/brit/

29 and never shagged or kissed a girl
fuck it

Lost mine at 19 and the girl kept asking me how I was still a virgin

lol state of this ad

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Do not like the lads talking about how early they shagged. Makes me feel bad when even 190 and diego have shagged before me

vile little slug

how old are you lad?

First for Princess Diana

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doing same but am tucked womfy in bed
normoids seething at my basitude

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Ye not bad ini

enjoying my time being NEET and seeing the wageoids going to work seething hahahahah

you??

janiturd

21

Diana was pretty ugly ngl

lost mine at 20 and told the girl i had never eaten pussy before and she couldnt believe it. It was a tactical telling of the truth as she then would assume i wasnt a virgin, just a non pussylicker

>even 190 and diego have shagged
hmmm

oof

Lost my virginity at 35 to a soho walk up

My 1k crypto investment is down £700 since jan 2018. I lost so much on fees and buying shitcoins. No idea how to get the rest out either cause ive lost my coinbase account email and password

slapper

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>I've been diagnosed with depression

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hungry

lol state!

there's a gathering of pavement apes blasting music in their shitty 25% APR dodges that they pawned the title for outside my window

look lad, we can't all be as attractive as you.

She was beautiful

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lost my virginity when i was 11 to a model. she was like 29, and she wanted more

I did a 69 the first time I had sex

>mind keeps bringing up embarrassing things you did in the past
fuck off mind

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I guarantee nobody in this thread is as good at eating pussy as me.

The secret is being deeply in love with that pussy.

I LITERALLY know a lad with cerebral palsy who lost his virginity at age 20

>losing your virginity in your 20s
dire
imagine missing out on shagging throughout secondary school, sixth form and uni lmao

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday.
Not only was it awful it was awful.

It's not even helpernonces tripcode and he's mugged you all off

what did diana know that we never could?
they didnt ice her because she was shagging a paki or whatever the mainstream conspiracy theory is

my name is john and i hate every single one of you

looks like a line manager at a TNT call centre

was fun desu

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eat this!
*presents hairy pooey arse*

do you want me to kill myself lad?

She wasn't really. If she was dressed in trackies with her hair tied back, you wouldn't look at her twice. Someone like January Jones would be fit even if she'd been dragged half a mile behind a tractor.

did you eat her pussy

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no such thing as alcohol hangovers
only comedowns from the drugs

Mental how important women are for royals
Charles - ruined
William - saved
Harry - ruined

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What about losing it in your 30s?

yeah i had a nibble, was alright nothing mental

Maggie should have finished the job.

Ex said she didn't like getting her pussy eaten, only did it a couple of times. Don't know if she was full of shit or not

my entire life is a cringe compilation

probably some nonce stuff about andrew/maxwell/epstein

should have necked yourself before then

landmines?

almost cerrrrrtaaaaaainlyyyyyyy

Yeah, no

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I hope she wasn't that'd make pussy licking disgusting haha x

paying netflix however much I'm paying them monthly while never watching it cause too busy listening to choons or random youtube shit

me? 47 year old virgin

necking myself

THERE GOES PHILLIP BANKS, THE BIGGEST ASS, THAT EVER LIVED, WHAT A DOUCHE.

dadberg ordered thai

classic shagger move

Mental how you just so happened to have that image on hand

>18
ngmi

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None of the girls I've shagged have wanted it done to them. Many don't like the idea of someone they like up and close with their minge. The last gf liked me to rub her against her knickers before sex under the covers.

>He didn't go for the plain insecure girls at 16 and shagged them before their egos got inflated by society
State of you lot

Why don't you see a prozzie?

any literal alcoholic man in

Been prescribed venlafaxine and lamotrigine for the ol' depression

I'd rather be a virgin desu

never had a double bed in my life

Girls really are at their most beautiful just before they realise it.

>None of the girls I've shagged have wanted it done to them
me too
why do girls get weird about receiving oral

pet nigger ate my stash of weed
set me back probably $150

>tfw no jewish waifu to shove hairbrushes up her ass

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I'm fairly sure her this is the last thing her fanbase would want surely

theres no chemical solution to a spiritual problem

medal is in the post

They're all insecure at that age
It's how nonces get away with it. They like the idea that they can attract an older, powerful man, that they have some power over him

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see

Think I'll order a Chinese tomorrow.
might get a takeaway too

'

reckon booze is the last thing i would get hooked on
far too many negatives

alreet

*raises hand

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Used to be now I just drink tins of lager when I'm off work

'

>Philip Duke of Edinburgh, 99
>Henry Kissinger, 97
>Jimmy Carter, 96
>Queen Elizabeth, 94
>George Soros, 90

How do they do it? Will there be a lot of happenings next year?

