Maintaining productivity when uselessly suicidal

Subject covers the totality of the thread’s essence. I already know that I can’t override my survival instinct and need to spend less time hibernating or needlessly focused on the usual reasons to curl up under the table.

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adderall

going outside is a start. gets your vitamin D. also start eating healthier and exercise and you WILL feel better. willpower is not something i can teach you over the internet, you gotta do it yourself user.

Recently ran out but that wasn’t really helping much a few weeks ago even when I’d binge on it before I ran out due to depleting my stash as a result of my relationship with Coronachan.

I’ve only been lifting/eating well for about 15 months now and while my physical pain is significantly reduced I’ve still got a pretty shitty mentality in general. I’ve cut out a huge chunk of my outdoorsmanship because of increased foot traffic on most of the trails.
For expedience sake in regards to the things I have to know, at this point in life I’d say that I know enough about myself that I probably don’t want to be content in life so it’d mostly be a waste of time to try and boost productivity by attempting to lift my spirits.

Trails are overcrowded here too in the northeast for the last 5 years or so. It's like a overpopulated mouse utopia. Noticing the behavioral sink too.

While I wouldn’t be surprised if a lab technician pulled me out of the overpopulated labyrinth and told me that I was a miserable prick because I’m one of the ‘beautiful ones’ the results of the experiment prove that it wouldn’t do anyone any good . Beyond that, I’m still more inclined to interpret my on mental state as a result of being innate rather than induced.
The question is how to at least spend less time excessively down and out.

MBSR. There are free corses online. Try it.

I don’t think I’ve ever really fully grasped the concept or applied it to life for sustained periods. Is it similar to the radical acceptance angel of keeping things in perspective? I usually face plant all forms of mental rewiring that have to do with changing outlooks on existence with different generalities.

What needs do you have that are being unmet? Or perhaps it was a past event that is casting a shadow on you currently?

Hard to give an honest answer on intangible essentials of life because I’m not convinced that the majority of pathways in life are designed to provide fulfillment. In regards to the bare essentials most agree on I’d say that the most obvious are low human intimacy and mildly bummed about having to rethink plans for the future due to various opportunities getting axed by prison planet. Both of these could be chalked up to Corona since everyone could argue that the current conditions do not allow them to meet their basic needs for life but I’d tempered my expectations for failure in both regards and been more miserable under better circumstances both materially and socially.

As far as a prognosis is concerned I don’t really have much to offer; I’m inclined to say the majority of my past experiences are entirely manageable and I don’t tend to focus on past events when turning to vices in order to cope. I’m really just looking for more methods to grease the wheel in order to keep moving forward since I’m usually just preoccupied by the general gloom in the air and occasional few weeks of
>you should really just fucking kill yourself even though you know you won’t

Have sex. I'm not saying that ironically, when I go for a long time without sex I begin thinking thoughts like this. Once you bust a nut, your existential misery will vanish for a while and you'll be happy being a monkey man again.

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>Have unironic sex.
I have to admit that’s a point A to B means of solving the issue that I haven’t heard put seriously. Suppose I haven’t got much to lose since you are on the mark and I’ve gone without for a while.

idk man I'm usually pretty good at it but lately I don't wanna go outside cause I'll sweat

Whichever route you decide to go with, make sure you don't think about it too hard. Being caught in a negative thought loop makes you think that absolutely nothing in the world would help, but the nature of the logical mind is to be tense, to be anxious, to feel lacking. Just try things outside of the box until you are broken out of your loop. Trust the process, good luck user.

Much obliged, I’ll try to avoid falling into trench thought. It’d be easy to give the tired line of fuck roasties if I were a still space robot, but after you get lucky and snag a few qts you realize that fucking roasties really isn’t that bad.

Why are you sweating user? Summer is almost over.

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I've been reading

books

Got anything worth adding to the backlog? I'm almost finished with The Camp of The Saints and it's been one of the best means of increasing my perception of potential dystopian endgame scenarios.

You sound like you have some philosophical inclinations. Have you tried writing out your thoughts? Reading philosophy, fiction, etc.? I found out that's a good way to cope for some time. Although I'm really convinced that human socializing face to face is practically everything you need to stop the descent into madness

>some philosophical inclinations
I started reading for purposes of political self-education before learning that politics is effectively applied philosophy. As a singular identifier I’d say that I’m a baseline Orwellian in outlook and introspection, to flesh my stance on this further I’ll just give you a window into my thought process in relation to the panopticon while typing this post:

>start typing timeline of completed readings
>realize as I’m correcting reading record that I cannot post it or even type it due to telemetry identification
>decide to type botched half complete general record instead
>read the second draft and delete it all again
>decide I should still post something

I’ve started with the Greeks, resumed with the Romans, am not entirely biblically illiterate. This and all other philosophical reading has effectively mixed in for the political practicality that comes with understanding how to survive our impending Brave New World. I’m only a few years into reading more esoteric history and literature.
>Have you tried writing out your thoughts?
The greentext probably illustrates the dilemma I have with even contemplating documenting my thinking. As range bans of VPNs have been steadily perfected I’ve had far fewer boards to post on and generally post far less, I only dropped shields today because I was getting too wrapped up in my own self destructive thoughts.
>Although I'm really convinced that human socializing face to face is practically everything you need to stop the descent into madness
This is probably beyond dispute, it's tough living as a human plant. Unfortunately I get the sense that I'm a cyberian prole guilty of immensely abrasive thought crimes that cannot be mitigated through newspeak.

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More like cognitive behavior therapy with yoga. But I found it a nice break from the everyday. Physically and mentally. Sometimes it's nice to slow down. It' ben helpful for me in mastering the connection between body and mind, but not in an esoteric way. More of a Karate Kid way. I hope that make sense.

Step 1. Get over yourself
Step 2. Wake up
Step 3. ???
Step 4. Profit!

I don’t think too much was lost in translation. I’ve had experience with CBT and DBT as they’ve been the approved doctrines from the panel at the top of the DSM for a while now. The orthodox methods of therapy come across as more treatment oriented than focused on curing anything in any respect, I do find that deep breathing practices help significantly though.

How to accomplish step 1? I spend most of my time in some form of conflict or another with myself.

For me, orthodox method are results focused with a cost benefit involved. And not holistic at all.
>spend most of my time in some form of conflict or another with myself.
That's exactly what MBSR helps with, connecting better with yourself and others. It sounds so cheesy buts, you need to want to change. The rest is easy. Google MBSR and do the 8 week course. It has data to back it up.

just be yourself bro

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>For me, orthodox method are results focused with a cost benefit involved.
That’s a fair point, and I should have noted that I’ve already searched up and skimmed over the page online. Heterodoxy doesn’t guarantee results but in this case my hesitation comes from psychology being linked at the hip to psychiatry and pharma. I plan giving everything in the thread posted in good faith a try.

I’ll take this into account as a notice for borderline guroposting on a blue board.
Being myself will get me b& and v& on the party bus.

For step 1, try out mushrooms. Otherwise, use your brain to outbrain yourself to the point that thoughts net out.

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Holy shit lmao at that pic. King memer made that OC

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I've already tried all of the lucky charms in the attached bowl of cereal. I’m waiting for things to die down before I indulge because all of the animosity in the air this year would just ruin any trip I might go on. How much of mediation isn’t a meme? To give you an idea of how relevant carrying stress is for me I pretty much have to keep myself from clenching when stressed out to avoid crunching my face into pieces.

Figure I should ask (you) about meditation practices as well.

fug, I dropped my pic.

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>I've already tried all of the lucky charms in the attached bowl of cereal.
Stopped reading here. Step 1: get over yourself. Sage.