How do i become a witch?

how do i become a witch?

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write fanfiction

get your mother to unbirth you then have her fuck an incubus and birth you again

Every thread until we reach the golden land

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Unironically become a hippie
>move to rural area
>start garden/farm
>drink a lot of tea
>get into tarot, astrology, and other weird shit
>own a black cat or three, and some rats for good measure
this is as close as you can get.

If you write fiction under a super cool pen name then you're a witch, bonus points if it is actually a mystery fiction

Hippies don’t know jackshit about magic

Magic isn't real

what if i write my own unrelated mystery story

get brain damage so you keep thinking you are a witch in some dumb game of chess in your head

what's the preferred way to give yourself brain damage

...

step 1: find a qt girl
step 2: attempt double suicide
step 3: profit

You need to be a 15 year old girl with a deviant art account. You also need to use emotes like xD :p :D ;) after every sentence.

If I had a qt girl I wouldn’t need to give myself brain damage, user.

is being a witch fun, Zig Forums

They do the most stupid and depraved shit just to stave off boredom, what do you think?

sounds like the average shitposter

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why is she playing mtg

because she knows magic

Imagine being an inter-dimensional shitposter for over a thousand years.
That's what being a witch is like.

that sounds fun

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but battler himself became a witch

youtube.com/watch?v=RcaAF_EK8gE

>reach 30 without having sex
>attain wizardhood
>turn yourself into a little girl
>wait another 30 years without having sex
>you are now a witch

Everyone knows that people only read/watch the question arcs

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Get betrayed by the one person you trust

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Turn yourself into a woman, kidnap a kid and offer it to Satan, sell your immortal soul in exchange for dark powers.