How do I not be absolute dogshit at this game? i play orcs...

how do I not be absolute dogshit at this game? i play orcs, and I'll start steamrolling at the start with waaagh and as it wears off and I go up against a dwarf army they fucking annihilate me and the skaven sneak attack my capital. fuck all of this

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Play Repanse instead

You are supposed to expand slowly.

You can't defend a million bases at once.

Also, use your soldiers properly in battles for maximum effect.

you need armour piercing against dwarves, don't leave your capital until you can afford a second army to defend it, build walls.

You have to play more defensively until you build up your main settlement chain so you can build a stack of tier 3-4 units.

Sack settlements for income boosts, don't try to expand in regions you can't control.

Wait for opportunities like when adjacent areas are at war with another group and getting stopped.
Also don't be afraid to move to another area that is more defensible and give up your default areas.

>losing to fucking stunties
Lookit dis got, just give da gobbos heavy arrers and watch dem stunties squeal

How do I play Repanse in Mortal Empires? I am a shitter for the starting moves.

Move Repanse to the city for water, then move her to Henri and have him enter her army.
Either bait the cunt in your territory into attacking Repanse with March stance or ignore him and go north to fuck up the vampires. Once you have the cities north of where you start, it's fucking easymode.

I love Total Warhammer so much bros. It's such a great game even with all of its bullshit. Try watching some of LegendOfTotalWar's first 20 turn guides. Those helped me understand practically the mechanics of the game in ways the game doesn't teach. He does use a lot of cheese but you can choose to use as much or as little as you want.

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>Cheese
There is no shame in cheesing. Don't feel guilty. I've fought elves using nothing but dragon's even before the current DLC. The Ai gets all sorts of cheats and cheeses like mad.

Next time I replay it I will use some sort of unit cap mod so I'm not drowning in monsters and elites.

>Playing Vlad
>End up making friends with Zhufbar and Karak Kadrin because I shat all over Ostermark, Ostland, and Mannlet

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If you're a new player try playing Empire or Elves first since they're easier than Orcs. If you're just having trouble with orcs versus dwarves then what you want to do is spam ranged units, preferably night goblin archers (fanatics), arrer boyz, and rock lobbers. Just outgun them as best as possible. You aren't going to win in infantry fights against them until you have Black Orcs at least, so ranged is the way to go.

Play lizards

How do you play as Gelt. How do you do it?
Franz is easy. You reclaim the Reikland, you take Marienburg, and then you enjoy shitting gold for the rest of the campaign.
Gelt? You ignore the goblins in the nigh unassailable mountains for a single turn and they're tunneling into Solland. There is an endless tide of green SHIT at your south border. Karak Hirn doesn't even give a shit about them. On turn THREE, Vlad has almost completely absorbed Averland and the whole place is corrupted. This is ridiculous.

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no idea but I share your frustration. You didn't even mention the hopelessly shit economy.

>letting the stunites live
You'll regret it if Thorgrim wins the badlandsbowl

I've noticed Grimgor winning the badlandsbowl a lot lately. Him and Mommy conquering the donut.

First take a hammer
Then take an anvil
?????
Profit

Doing this right now nearly completing my campaign as Gor-Rok.

Loremasters have been bros the whole campaign.
Delfs, Skaven, were blitzed at the start of lustriabowl. Both gone by turn 25.
Vampirates are mostly gone. Dreadfleet is at war with Cuntsmarshal and takes a few coastal towns.
Rebellions are starting to really space out
Confederate Hexoatl since they're fighting morathi and losing real bad
Form an NAP and trade deal with the donut elves.
We knock morathi from rank 2 to 50-60 in a few turns.
I get peace and the elves mop the rest of the trash up and shes gone.
Cuntsmarshal is picking on my fellow lizzerds. But doing nothing about the war with the dreadfleet taking his coastal towns.
Come down and start beating him up for the lizardcide hes committed all game. Kill the drowned while im at it since they're occupying land i need to win. And fuck their cancer spreading.
Skryer and Rictis declare war on the other side of the world against me for some reason. At ranks 3 and 6.
>Fucking whatever good luck swimming here.
Dreadfleet declares war on loremasters and is spread out with little shit armies raiding me everywhere. Sacks one of my towns in bumfucksville. Does nothing to the loremasters.
Spread out and hunt his shitstacks down alone
Skryer appears with 3 fleets of shit while im spread out, aiming for my vampire coast region and settlements. Brought one of the aids monks that spread epidemics on death.
Xeti declares war on fellow lizards he was bros with all game because why not.
Have to choose between Xeti and Tlaxtlan, either choice tanks my reliability.
Still have to deal with Xeti's enemy, Abominations, taking their land and eventually Loremasters for a campaign win. Loremasters are taking land by the fucking tombkangs across the ocean. Drawing the game out much further.

Its like the game knows im close to winning and turns the retarded shit up to 11. Like it wasnt a retarded grind to get this far already. Last time im playing legendary.

to be fair, theres a bug right now where weapon strength buffs aren't applying properly.

This.

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play the hotfix patch dingus

Focus on growth buildings, only upgrade towns to tier 2 dont waste pop on tier 3. Get heroes/lord/tech/province upgrades for more growth, rush tier 4/5 city, build end game units before turn 30.

Enjoy.

I highly recommend you bite the bullet and play Legendary. Removing the ability to save/load makes the game far more intense and enjoyable in the long run. Every turn and choice matters, and if you fuck up you have to live with it and recover.

Whether you play on normal/very hard combat difficulty is up to you. Personally I think the AI gets such insane bonuses on the campaign map anyway its not needed to play on anything more than normal. Nearly all stacks I go against are tier 9 units anyway.

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You are on like 4 or 5, nothing you described comes close to the 11s it can throw at you.

>Those artillery kill counts

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You have seen nothing mortal

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Jakob, you will never be good at games, I saw you playing this earlier. Suck me, coomer.

thought it was in beta and not official yet lad

If I asked Repanse for a lock of hair to give me luck in a tournament, would she grant my request?

She'd give you a lock of armpit hair

The game is balanced terribly and it is not as arcade-y like earlier games.

You have to take it slow.

Don't play on high difficulties, especially there is no point in setting battle higher because the game gives such ridic bonusses to enemies it is bonkers. It is just not worth it.

Don't bother with cavalry. They are awful in this game if you can't micro. Missile units with Artillery is the name of the game.

Orcs are also pretty bad in the game even though they "fixed" them they didn't buff shit.

The game is all about cheesing early so you can cheese late game. 90% of the mid tier units are not worth it.

Play early defensively so you can have a stack and steamroll the game.

Would it be enough to tie around my lance?

Yeah.
It's Henri's armpit hair.
You didn't ask Repantsu for her hair, you just asked her for hair, you idiot.

Well, she was a peasant, it makes sense that she wouldn't understand that asking someone for a thing means the person wants your thing. I guess I'll have to fight with Henri's armpit air.

No, she'd tell you to believe in the Lady and win on your own merit.