No idea. She was happy giving blowjobs though

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tried the christpill before
could never fully commit to faith

The Queen's Gambit is arguably the greatest TV programme of all time

don’t want a gf
fucking despise women, me

Charles is unintelligent and got 1 C and 1 D at A-Level, probably been shoehorned into a role he hasn't wanted all his life.

William is relatively intelligent, probably midwit tier

Harry was a racist nazi and joined the army but also prosecutes people who say bad things about his wife.

I don't think the womyn have anything to do with it, or at least they're a representation of the male to a certain degree.

feel like Zig Forums has lost some of its influence on here in the past year
was the top board in terms of creativity not so long ago

state, at least get addicted to something worth it like heroin

me (obviously) on the left

whoa dude how do (((they))) get that old

could you shut the fuck up for once

Gf is trying to draw me into her conflicts with her housemates again...

didn’t know carter was still kicking

Philip’s been dead for decades mate

Had an Indian from Shaks

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what are we sipping tonight?
ive only got some 4% lagers in which are fucking shit
anything below 5% can fuck right off

reading henry kissinger biography right now
it's decent so far

Always struck me as weird yank parents buy their 7 year old kids double person beds. Didn't get a proper queen-sized until I was 22

yank mindset
FOY

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phoneposter

i assumed kissinger died before i was born tbqh

I'm on gin tonight lad

why is that weird?

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mumberg on about getting me an apple watch for christmas
anyone know if they're any good? never really wanted one but i don't have any other suggestion for her

Fucking riled me up at the end, what a pointless insult to Russians and female chess players.

looool

Havign this with lemonade tops so I can actually drink it

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still have a single bed at 27

i'll be cracking open the stella artoiseseseseses at midnight

heroin is as British as Big Ben

Bob Dole's 97 (lost against Bill Clinton in the 1996 election)

Yanks tend to be fat enough to need a king size by the time they are 17

it’s true though
alcohol is the shittiest drug to get addicted to
you’re addicted to acting like a five year old. what the fuck?

alri

Whiskey. About half a bottle at this stage.

*dabs on the irish*

What?

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shut up mate

Become an alcoholic then submit to a higher power to get off it, kickstart the faith

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>Living past 90
is it even worth it?

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Based. Having sex with some random slut isn't the same as a girl who has affection towards you. You will just feel disgusted afterwards instead of happy.

arrest her

Heroin is Scottish
Weed is British

>apple watch

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Does it scare you that youre going to die one day?

do cute british girls find manlet colombians cute?

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>it’s true though
>alcohol is the shittiest drug to get addicted to
>you’re addicted to acting like a five year old. what the fuck?
as opposed to taking some opioids that make you zomb out for 24 hours?

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>alcohol is the shittiest drug to get addicted to

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Religion dying out rapidly in the civilised world (Europe, Canada, Japan, Korea).
Fundementalism spreading rapidly amongst the low IQ barbarian nations (Africa, Middle East, USA).
What do you think this all means?

Just redpilled my mom on qanon

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it’s because we have bigger houses and bigger bedrooms
had a queen size since I was a kid

No, fuck you

Thought you'd only the one can left.

oldest bloke is a chinese man who lived to 250+

probably just assume you're a paki/indian

Heroin is literally healthier than alcohol

yes, i get really anxious and start running across my room saying "no no no no no" i imagine myself not existing and the world around me continuing like if it was nothing.

mate as i said i don't really want it but what can you do
ik she won't give me the money instead cause she wants to give me a real present
let me cope please
she said i can use it for my 'fitness training'

It's a fucking kid, who would be sleeping next to them spoiled little cunts

Sex, maybe

But a blowjob from a girl who knows what she's doing is the greatest physical pleasure a man can experience.

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I like the way most us presidents had a military background. Wish we had some sort of draft or conscription system. It would help fix the class divide.

used to share a single bed with my little brother when i was quite young

karl pilkington was right about asians

can't tell if the toilfu was a genuine awkward nice girl or a bit of a turbo slag

why

There are 6 World leaders who have been in charge since before the 80s.

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youtu.be/Pg7y4czi3UQ

Just beautiful

actually do intend to watch this

want to watch the movies first. too many fucking series on it for me to realistically keep up with

gay

didn't ask

why do alcoholics always get so defensive over their drug of choice?
bartards don’t get this bent out of shape over being told how shitty theirs is

who's this bitch please? finna cooom

used to sleep feet to feet us 2

you need to get out of the house more lad

based teodoro ngubu banana monke

so what? they will probably sleep in that bed for the next 15 or so years. having a double bed isn't about sleeping for two people, as the name implies. it's comfort for one person.

Gf got me a PS5

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could literally buy a solid gold watch with that money

Yeah I've just cracked it

all me

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That top spot is actually mental because it says in Genesis that a man SHAN'T live beyond 120 years old (they lived up to like 900 at the start of the bible) because man simply cannot stop being a twat and thus doesn't deserve to.

Mental that the bible people got that one almost exactly right circa 5000 years ago.