I'm a neet. I've never held a job for more then 3 months in the past 5 years and haven't worked in over a year. I've been submitting my shitty resume to various jobs but I can't get any responses.
I'm not trying to fake a degree or anything I just want to fill in the large gaps in my history of doing literally nothing. Pls help
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this picture makes no sense. her proportions are all fucked up
You are so fucking stupid OP. Just fake disabilities and get gibs
Seriously how do I do this? and How much is it worth?
COVID is going to give you a good opportunity because of all the businesses that will go under
Put down bullshit like independent contractor, dog walker, make up some fake github shit, it depends on where you're trying to get a job. Amazon doesn't give a fuck and will literally hire crackheads off the street as long as you put 'hispanic' on your resume. Never put White though, you'll never get hired anywhere. Experience matters less than being a shitskin in 2020, so just fake that instead.
You could always say that the downturn caused you to be out of work for a while
Honestly, though, if you can't think of a good way to get around a gap in employment you're probably a retard that will never amount to anything anyways
Where are you applying to and what are you setting to get with these applications?
Would you take literally any job? like at a gas station or thrift store?
Are you doing any type of gig-work/microjobs that'll fill in the gaps while you get a job?
Lyft? Doordash? Amazon Microturk?
What did you do in these years of "doing literally nothing"? just drink and browse Zig Forums.
We need some details mate. Just to know where we can help you.
I don't want to amount to anything. I never have, I just want a simply honest life but that doesn't seem to be possible anymore.
>am white
>worked for amazon one summer
>got rehired the next
They'll take literally anyone that can walk. desu.
Seriously dude if you're in the states just put 'hispanic' on your resume, I was in a similar position as you and couldn't get a fucking job and then someone on Zig Forums told me to put hispanic next time and I got a call back from 6 jobs in the same fucking day. It's insane, but that's our shitty country nowadays.
Dunno, they rejected me in one city and then hired me in another after I put I was a spic on my application.
>Would you take literally any job? like at a gas station or thrift store?
Pretty much any job I can save money on with the exception of jobs that require you to use your own car for work.
>Are you doing any type of gig-work/microjobs that'll fill in the gaps while you get a job?
no
>What did you do in these years of "doing literally nothing"? just drink and browse Zig Forums.
vidya, internet and anime.
Amazon is a last resort, I don't think i'd last more then 3 months there before becoming suicidal. Ideally i'd like a job that doesn't have much socializing.
Doy have highschool education? Any college?
Look around the jobs on LinkedIn and Indeed and filter for shit that only requires highschool or GED. A lot of financial processing roles require no college and only some socialization, since you'll be doing paperwork in an office all day.
I'm an underwriter analyst at an insurance firm and I know a lot of these banks will take highschool educated people to become underwriters.
No college but I did graduate high school. Thank you for the advice. I recently applied to finance associate position at a insurance company. They never got back to me.
Do you have a linkedin?
It's basically the next thing an employer looks at after your resume, and the site has a quick resume builder that could be of use to you.
Just want to make sure you have everything you can put on the resume on it. For me, I squeezed out as much experience as I could to put on that thing.
Lie about your previous jobs, say you did them for a year or more instead of 3 months to fill the gaps
>Seriously how do I do this? and How much is it worth?
youre probably autistic already. just act more autistic than you are .
>I just want to fill in the large gaps in my history of doing literally nothing. Pls help
just say you where a freelancer or some shit. say you where trying to make it as an artist or as a musician. maybe even writer. Photographer /movie maker or whatever artsty shit you can think of /did. Did you make shitty youtube vids EVER? just say you tried to become a movie maker but failed miserably. idk man.
Has anyone tried lying about community service?
>wants simple honest life
>can't hold job for more than a few months
I'd say go for what you can. And accept whatever comes. Get the job that calls back, whatever it is, and build as much experience as you can within there. Take on tasks outside your roll, be open to learning, etc.
Then learn how to use language in a resume so you can turn whatever you did into a variety of experiences. I worked at an amazon warehouse with a ton of Sudanese people, and I still use it today as experience for communicating with other cultures and people. You can flip the perspective people have of things you did with just a little fancy language.
In the meantime, while your applications are out and you're not making money, volunteer somewhere and do the same. Employers really like volunteer work, and it's another opportunity to create a wide variety of experiences to get cited later on a resume.
Apply as far as you can and work on getting more material for your resume while the applications get processed.
>I'm an underwriter analyst at an insurance firm and I know a lot of these banks will take highschool educated people to become underwriters.
What do I need to do on my resume to get such a job and where do I look?
t. Have a useless business degree
Put that you were a manager at Toys R Us. Who are they going to call?
>useless business degree
My degree was in business admin and economics. Degrees aren't useless all the time, especially business.
I got in through a hiring agency. A lot of them have connections that'll make jobs that aren't publicly available open to you. It's quite useful.
What else is on your resume other than the degree. I honestly think it was my interview that got me the job.
You can't even land a fast food job?
top kek.
Wait how do I get away with this user?
Sincerely unemployed and havent been able to get a job
You won't. They'll ask for a supervisor name and contacts and then you're fucked.
Don't. I did this and its been miserable. I did it so I don't have to pay back college loans. Worth it in that respect to some degree if you're loan-trapped but to just exist or for the free money, no way not worth it.
You'll feel awful wishing you had something fulfilling taking up your time. You'll be desperate to have some sort of identity you can share and living on disability and not being allowed to work will have you rationing your meager funds to small pleasures while you're forced to live with parents while looking for under-the-table work.
If you do get on disability, you can use that time to learn new skills but it won't help your work history issues. Hopefully some other anons can advice you on faking your resume, as I'd like to see as well...
Ehh thats easy to get away with via they prefer not being contacted. I mean lets ve real if you were a supervisor do you really want to answer the phone for all the hr personnel calling?
say you were working abroad. teaching English in China or something. find some random happy giraffe school and say you worked there. no way the new boss is gonna call
If you are applying for large companies they almost always use an ATS (applicant tracking system) like Workday or Taleo. Mindless HR faggots don't want to actually do their job, so they use an ATS to filter their applications based on keywords.
This forces you to do the following
>read the job description
>rewrite your whole fucking resume to make sure all the right keywords match
Now you can get a phone screening.
If you're not an autist this should lead to a real interview
jobscan.co
I don't think you read the post. I'm a NEET. Thats already been my life for the past 5 years.