I bullshitted my way into a 100K a year

I’ve been applying to sales positions with a bullshit fake degree I photoshopped companied with a resume I copied that shows 10+ years of sales experience and I was just hired on a big company as a senior sales rep and I have zero clue what I’m doing. Any sales fags here that can quickly run me through the lingo? It’s a payment processing company. I think I’m basically selling payroll to companies ? I’m so fucked someone with knowledge pls help I really need this money

Attached: 230BA2B8-972D-4A3D-823C-80925E021584.jpg (550x978, 66.31K)

larp

if Trump was able to larp his way into the oval office i have faith in you user. Anything can be done

i'm pretty sure you just play golf and get drunk with other guys who barely do anything

based and hilarious if true

Where's that copypasta with the old guy business wojak?

Find a good audiobook on sales.
Get in your car.
Drive until you have listened to the entire thing.
Repeat every time you get a chance.
You'll be caught up in no time.

sales is all emailing people and calling them and talking about the product. thats it. just pester people about the product until they buy it

>payment processing
ngmi

kek this is the ultimate blackpill, until diplomas and other education shit is in one unified system scum like us will shit on the brainlets actually wasting their time "studying"

Attached: 1607813100509.png (602x423, 60.26K)

It’s true. And I’m worried I got myself into a big fuck here. I guess I’m just gonna wing it. This company pays residuals for life on deals closed. If I can work this I’ll be set

Payment processing is just transaction processing for companies. Just know your numbers and be friendly/not too pushy with your clients. Also, always be closing “ABC”. Find a way to get your client to be signing documents and paying you money. This is the essence of sales.

Lying is how you get ahead in life, especially for a fuck up like me

What kind of payment processing exactly? I work at Ford eCommerce and we need to replace Fiserv since they're shit.

Former sales, and it's not as easy as cold calling or just randomly showing up at places. You can belt feed emails to up and coming companies, but a large portion of your work will come from upselling your existing product to current customers (basically, getting them to buy access to more features your company offers). Cozy up with existing customers and follow any leads. Eventually one will spill it as to knowing another company that'll need your company's service. Ask them politely to refer you to their point of contact they know.

>Hey, Sergey is it? This is user with (insert company). Vitalik and I got to talking and he said you may be in need of...

A lot of it is patience. Best of luck and good job bullshitting your way into a good job.

Thanks. I’m worried about the lingo, I have to sound knowledgeable. I just need to survive until I can learn enough to look and sound the part. I’m just trying not to get fired so I can make a few 100k and put it into crypto. I’m shocked I even got this far

This is solid thanks I can tell you have some experience. You sound like the people I interviewed with what they were saying

Payroll for business I believe its payroll software I’m selling to businesses

Read the straight line method by Jordan belfort

get a part time job at a used car dealership for a bit and they will train you.
Make sure some greasy italian/cuban guys run it, you will be able to sell ice to an eskimo within weeks.

Attached: 40FB835C-077B-196D-1E457C9F115E07AD.jpg (2832x4256, 3.34M)

Thanks will consider

I did something similar but for an entry-level position. All my work experience was irrelevant bs from bankrupt companies, but I didn't want to admit to being a neet. It ended up working out great.

I’ll check that out. I actually just watched Belforts trading documentary called Trader(1987) he tried to get it deleted off YouTube but I downloaded a copy

>sales
>100k a year
no way in hell you'd ever make that base. only from commissions

probably larp but hilarious nonetheless

Attached: 1572718398516.png (198x198, 59.69K)

based Josè poster

Read Influence by Robert Cialdini
It gives interesting views into how sales people operate etc. The key ideas are CLASSR
C:
Liking - obvious, if they like you they'll help you
Apeal to Authority - 4 out of 5 dentists recommend
Social Proof - monkey see monkey do
Scarcity - convince someone something is scarce then they are more likely to want it
Reciprocity - do something nice for someone and they feel an obligation to return the favor (Read how Hare Krishnas hand out roses at airports and get donations)

If not larp, I'm not even mad.

forgot
C -> consistency, if someone does something then they will feel their future actions need to be consistent with their past

Read “how to win friends and influence people”

Start some fake companies overseas and sign some contracts. You’ll get the credit for them and by the time they get written off as bad debt maybe you’ll have figured out how to actually sell.

No problem. Usually getting your foot in any door is a pain in the ass for entry level shit, let alone sales lead positions. It's all in your mindset: if you're an outgoing kind of person you'll be good to go. Absorb everything you learn like a sponge, in the event you get busted or they just plain let you go for underperforming numbers. You'll at least at that point made some contacts within that company itself and you can take the experience (and good references) to bolster your resume for your next stop.

kek. start a massive pyramid scheme with fake companies

Exactly. Once your foot is in the door anyone is able to learn. This company allows me to keep ownership over the portfolio I build and with the choice to sell it back to the company when I choose to leave or not.

Obviously a larp, if you had no experience in sales that would be evident the second you walk through the door.

It’s not a larp here’s one of the emails sent to me after being hired I blurred out company name

Attached: 39E55743-F9CA-4A16-A61A-97E165912B73.jpg (1242x2208, 239.78K)

It’s a remote position occasionally meeting business owners

>Trader(1987)
that's about PTJ you absolute retard

Ah shit your right lol idk why I confused Leonardo di caprio with Paul Tudor. Watch your mouth kid I’m a trader/senior sales rep now and I never spent a day in a cuck class