noise, raise alarm etc? how difficult is it to stab someone through the rib cage? what if the heart is missed? do they collapse instantly on the ground or can they still resist for a time after the stab? how does it all work? what strength is necessary to go through all the winter clothing and ribs/spine bones if i am from behind, to get to the heart?

i know from construction workplace accidents that stabs to the head are not fatal at all, there is braindamage but people stabbed through the skull remain fully responsive

I see you'd rather be on the other end of the knife, eh?
Instakill stabs are a hollywood thing and if the victim is high on adrenaline he can and most likely will fight back, that's why a lot of knife fights end with both parties dead. Even if you do hit the heart it will still take a few seconds.
How much force you need to go through the rib cage and thick clothing i really don't know but i imagine it depends on the knife, a pointy stabby thing will go in easier than a broad cutting knife. This might be bullshit but i think i've seen somewhere a guy stabbing the heart through the neck, stabbing downwards, i think it was from a movie so it is possibly bullshit but i really don't know, maybe it does work. I've never stabbed anyone to know.

well yes, i would actually pick a screwdriver for this, broad knife could work as well if supported by a more massive object such as a rifle, i doubt i would be able to reach the heart with the hand held knife, i'd rather choose a screwdriver for this
and yes, i had a very strong suspicion that 'instakills' are a hollywood nonsense, i know people with slit throats can move around for a very long time and make all sorts of noise, i also know that neck is very muscular and "snapping" the neck would probably require superhuman strength, but i suspect that if you approached someone from behind and put a hand over their mouth as you stabbed them just behind a collar bone while holding a knife/screwdriver point down, it would accomplish a silent kill probably... right?

My guess is as good as yours on this one, i imagine it won't make much noise and if you hold tight on the mouth he won't be able to scream but can still trash around and make knock stuff down your even break free, not to mention one of your hands will be busy with the screwdriver instead of holding him down. Since you're gonna come from behind, why don't you try the classic chloroform and get him out before the stabbing? That way he can't fight back or scream and you get some free stabs, just remember that it takes a while for that work and he won't be out for long.
Either way it will still make a bit of a mess, why don't you try something more subtle like poisoning?

i know that army has scouts, recon patrols, artillery observers and all other sorts of light infantry that has to infiltrate the front and silently kill guards and patrols before the offensive starts or before front penetration with tanks and everything else, i wonder how do they do it? i wonder if you can google any army manuals that explain how/where to stab people , i dont know who else in society would even know about such things lol
carrying poisons around seems expensive and suspicious tho, meanwhile anyone can have a screwdriver

Go on /k/ and ask for a link to the do/k/ument or the ar/k/, that should have all you need.

Put your dog's favourite treats in your dirty socks over night
Feed them to your dog the next day
Repeat every day for three weeks
Your dog will walk beside you all the time now, forever, no leash needed!

Attached: 48ee4142d8e76accb589be1d28447c39.jpg (608x925, 47.77K)

TOP FUCKING KEK THIS EXISTS HERE TOO

That's a lot of socks, Manuel, you sure this works?

Surely cuban medics healed a los of stabings.

I salute you brazilianbro.
How are yo doin with Bolsonaro?

Just use the ones you used during the day!
It's a trick of pastores to train their sheep dogs.

But what if they are born that way?

Snow doesn't make wood get inherently wet, so just dust off the logs before bringing them inside and they'll be perfectly usable.

Yeah but that's 21 socks, does it matter if use cheap cotton socks for this? Won't it do any harm to the dog's intestines or something?

Kek you don't feed them the socks, you feed them the treats (biscoitos), then they will associate the smell of your feet with something they like

Kek, i just read it again and realised it. Fuck, i think i'm retarded.

>21 socks
>Not reusing the same socks between weeks.
You guys don't have Laundromats?

Follow the reply chain. And no, we don't have laundromats, everyone has their own washing machine at home.

Don't worry bro, english is just a retarded, treacherous language

I read it as "your dog's favourite treats are your dirty socks over night", they seems to like chewing on mine so it made sense.